Judge Judy’s Son Interferes with NY Rape Case?

 

By JIM FITZGERALD Associated Press

SOUTHEAST, N.Y. March 26, 2013 (AP)

 

A suburban district attorney who is the son of TV’s “Judge Judy” is being accused of interfering in a child rape case in which the suspect is his personal trainer and recently lived with him.

Putnam County District Attorney Adam Levy has recused himself from the investigation of Alexandru Hossu, but the local sheriff claims Levy is still involved.

“He is apparently trying to influence and affect the investigation, which could be perceived as an ethical violation of his official duties and perhaps even as an attempt to undermine it,” Sheriff Donald Smith said.

In a response Monday night, Levy accused the sheriff of making “unfounded allegations and misstatements.”

“My office acted properly in every aspect of the investigation,” he said.

The question of Levy’s involvement in the case has turned into a volley of accusations between the two men, who have clashed publicly before over traffic tickets; Levy also made a veiled criticism of the sheriff’s office in a news release recently.

Hossu, 35, was arrested last week on charges that he twice raped a 12-year-old girl in 2010. The sheriff said the victim, now 15, only recently reported being raped. Hossu made a brief appearance in court Tuesday in and is due back May 7. A call to his lawyer was not immediately returned.

In his initial news release, the sheriff gave the defendant’s address as Levy’s home in Southeast, N.Y., about 50 miles north of New York City. Later, he described Hossu as Levy’s “live-in personal trainer.”

Levy said the sheriff had made a mistake. The sheriff’s office said Monday that Hossu did live at Levy’s home, but “the specific dates” have not been determined.

Levy said he recused himself as soon as he learned that Hossu, “who my family had known for years,” was under investigation. But the sheriff said an assistant district attorney had already made the recusal decision for Levy, so it “was not really his original idea at all.”

Smith said Levy’s commenting on the case revealed “ongoing and improper involvement.”

“In my view, Mr. Levy’s comments and actions would seem to suggest that, if he could have his own way, Mr. Hossu would never have been brought to justice for his crime and Mr. Levy’s relationship with him would never have been brought to the light of public scrutiny,” the sheriff said.

He said Levy was trying to distract public attention “from what this case is really about: the vicious rape of a little girl by a man whom he housed and hired as his personal fitness trainer.”

The sheriff also said Hossu is a Romanian in the country illegally, his work visa having expired 12 years ago. Without mentioning Levy, he said he has requested a federal investigation to determine if anyone illegally “harbored, shielded, aided or abetted” Hossu before or after the alleged rape.

Levy said last week he had no idea of Hossu’s immigration status.

Both Levy and Smith are Republicans. It’s not clear whether there’s any underlying reason for the war of words, though the men battled last year over how to handle traffic tickets. In one of his recent statements, Levy said his office has been trying “to improve the way law enforcement agencies like the Sheriff’s Department handled child sexual abuse allegations.”

Lucian Chalfen, a spokesman for Westchester District Attorney Janet DiFiore, would not say whether Levy might be questioned during the investigation. But he said, “Our investigation relates to the allegations of the forcible rape.”

Judy Sheindlin, who is Levy’s mother, a retired New York judge and earns a reported $45 million a year as the wildly popular star of her courtroom TV show, says that’s as it should be.

“The sole focus of this story should be the investigation as to whether a young girl was the victim of a very serious crime,” she said Tuesday through spokesman Gary Rosen.

 

If You Don’t Get This Business Lesson You Will Be Broke

Business Tips for Developing Lasting Relationships: Do Not Be Afraid to talk about or receive money for your work.

Many people like you for a moment. They are responding with emotion. Many people will flood you with “opportunities” but will not follow through. And when they do not follow through, you cannot follow through. Our connections are fluid.

Every broken promise or lack of integrity that affects our personal or professional relationship will impact the environment for which that connection was supposed to flow. This is why we become disappointed. We have plans for the money and resources that we earn or were promised in a contractual agreement.

Business Tip:

If you have family (who will be affected by your income), do not operate in good faith. People intentionally or unintentionally lack integrity. Here is the reality: The only promise we should put expectations on are those that have been given by God.

To be responsible in business you cannot fear asking for income that makes you feel valuable to yourself when you sleep at night. To be responsible in your personal life, you must put requirements on your income as a business person.

This means that unless you have a “good faith” deposit from THEM, don’t take the time to put together a contract that will be ignored as a piece of paper and not honored as a binding agreement.

In other words, as noble as it is to desire connections from people who have a heart to get your message out, let them continue to share, comment, like, email others as your evangelists. There is a difference in business between an evangelist, and a disciple.

When people call you, they should already expect to pay your fee, they should expect a deposit, and they should want to honor you with payment.

