Will the Church Help Child Sexual Abuse Survivors with Mental Illness?

I was in church one time and the pastor said, “Give God your truth and he’ll give you his!” This statement has always stuck with me.

My truth is that I am grateful for the blessings that he’s given me. I’m thankful for his love, sound mind, and for the relationships that won’t fade.

For some time now, at least a year and a half, I haven’t felt the same about my church, or anyone’s church for that matter. I grew up in church. I know the tangible presence of God. My love, understanding and lifestyle as a God-class of being is not in question, at least I’m not unclear about where I stand.

I believe that being on television and radio, are great soul winning tools if the person is on assignment from God.

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I have always believed that we are assigned to specific souls to bring to salvation, to officiate a change encounter through God’s direction.

For me though, church has changed. I feel really misinformed about my birthday (New Year’s Eve), told that we are supposed to go to church to bring in the new year, and then made to feel bad by friends and my mom for not wanting to spend my birthday there. When it was about hope and ending racism through the Emancipation Proclamation. I was almost thirty, sadly before becoming hip to that information.

The Word of God

As I look back over my life, I miss the word of God. I love his presence but there is something missing. What I do not miss however, at all, is church.

I begin to ask myself, why do I (we) want to go to church? I feel that we are often lazy in our relationships with God. Maybe not all, but many go to church but they do not even want to. I think people do it out of obligation and laziness. I wonder how many people really read their word in a seven day week. Even the ones that read it daily, make it a ritualistic intercourse with God. What about prayer?

Do you pray everyday? How many times? Muslims and other religions teach that we should pray a certain number of times a day but as a Christian, we are to pray without ceasing. You can be anywhere at anytime, and be in an attitude of prayer all day.

Redefining Ressurrection

I am redefining myself. I have been through a lot and I almost feel that it is unfortunate that I’ve seen so much. Many pastors say, “The church is a hospital.” I’ve heard them joke about being a family and that their is always a few who are crazy!

Here’s the truth, the real issues outside of finances are not being dealt with in the church. I know, I’ve been in the same church with all of my family (in more than one church), and no one felt that supporting us with family counseling was appropriate church business.

People are facing times when relationships should be the hot topic, and work on us as better people but people are still preaching about the “stuff” you can acquire if you just believe. I have to take a very real assessment of my life.

And, when I do, I realize that I’m a good person! I love to give, I have a true heart for people hurting and that I am indeed a healer. My journey has been long and not without stain, but God is washing it away.

Who is the Church?

Church is you! While judgmental saints assume that out of church means out of God’s will, I am gaining on the enemy! I’m doing precisely what God is asking me to do and you know what? It’s working!

Will I go to church again? Of course, I love church- the presence, not the business. Many people go to church out of dependency, and honestly, that’s okay. Many children stay home until they’re eighteen and beyond because they have to learn how to reach goals and become completely independent.

I know the answers for my own lifestyle but I want to know from you, do you go to church as an easy way not to engage at home? Is church a substitute for your home worship, studying and devine relationship?

Child Sexual Abuse

Statistics confirm that 93 percent of sexual predators are religious! That means somebody’s Pastor, Sunday School Teacher, or pew member, is a predator! But we don’t teach relationships in church?

We don’t talk about awareness, but many of the women that have confided in me about not attending church say it was because they were abused by a clergyman.

Child Sexual Abuse is a topic that may seem a bit uncomfortable to talk about but God usually gives me the hard tasks. Either people love me and are empowered by me, or they hate me. Neither will determine my destination beyond this life. I want God pleased!

On Purpose

I do everything on purpose! I have presented countless projects to my church that have been ignored for business ministry, the arts department and more. I never seem to find a place that is for me, I get thrown into departments like I’m the scraps under the table. Although, now that I’m gone all of my suggestions are suddenly being implemented!

I am more than clear on what God’s heart is for me, and the cliche excuses given by Christians are left for the gullible. “It’s not your time. God is working on you. God hasn’t told me to promote you,” are all examples. Or what about, “God is teaching you patience?”

Know your purpose

While I’d love to find the perfect church, I know that won’t happen, unless I create the programs and departments that fill in the blanks.

