After continuous conversations in my head telling me to let him go I finally gained enough strength to do it. I thought about the possibilities of him getting physical with me but I took my chances.
It all started about eight months ago when I first met Cobie in school. My first impression was wow I remember him from when I was younger, he was always so angry. But of course I set those feelings aside just telling myself not to be judgmental of others.
We talked for about six months before he actually asked me to be his girlfriend. When he asked I really didn’t know what to say, more so I wanted to say I need time to think about it. Instead I just immediately replied with a sudden yes.
Each month we were together I ended breaking up with him for some reason or another. So the question is, how did we continue an eight month relationship? Well it wasn’t easy in fact he just typically persuaded me into thinking he was going to change or he was worth being in a relationship with me. He showed some sort of change but it was barely enough to keep my mouth shut.
The craziest thing about the whole situation is my motto is, “Don’t sit around waiting for a man to change” but yet I waited eight months. I’m not hard on myself because I was in such a serious and controlling relationship at such a young age but I’m taking this as a learning experience and a story to help other young teens to protect themselves and pay attention to the signs right before their eyes.
Some signs that you are in a controlling relationship are:
Beginning to isolate you away from friends and family
A good example of this, is if you are in a relationship where your boyfriend/girlfriend tries to control who you spend time with or talk to.
Causing you to apologize for questioning his/ her authority
If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are talking and he/she demands that you spend your entire weekend with him/her and you say decline, often times a controlling partner will make you feel the need to apologize for “disrespecting” him/her.
Putting marks on your body to indicate you are “ his or her partner”
Many young relationships are solidified by groups of peers who look for signs that you belong to each other. If you break up, they want to know and interrogate you as if you owe them explanation. By putting a hickey on you whether visible to others, or not is a sign of control and he/she is marking their territory.
Putting you before anything in their life
If your partner plays a sport and has gotten offers from other local high schools to play and decides to stay at the school because he doesn’t want your relationship to dissipate, or for any other guys to try and talk to you.
Telling you, you can not participate in certain activities
If you enjoy playing a certain sport and he tells you to spend more time with him and the sport is coming between your relationship. This happens to girls and boys.
If you are experiencing any of the above signs I suggest that you either have a conversation with your partner or either get out of the relationship before matters get worse.
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