When I go to a restaurant, I expect to tip the waitress 15% because that is the standard, and I know that it is how she is paid. If she’s awful, and I know I would not want to pay her, I call the manager and ask for them to send over the best waitress in the building or ask to be served by someone else. (This doesn’t happen often by the way.) If however the first waitress is more than standard, and blew me away (anticipating my needs etc) I will give her more.

You should have a standard, and if you are finding that your standard is not honored two things happen:

1- They don’t get to see you BE. Extraordinary!
2- They won’t pay you the offering even if they did

The other thing that you should know is that if your standard is not honored by someone well intended you may:

• Have the right audience but the wrong customer

Using tithes and offering as an analogy only based on the above example, your fee is your standard and based on how blessed someone is by you, anything else is an offering or in the world a waitressing a 20% tip.

While there will be connections that you make where you all agree to a creative financing option on your fee-for-service, if a contract is being drawn up based on your verbal agreement, you should seal it with payment immediately. If not, you will be faced with loads of work, promises and disappointment that yield no income.

Wishing you something different,

Ressurrection

Ressurrection is an author, speaker and entrepreneur who offers pre-engagement relationship counseling, keynote/workshop/conference speaking on subjects around emotional wellness, child sexual abuse prevention and healing, and eradicating homelessness.

 

Don't rush your apprenticeship

Reblogged from ramsonmumba:

My assignment right now involves flying between the US and the UK on a regular basis to pastor churches on both sides of the Atlantic. Estrella and I couldn't do it without the awesome team of gifted people that God has placed around us.

In building a team to accomplish a mission like ours, we have learnt that the caliber of every member is vital.

Read more… 348 more words

If you are a part of a team and you realize that you are compelled to do individual work, not to the sabatoge of another but the greater purpose in you, it may be time to step out.

Nevermind, I’ll Find Someone Like You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=NtFWwvhc_V8#!

“Nevamind I’ll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you two…. don’t forget me, I beg, I’ll remember you said, sometimes it lasts in love, and sometimes it hurts instead.”

This part of the famous Adele song “Someone like you” draws tears from the coldest most concrete-hearted person. There is some part of us that stands up to rejection and saddness in an act of survival, of desperation for controlling our emotions enough to imagine moving on.

In contrast when your heart breaks, this standing-up is only an act. It reminds me of breathing techniques while belting out notes that make you want to cry, self-control is a powerful reaction to the things that want to break you.

As emotionally descending as it is to say “Never mind I’ll find someone like you”, it strikes me as a lie. When our souls are tied to the idea that we’ve found the best, even in the midst of revelation that we have in fact not found the best person for us, we (particularly women) seem to mislead ourselves into this brokenness which tells us that no one else will ever match the intense love that we’ve experienced with the same person that comes to mind when this song is played.

You May Also Like: The Rules of Engagement for Biblical Dating and Marriage

The lie is this: We are emotionally connected to the idea of finding someone who is familiar but we don’t really want the same person. We don’t want someone “like” the person we’re breaking up with. Who in the tom-foolery wants to experience the level of deep dissatisfaction which comes with believing that we’ve found love when it was a form of love?

Similar to how some people who say they have an intimate connection with God only have a form of godliness. This song is one of the most beautiful, saddest songs we’ve ever heard. It resonates with all of mankind who can reach into their sense memory to capture moments that should be forbidden to remember.

As you enjoy this song, and the break-up songs that follow I hope that you remember to do a self-check for familiar spirits. Please know that you do not want him to remember you, because you want to move on and be filled with joy as he is with his future (wife). You too, want to find someone who is not like him or you two together.

The truth is the line, “Nevermind I’ll find someone like you” is a bit haunting and if you listen to this kind of self-talk, you’ll find someone like him, over and over again while living in complete blindness to your relationship wish list. You can be proactive. You can sit down and believe God for the relationship he has just for you. You’d have to be honest with yourself first, honest with God and draw the right person close to you. I know it can happen.

You want someone who will say this about you:

“It’s like what Billy Crystal said in When Harry Met Sally, ‘when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.’” -Jared L. 

Want to learn how to find the one? Click Here

Wishing you someone different,

Ressurrection

Ressurrection is a relationship mentor who offers pre-engagement counseling to couples who are in a relationship and thinking about marriage. Using biblical principles she offers support in making next step assessments for couples thinking of tying the knot. For more information please call 202.717.7377 or email ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com

Spiritual Parenting: Gentle Goodnight

Gentle Goodnight helps to dance your children to sleep.

Spiritual parenting to me is treating your baby/kids as you would want to be treated. Not treating them as an inconveniences that need to find a way to self sooth themselves, be obedient at all times and not get in the way of their parents busy lives. It is important to know that your kids are here to be treated with respect. Your job is to help them unfold into who they are to become and not to mold them into who we want them to be.