What has become really clear to me is the fact that women and men suffer from mental illnesses that are ignored by the church. The church wants you to believe God for miraculous healing, lay hands on you and send you home.

In many situations, miraculous healing may work. However, their is another kind of healing that takes time. You must walk through the process, and sometimes that process may be intense counseling. It may be setting an atmosphere that allows the person to counsel themselves with your support. There are many options but the idea is that the church become approachable.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that with the aggression of cancer, churches have created healing ministries to build the faith of the person being attacked by the disease, and to cast out the sickness.

My question is, “When will we do this for depression, bipolar disorder, multiple personalities and other sicknesses that often are rooted in sexual abuse?”

Church and Sexual Abuse

As the creator, and facilitator of Ten Ways to Safeguard your Child from Sexual Abuse, I am not motivated to go to church for a recycled message.

The church seems to be progressive in everything like big speakers, new state of the art equipment, and spending money on things we could do without, however, the church has yet to take hold of the silent beasts that rip people apart from the insides and torture them everyday.

If physical sickness is demonic, so is mental illness. I need to see the church shift to deliver all, and not just some.

80 percent of people who suffer from substance abuse was sexually abused as a child.

The church is dealing with topical matters, and I encourage the church to dig deep, the root is waiting to be uprooted so that lives can be changed on a cellular level.

More than ever, I commit to continued prayer for the people God has assigned me to love, support and effectively change!

Your comments below are welcome!

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About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com
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8 Responses to Will the Church Help Child Sexual Abuse Survivors with Mental Illness?

  1. Pingback: The Predators we Love | The Official BLOG site of Ressurrection Graves

  2. Pingback: What does the bible say about Child Sexual Abuse and Molestation, and what will we do as a body to prevent it within the church? | The Official BLOG site of Ressurrection Graves

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  4. tammy glines says:

    I hear you, and you are so right! We want to “hide” all the dirty little secrets to protect the “children” of the predators and their wives. The church needs to We talk about drug addiction and alcoholism all day, but when this subject comes up we want to go around it. I have witnessed this irst hand in the church and it disturbs me how pastors just ignore those in authority positions who abuse older children and excuse their behavior.

  5. Tricia Soares says:

    Amen Sister ,I not only marched my daughter to the police station,I stood in front of my church family and told of the evil that had invaded my home for 10 years against my daughter(that I never caught or knew about ,for most of these men are master sociopaths and royal narcissist’s) and 20 years against me and all 6 of my children.The church is not ready for real life issues and many turn a deaf ear to your crys for help and even your need to be uplifted. It is a though you walk around with a disfigured face after you pull this demon out into the light.. I wish more women would report ,and keep us that do from hanging out on the limb.Yes !yes! yes! these men are sitting in our pews and wearing masks of husbands, fathers ,stepfathers & great friends…Thank You for not loosing your voice ,I am sad to report my daughter did.. Keep giving the world these statistics.. We are all disillusioned if we think this could never happen to us..i felt that way too just six short months ago.. God be with these poor children who suffer this awful nightmare and have their innocence ripped from them. I am quite sure the other stastic which was not mentioned sex addiction and how many of these victims go on that horrid roller coaster and loose control of there sexuality completely…This has to be an abomination in God’s eyes for the big picture of what it produces is so awful that these victims are turning to every evil: drugs, drink ,sex, stripping, gambling, just to try to survive the silent moments or the moments that are suppose to be intimate with their spouses. We need to slay this ugly beast like David slayed the Giant..The first step being to report these people and stop hiding them away, come on ladies don’t be afraid of your life changing and loosing everything you have, it’s worth everything I have lost doing this God has sustained my life & my spirit.He will yours to iif you do the right thing. Thanks and God Bless,..A loving mom..

  6. Denise Hisey says:

    Church is an easy place to hide while doing ‘good works.’ Sexual abuse is destructive and until the church finds a better way to address the root of it all instead of the typical attitude of ‘pray it away’ or ‘think better thoughts’ we are in for a continued downhill slide.

  7. Pingback: Deaf to Church: How the Homeless Get Lost | Love, Life, and Relationships: Overcoming Emotional and Child Sexual Abuse

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