I sense that there is an attack on marriage in a variety of communities. In one of my old blog posts I mentioned that there is a group of homosexuals who said that they want same-sex marriage to be legalized so that they can lobby for marriage to be abolished altogether.
Marriage is a covenant from God and man can not make it insignificant. We are seeing the reality shows use the word “wives” when, on most of the shows where the word is used, these women are not a “wife” in the position of the word.
Likewise, we see people in the Christian community who are walking away from their marriages for irreconcilable differences, infidelity and quite frankly drama that we don’t really need to know about.
In the latest of divorces are Deitrick and Damita Haddon. Deitrick uploaded a picture of him and his new boo-thang with his brand new baby on New Year’s Eve (my birthday).
After he began receiving negative comments from people who are clearly in shock, he decided to take his business to Facebook and blast Isaac Carree for sleeping with his wife and breaking up his marriage.
The whole thing I find disgusting and I could have done without this knowledge. What I appreciate is Tye Tribbett who had his own extra-marital foolishness and how he humbled himself, repented publicly and recommitted himself to his marriage.
From what I hear, the Betty and Coretta movie was a fictional movie but portrayed the lives of two women whose men were saving the world. When a friend called me, and we discussed this article she chimed in saying that all she kept thinking was that their homes were not in order and they needed to go back home. And, why did I need to know that Martin Luther King Jr. was unfaithful? There is no point to this disclosure.
Ministers are required to have their homes in order, and by home I mean the place they sleep at night where their wife/husband and children dwell. There is nothing wrong with ministry or your career but when it seems that your relationships are not in alignment with your career, go home. It is important that you become one and walk in your oneness.
In response to the admission of Deitrick Haddon confusion I want to say this:
Isaac Carree did not MAKE you get a divorce. Divorce was an option for you and Damita. Infidelity is sin, but there was decision after the sin, to walk away. In addition to stating that you divorced Damita because of her infidelity, you have tried to excuse your own infidelity with the fact that you almost committed suicide twice. I totally understand being at a low point in life but sex in your new relationship which produced a child was also a choice.
To say anything different is to tell your listeners that they can do the same. Instead an admission (to those who follow you) not the entire world on Facebook and Instagram, would have been sufficient – because there is a baby (evidence). And, you have to know that those who are spiritually sensitive can sense what’s going on in your music without you ever saying a word-ever. It is commendable that you haven’t ministered in a year, and I would encourage you to stay seated until you are healed and whole.
Lastly, the media who are gossipers and backbiters are bullies. You owe no man an explanation for your personal affairs, but you do owe God your integrity. If you need to sit down, do that. There is a difference between secrets, scandals and your business.
A secret is something that is being held that will harm others. A scandal is when the wrong person exposes the secret. In Deitrick Haddon’s case, it sounds like it was self-inflicted. But the truth is, most things are not a “secret” they are just not someone else’s business.
You have to protect your marriage. Love covers a multitude of sin. This scripture never said that someone can abuse you in any way or constantly do the same sin – as there would be no evidence of repentance. No one can tell you that you made the right or a poor choice in getting divorced, only you know your situation but do not encourage others to do the same. As leaders, the choices we make impact generations.
When leaders realize that you can not be a leader without possessing influence, perhaps they will take the time to become whole in order to handle opposition in a way that does not divide God’s people. – Ressurrection Graves
Here is what one commenter named “Jeena” from PraiseDC had to say about this foolishness:
I don’t know how I got subscribed to you guys but the last time I checked, I thought you guys were suppose to be promoting Christian and spiritual related news and music. Not gossip in the Christian community. It disgusts me that such a station would promote and email such news out like this. I think its borderline disgusting in general for people to call out their fellow human being in such a way. We all make mistakes. Grow up and stop posting up pointless news. I think this is something that should be left up to only Deitrick Haddon, Isaac Carree, and whoever was involved. Not the public (at least not for gossip purposes).
And, we’ll end with Isaac Carree’s response which I felt was the most appropriate thing said all day. If you do not understand his comment he says that everyone should mind their business while Deitrick figures out how to stop being foolish.
“It has been brought to my attention that Deitrick Haddon recently made some very hurtful statements about me. I, as well as my wife, are both shocked and confused by Deitrick’s actions. It saddens me that he would seek to engage in mudslinging with me, especially because he and I have spoken openly and honestly about this, even long before his allegations. While I have no desire to drag these personal conversations into a public forum, he and I both know what the truth is. Still, I pray God’s best for him and his family. This weighs heavily on me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to speak from my heart. This will be the only statement that I will make regarding this situation.”
I am really praying for marriage in general, that people come back to love and understand the covenant and purpose of marriage. I am praying that those who are married will talk about why they got married often and are focused on their purpose in life as one. Love is an extremely beautiful, supernatural thing. And, married people who have gotten divorced have remarried to each other too. Selah.