My religion is kindness as the Dalai Lama said. I believe all religions have truth and although I believe in God, a higher power, Supreme Being or whatever people want to call that energy, I do not follow a particular religion. I feel that if you need a guide to life or if religion makes you a better person then religion is perfect. For me I treat everyone with kindness and as I would like to be treated and that pretty much encompasses a part of every religion.

In 2013 parenting in a spiritual way is necessary to raise your children. How you raise your kids, those experiences become a part of who they are. Even if they can not consciously recall every detail of how you treated them, those experiences become a part of who they become. If we want to have a peaceful world we have to start with our babies and children.

If there emotional needs are met and not just their physical needs they will learn empathy and compassion to carry with them out into our world. I have continuously talked to my kids who are now 5, 10 and 13 about treating everyone with kindness. Always in a way they can relate to and at a level depending on their age where they could understand using the interactions they and we have with people.

I am the author of Gentle Goodnight which was written as an aid to help start parents off in being spiritually conscious with their new baby. It discusses why it is important to choose the sleep method you will use carefully to get this new soul to sleep. Which again, Gentle Goodnights Dancing sleep method goes back to treating babies as we would all want to be treated.

Would we want to be left crying to go to sleep or would we like to relax into sleep with mom dancing us in a way we both enjoy? This baby is like a stranger in a foreign land who doesn’t speak the language and can’t move his/her body to get what they need. Complete compassion for what life must be like for these vulnerable human beings to me will only help the baby to understand they are safe and loved. Gentle Goodnight understands this and will help new moms build that unbreakable bond of trust with their baby.

Author Lyssa with Gentle Goodnight

 Lyssa’s career as an author began as she felt the deep need to share her Dancing Method that she perfected after a decade to get her kids to sleep. Her passion is to keep improving the quality of life of her family and others, Gentle Goodnight can do that for babies and their moms!  Gentle Goodnight is available at www.Gentlegoodnight.com, BarnesandNoble.com and Amazon.com

 

 

 

Suicide & How My Brother Saved Me From Drowning

Suicide & How My Brother Saved Me From Drowning.

What a beautiful writing and how amazing to be saved by your brother! This is a must read.

[MEDIA RELEASE] Heal Me With Words™ Photo Exhibit during National Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month 2013

Submit your submissions if you are not going to be in Washington DC at: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com

Ressurrection Graves wrote a memoir and released it in honor of National Child Abuse Month April 2011. After penning Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love, her mother reading it called Ressurrection in astonishment. There conversation lead to Ressurrection’s work today, to bring awareness, healing, prevention and intervention to child sexual abuse.

Ressurrection’s instincts about the correlation between child sexual abuse and homelessness were true. She found that 97% of homeless mothers had been sexually abused as a child and/or raped as an adult.

The more that she became involved in awareness she found her own voice – her niche. Today Ressurrection’s focus is making child sexual abuse grooming (a term that she has created) a felony and exposing pro-pedophile groups who intend to legalize sexual abuse.

You will find this information in her new book: Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children. Ressurrection has also created the curriculum: Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse and this information will also be found in the aforementioned book due in 2013!

She is currently crowdfunding for her book project at the above link. She has confirmed that her book cover will be authentically created by none other than the celebrity visual artist Demont “Peekaso” Pinder who was discovered traveling on tour with Raheem DeVaughn about ten years ago.

Last year, 2012 Ressurrection wrote stories about people who have healed from child sexual abuse. Some of those stories included Marko Hamlin, Johnnetta McSwain, Catherine Marie Portillo, Sundi Jo, Victoria Pendragon, Jan Williams and Jason Kidd whose story helped to launch the “Make Child Sexual Abuse Grooming a Felony” petition on Change.org.

In honor of National Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month (what we call it) April 2013, Ressurrection has partnered with Lisa J. Monroe a photographer from Washington, DC to provide a photo exhibit of individuals who are healed, or are healing from the scars of abuse.

We want Heal Me With Words™ to be a place where people can come to and see poster-boards with messages that affirm their healing journey. We want to see the supernatural power of healing and to inspire you with words. The title of this project is a eye-to-eye contact approach to healing through photograph exhibition. Many people want to be healed, and they don’t know where to start. They reach out, and with this campaign, we are reaching back. With that Lisa J. Monroe and I give you The Heal Me With Words™ Project. – Ressurrection Graves

The process is simple. We have several dates and times that you can come and get your picture taken in Washington, DC, Arlington or Manassas, Virginia in April to have it uploaded and added to this website and our Facebook page Heal Me With Words™.

Below are the dates and activities:

***Please bring your poster-board and preferably a BLUE Sharpie (because that is the color that represents Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month).***

You can choose to take a creative picture that covers, or does not include your face and submit it to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com

April 5th Arlington, Va: is the Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse Seminar in honor of National Child Sexual Abuse Awareness Month. It is our campaign kick off. Heal Me With Words™ will not be present to take pictures but we ask that you support our mission to prevent child sexual abuse by learning from Ressurrection’s presentation. You can take pictures of your own here and then email them to us: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com

April 5th Arlington, Va: is the Somebody Say Word Open Mic Event. Co-hosted by 13 of Nazareth, you will get the very best in poetry, music, vocalists, and other performing arts from the Washington DC area. Heal Me With Words™ will not be present to take pictures but we ask that you support the open mic and the amazing artists who do come. You can take pictures of your own here and then email them to us: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com

April 13th Manassas, Va: is Arts Alive! is a free festival put on by the Prince William County Arts Council. Ressurrection will perform poetry in honor of National Poetry Month. The event is held at the Hylton Performing Arts Center and serves as the largest arts event in the area. The event is scheduled from 12pm-8pm. Lisa J. Monroe will be present from 12pm – 4pm to take pictures for Heal Me With Words™

April 22nd Washington, DC: is the Million March against Child Abuse  headed by Domonick’s Warriors and held in Lafayette Park. We will join their efforts in numbers. Lisa J. Monroe and Ressurrection will be outside with the Heal Me With Words™ project. You can take a picture with your poster-board in Lafayette Park during this historic event. Ressurrection Graves will be a speaker at this event as well.

Here are the steps:

1. Grab a blue sharpie
2. Grab a posterboard (like the picture)
3. Write a revelation you had while you were healing (from anything)
4. Take a Picture!
5. Call with questions 202.717.7377 (RESS)
6. Send it to: ressurrection.wordpress@yahoo.com
7. Heal Me With Words

And here is the writing prompt: Remember a time when you had a deep revelation during your healing process. What was this transformational revelation that helped you heal?

Heal Me with your Words!

National Child Abuse Month can be used for awareness, prevention, intervention, healing and education. Our photo exhibit is designed to spread healing far and wide. Please join us.

Would you like Ressurrection to add your organization or event to her Itinerary for April? If she is a speaker at your event, Heal Me With Words™ can also participate with their photo exhibit to bring healing to others. If you are interested, please see the “BOOK ME” page above, or call: 202.717.7377 (RESS) **All of the links in this article are live and can be clicked on for more information**

Heal Me With Words™ is a trademark of Ressurrection Graves. The pictures are copyright of Ressurrection Graves and Lisa J. Monroe. All Rights Reserved.

Love and Relationships: How to Develop Good Communication

I think people have a misconception that when you get married, you have arrived. In fact, I think we believe that about everything. We don’t see life as a constant but as a destination. So, we want to get out of high school. Some aren’t encouraged to go to college. But for those who are, you want to go to college.

After getting your degree, you imagine you’ll do that forever. But things are always improving and to BE. Extraordinary! you need continuing education classes, connections with other innovative people who empower you to be strong and amazing. We are single, and decide that marriage will be the end of something we feel void of, and this is your lie to yourself.

Marriage is absolutely awesome, adorable, lovely. Being married to my husband brings me joy and I can only liken it to my decision to live for God. I believe that marriage has a doctrine and in that first year, learning how to understand the covenant created between you two, and the choice to walk in it, is a challenge for anyone.

Married 18 years – Anthony and Christina Murray, Oasis Church in Atlanta, Georgia

It does not change your love, if anything marriage should rekindle the fire that you have for God as your mate serves as an example, a tangible expression of your divine relationship with the most high. Also, your love should grow as you handle discrepancies with care. In the first year, you will learn:

1. When to fight
2. How to fight
3. What communication really is all about

When emotions are high, and tension makes you impulsive, you can raise your voice or argue in front of children. When you get married, whatever you were able to hide is exposed. Whether you struggle with pornography, poor eating habits, or are irresponsible the first year of your marriage will require you to examine yourself beyond what your single preparation for marriage may have done for you.

It is important that you don’t blame each other, or try to parent one another but that you truly develop a love and partnership. Create an atmosphere that inspires the other to heal, grow, mature and BE. Extraordinary! There is nothing wrong with having non-negotiables but remember that God gave us free will to serve, and choose our relationship with him. Our relationship with our mate is not about power and control.

The relationship tip is:

Do Not Abandon Your Communication Skills

You could say that at some point in your life you’ve felt abandoned by God. Whether the statement of your feelings are true or not may be different but understand that there have been times where we’ve felt like God was not hearing us. We have to learn in our intimacy with God, how he talks to us. For me, he speaks directly at times, through people (who do not know that they are conveying a message), and in dreams. How does God talk to you?

I would have never said that anything was more important than sex before getting married. I may have put them on the same level but I venture to say that communication is necessary for anything else to work. God speaks, but he also listens. I believe that one way to learn effective communication is to examine and develop your communication with God.

Sometimes the way we communicate with each other can feel like we’re being punched in the face. Is this how you want your mate to feel?

And, as it relates to your mate, use wisdom. Know when to speak, when to listen and when to decide mutually to be silent agreeing to come back together in a short period of time to work it out. Consider communication the percussion section of your marriage.

Ressurrection Graves is a relationship mentor who loves love. She writes and maintains her blog, is an author and national speaker on topics surrounding healing, love, relationships, entrepreneurship, child sexual abuse and homelessness. To check out her speaking topics please click here.

Maine Karate Instructor Charged with Child Sex Assault

Wade Robert Hoover faces federal charges after investigators allegedly found photos and videos of him sexually assaulting a boy who appeared to be asleep.

The Associated Press

BANGOR — An instructor at a Lewiston karate studio has been charged in federal court with producing child pornography in connection with an alleged sexual assault on an 11-year-old boy.

The Bangor Daily News reports that Wade Robert Hoover of Augusta was originally charged in state court after child pornography was allegedly found on his laptop.

He was arrested Oct. 3 at the office of the Maine chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, where he worked.

He faces federal charges after investigators allegedly found photographs and videos of Hoover sexually assaulting a boy who appeared to be asleep.

According to court documents, the boy was the 11-year-old son of a law enforcement officer Hoover knew. It could not be determined if Hoover had a lawyer.

MAKE CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE GROOMING A FELONY

Originally published here.

Ressurrection Graves is from the Washington DC area and created a term entitled, “Child Sexual Abuse Grooming” which is different legally than “Child Grooming” which is associated with “Child Trafficking”. She is working diligently to “Make Child Sexual Abuse Grooming A Felony”.

Ritual Child Abuse: An 8-year-old boy marries a 61-year-old woman

According to an article in the Mail Online Newspaper an eight-year-old boy was contacted by his ancestors and told that he should marry in Tshwane, South Africa. The boy and the mother who were fearing divine retribution decided that marrying a 61-year-old woman would keep their family safe.

In church Sunday morning a guest minister mentioned a case in the US where a child reported that they were going to church too much and as a result, the child was taken from the parents into child protective custody. He found this article on parentalrights.org. In the end, the child was given back to the parents but with conditions, the court had to monitor how much church the child attended.

I find that amazing since I’ve had to call child protective services on people in various jurisdictions for real cases of abuse, and nothing happened to protect the child from physical, emotional, psychological or sexual abuse. The child in the case who was complaining about the amount of church they attended was fighting for their own rights to be established.

The eight-year-old child was named in the article about the 61-year-old woman. The only time this happens is when the families and professionals involved do not feel that there was a crime committed, or that the child was victimized. Amazingly, in a previous article that I wrote about Bishop Larry Trotter, most people were smudging the face of his granddaughter under the impression that she was victimized.

In the article about this child Sanele, it clearly states that the act is a ritual. Although they had a full-scale wedding which included family, friends, flowers, a wedding dress and officiant, no papers were signed. Here are my questions for the families involved. Why did you need to make your ancestors happy? Why did a grandmother marrying a child in a ritual to satisfy his grandfather’s dream (because he never had a “white-wedding) signify that this child would one day be married?

Child Ritual Abuse Marriage

This was not an actual marriage however, I disagree. In the bible, it is very clear that a contract constitutes marriage, I submit to you that these families had a contract. It is not clear to me why other blogs and forms of publication are calling this an arranged marriage. It is a ritual marriage and because this is a child it is ritual abuse. In America, any time an agreement is made and either written down or verbal where money is exchanged it is considered a contract. The money executes the contract.

I realize that their marriage will not be recorded by vital records in Africa but the ceremony and the financial arrangement by the family makes this deeply ritual to me. The eyes of the court to do not stand a chance in the eyes of God.

It is important even in a Christian household that we teach our children how to pray, and how to live by the standards and morals that we believe are divine. It is also important that parents are able to teach their children about spiritual aspects of their believing system which may include some things that outsiders would not understand.

However, there is a difference between praying and occult practices which are ingrained within ritualistic abuse. In this situation, the child asks to obey his ancestors request. In order to make that kind of contact, there had to be practices which established his belief that he could hear from his grandfather in the first place. The mother should have been clear that as a child, this kind of ritual would be unacceptable.

A child is not able to make life decisions, and the more that the news promotes the self-sufficiency of children, the more that rights are being taken from parents who are there to guide them. A few misguided parents should not determine how other parents raise their children.

For example, spanking your child is a huge debate, and the church maintains that it is against its doctrine to spoil a child (not spank them) however agree that to physically discipline your child with weapons or out-of-anger is abusive and has negative effects on the child’s development, mental and spiritual growth.

You May Also Like: Amazon Sells Pedophile Books

My anti-pedophile fight is to make very clear that children are not sexual beings. Children do not have the capacity to make decisions about their life or their bodies. Adam came from the dust of the ground and GOD breathed life into him. Eve came from the rib of Adam, and her oxygen was in her blood. GOD chose to create the rest of humanity through the womb of a woman, even bringing Jesus by the same way. For this reason, Jesus is called the Son of GOD, and the Son of Man.

If we begin to promote children as beings who can make their own choices about their life, we will become a pro-pedophile nation. Not pictured here, but offered in the original article is the child and the woman kissing after the exchange of rings. How is this not child sexual abuse? How is this not child pornography?

In my book, Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children, I talk about this agenda which seeks to steal, kill and destroy the youth of tomorrow.

As parents, and adults we have a responsibility to guide and protect our children. There will be people who misguide their children however, I would rather have hope in a child finding their way than to tell children that they can make their own decisions when we know that the child’s careless risk in decision-making does not end until around the age of 24-25 years old. This information comes from the National Institute of Health and other evidence-based assessments.

You May Also Like: Parents demand rights for transgendered child

If we choose to do anything, it should be to raise the age of consent for sex and other risky behaviors to reduce the opportunity for our children to be taken advantage of by all perpetrators not just pedophiles. Lastly, the article indicates that these families will go back to their normal lives. While I am not an expert in this ritual my question is, why was it necessary in the first place?

How do we know that the child will not be raped by this woman? I used the term rape because a child can not consent. How do you know that behind closed doors he will not be obligated to perform acts with her? After all, she was bold enough to invite 100 guests, gain the approval of her husband and five adult children, and kiss the child in the mouth at their wedding.

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert in the anti-pedophile movement working to ensure that children are protected from all forms of abuse. She is a national speaker, and author who created the curriculum, Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse. To Book Ressurrection for your next event, radio or television interview please click here.

57-Year-Old Man has Sexual Relationship with a 14-Year-Old Child

Originally Published By Fox591:47 p.m. EDT, October 30, 2012

Questionable text messages led a father to uncover a possible sexual relationship between his 14-year-old daughter and a 57-year-old man.
text messages reveal possible sexual relationship between 14-year-old girl and 57-year-old man According to a report from the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department, the father found the messages and asked his daughter about them.
According to a report from the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department, the father found the cell phone and asked his daughter about it. The girl said the man–57-year-old Francisco Alcala–had given the phone to her, the report said.

The father tried to confront Alcala at his southwest side home but called police when he couldn’t find him. Officers arrived at the home and interviewed the 14-year-old, who told them she’d had sexual contact with the man on more than one occasion.Detectives from the IMPD Sex Crimes Unit arrested Alcala Tuesday on preliminary charges of sexual misconduct with a minor and child molesting.

WHY MAKE CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE GROOMING A FELONY

Ressurrection Graves is from the Washington DC area and created a term entitled, “Child Sexual Abuse Grooming” and is different legally than “Child Grooming” which is associated with “Child Trafficking”. She is working diligently to “Make Child Sexual Abuse Grooming A Felony”.

The Girl who said she was a Boy

Reblogged from Raising 5 Kids With Disabilities and Remaining Sane Blog:

Marie, who is profoundly deaf, came to live with us at the age of 7 years old.  At first she appeared to be your typical “tom boy”, but then she began to exhibit symptoms of being something more…symptoms of being an actual boy.  Quite simply, she TOLD me she was a boy.  She would only wear boy clothes, (including boy’s underwear.)  She refused to use the Ladies Rest Room so we found the family and unisex restrooms if she had to go to the bathroom in public. 

Read more… 774 more words

I thought that this post was exceptional. You don't see it coming, but it ends powerfully and I knew that it would be the kind of story that would fit well in this blog space.

Urgent! OBAMA Signs Anti-Protest Bill – FREE SPEECH & Protest Will Get You Jail Time

Reblogged from vineoflife.net:

• 

 Posted on March 4, 2013 | SOURCE

The First Amendment to the Constitution prohibits the government from infringing upon the freedom of speech, the freedom of association and the freedom to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Speech is language and other forms of expression; and association and petition connote physical presence in reasonable proximity to those of like mind and to…

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WOW. No words will express my thoughts about this.

Yahoo Trending: Amazon Rape T-Shirts and Pedophile Literature

Yahoo is currently trending an article about a t-shirt that I find disturbing. In the article the UK Amazon allowed a company called, Solid Gold Bomb and its brand to be sold with words promoting rape and sexual violence of women. It seems that more awareness seems to be making rape culture more marketable.

This is my personal concern with my research. I never want to share information that desensitizes people into believing that the behaviors I want to prevent or end should be endorsed. As with copycat crimes and both history and research suggest, anytime you constantly talk about something, people seem to conform their thinking to making the forbidden belief acceptable, even if it is not.

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Rape is rape no matter how it may be used in a word, celebrated on a t-shirt, used in slang or translated from one’s culture and language to another. According to Yahoo the t-shirts say:

“Keep Calm and Knife Her,” “Keep Calm and Choke Her,” and “Keep Calm and Grope On”, “Keep Calm and Hit Her”, “Keep Calm and Rape a Lot” and “Keep Calm and Rape Them”.

While the company credits a computer glitch and has written us a nice statement to save their buttholes, it is safe to say that enough advocates have ripped them a new one in hopes of boycotting their brand, and sending a permanent message that normalizing sexual violence in any form is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Amazon and Pedophiles

In 2010 there was a pedophile named Philip R. Greaves who wrote a book and uploaded it to be sold by Amazon. Once found, there was public outrage and people demanded that Amazon remove the book or threatened that the online retailer would be boycotted.

Amazon did remove the book, but in light of the outrage over these t-shirts I decided to do a quick check for pedophile books on Amazon using some pedophile lingo that I’ve learned in my research. I found books that were written by pedophiles, for pedophiles promoting “Intergenerational Love” for “Minor-Attracted Persons”.

Jay Edson (pen name) is a pedophile who is featured on Amazon’s website as of March 4, 2013

The truth is Amazon does not have people, and processes in place to monitor child sexual abuse, or sexual violence products. They are concerned with allowing the public to make decisions about purchasing products, and do not want to keep children safe. I’m not going to start an online boycott because this article demonstrates their priorities.

Jay Edson whose “real name” is Jim Hunter is not only a pedophile, he has a Master’s Degree in Social Work who worked with pedophiles and mentally ill patients. His novels are based on pedophile relationships, and he has a website, other articles and materials that I’ve been able to ascertain as a promotion of pedophilia.

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In one of his articles he couples homosexuality and pedophilia saying that any or all of these desires are acceptable. In his description of child abuse he says this:

Everyone’s got a different landscape. And that’s a good way for it to be. Their ain’t no gay nor straight nor pedo nor bi, and certainly no normal or abnormal, no more than you can say about an ocean or a continent, this one here is normal, and that one is abnormal. Each person is just his or her own landscape – which like any landscape is a mixture of things.

I am in the middle of writing a book entitled Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children. This topic is necessary and we are going to have to do better than trending articles on Yahoo for a few hours to see pedophile and sexually deviant culture and behavior banned from Amazon.

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. ® which stands for Healer • Educator • Activist • Life Skills Expert • Empowerment Speaker • Relationship Mentor® who writes articles about ending child sexual abuse and homelessness. She is available for radio interviews and speaking engagements at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Pedophiles are Watching Coy Mathis, and Lil Poopy: What these Children have to do with Legalizing Sexual Abuse

I am mortified. I wrote a blog a while back which made some people up in arms about my question whether legalizing same-sex marriage will pave the way for legalizing sex with children.

If you read this article, and the links in them, you’ll understand how Coy Mathis and Lil’ Poopy are being used as demonstrations for future legislation.

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I am not against homosexual people. I do not hate. I am not intimidated by people who choose to make everyone who may not believe that people are born homosexual, homophobic. After a really good conversation with someone today – before writing this article who is homosexual, I want to say that I can not clam everything into one article.

I have a website with over 500 articles. One topic may be specifically on something like this today. And, another day, I may talk about incest which represents 90% of children who experience child sexual abuse. Instead of assuming that you know my entire heart with one article, I encourage you to read more about my stance on ending child sexual abuse.

I did not create the term homosexual pedophile however, I do believe it is important to share information with you that can help you whether you are heterosexual or homosexual, join me in preventing child sexual abuse from being legalized. – Ressurrection Graves

My research is not about homosexual lifestyles rather I raise a significant question:

Will the tolerance of same-sex marriage lead to the legalization of child sexual abuse? Likewise, will the constant media attention desensitize people from noticing child abuse when they see it?

Before you scroll down to answer these questions, I believe it is important to present the reason that these questions is being asked. There are organizations focused on ending rape culture. You will find my contribution to ending the rape culture in hip hop through an article that I wrote about Lil Wayne, Meek Mills, and an over-the-counter drug called S.W.A.G. in an article here.

There are also organizations who are liberating women like One Billion Rising who launched a dance routine around the world and encouraged non-profit organizations ending domestic and sexual violence to join in, upload their own videos and share it so that others can be inspired to break free from the bondage of unhealthy and abusive relationships.

There are also organizations who like my work, want to end child sexual abuse; prevent it and help adults who are healing from their past to lead amazing lives. I have created the term child sexual abuse grooming® and explain its difference briefly here.

I am writing a book that will include more on grooming, and offer Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse®. In the book, I also talk about how I believe sexual discipleship has taken place among some of the country’s leaders, and I will expose some research that I have found on this topic.

Pedophiles are Watching

Coy Mathis is a 6-year-old child who was featured on the Katie Show. I don’t really care for her content so I don’t watch, but yahoo ran a story that caught my daughter’s attention and she forwarded it to me.

Coy is a transgendered child. Born a boy, and now a girl her family has sought media attention to make the school change its policy to allow Coy to go to the girl’s bathroom. Her mother says this:

“The school is really missing out on something big,” Kathryn, a photographer and certified nurse’s assistant, said during the broadcast. “They could be taking the opportunity to teach all of the students that everybody is different and that we should embrace our differences and we should respect everybody. Instead they’re creating this divided environment where they’re showing all these children that a child is different and we’re going to treat them poorly because of it.”

My daughter’s question was, how is this not child abuse? How can parents get into trouble for child abuse if they allow their child to get a tattoo but not get into trouble if their child is transgendered? A transgendered person is someone who identifies as a male if they were born female, or a female who was born male.

This does not mean that any reassignment or reconstructive surgery has been performed, it simply means that a verbal choice has been made to self-identify as a gender other than the one you were born. The real question is, how could a four-year-old child know that they are transgendered?

There is another way. You can legally become a different gender by having a doctor to sign off on documents stating that you have undergone mental medical treatment to determine that this is something that you really want to do.

From a professional perspective, I would question the psychologist that encouraged the parents to identify this child as transgendered. I believe that the doctor should be sued for malpractice. There is not way a child that young can be determined a different gender for the rest of their life. I agree with a commenter who said that the children should be taken from the parents. – all five. Additionally, I wrote an article asking, When are your children too old to bathe with you? In the article I say this:

I am going to answer this question as a mother first, and then I will quote research. As a mother, an auntie, and someone who has been around many children, the answer to this question is when you feel that the child is beginning to explore body parts, or when they are old enough to ask questions about body parts.

When they begin to name body parts, and recognize that you all have different or different sized body parts, this is a good time to teach them about their bodies, and to end shared bathing schedules even if it is convenient.

Another way to know is that you will find yourself wanting to cover up around them. There will be internal sensors there to help you. As I asked this question, and looked for answers on mom websites, I noticed that some people gave different ages, and some of those ages were older than the child in this picture. For me, it is when a child is coming into an awareness of the body, boy or girl.

How does a four-year-old boy know that they want to be a girl? Professionals will tell you that if a child wants to play dress up with girl clothing or wants to do things that are traditionally identified as effeminate things, this does not necessarily mean that they are homosexual or transgender. There could be several things to investigate.

I would want to know concerning this Mathis family, how often Coy plays with the girls. I would ask what kind of conversations are had at home where a child would even know with understanding, the difference between a boy and a girl at that age. And respectfully, how is it possible that when the child is traditionally entering an age of awareness of their body parts, that they all of a sudden don’t want those body parts?

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When I called my mother to ask her about the story, she said that she saw the Katie show and thought that the subject was about letting the little girl go to the bathroom. When I probed more, it was revealed that she thought the child was a hermaphrodite, which means that she was born with both a vagina and penis.

More clearly a hermaphrodite is:

A child who is in an intersexual state is classified in one of three categories: 1) true hermaphrodite – an infant born with both ovaries and testicles and has both male and female sex organs. 2) female pseudohermaphrodite – a genetic female with male external sex organs. 3) male pseudohermaphrodite – a genetic male with external sex organs that fail to develop properly, resulting in female or male/female physical characteristics. – Got Questions

My mother’s question really was more related to, why it would be news to let the child go to the bathroom. She also wondered why the parents did not pick a part (after praying of course), and having tests run of the baby’s internal organs to see if the child was born female, or male.

I had questions and so did others who contacted me about writing this article. First, I want to give you understanding about what a transgender person is. If you click here, you will learn vocabulary terms.

Lil Poopy

Lil Poopy, a poor pseudonym I presume was created to rival Lil’ Bow Wow’s young rapping legacy, whose name was inspired by Snoop Doggy Dogg and the Dog Pound who found him, is a 9-year-old fourth grader who was discovered by French Montana in his father’s home studio.

Allowing a child to touch an adult is child abuse.

The child, was in a video that made references to him being a “Cocaine Cowboy” per his lyrics. In the video you see a typical video hoe or vixen as the entertainment industry has coined women who appear in half-naked clothing and are positioned to make young children experience viral lust through what I would consider soft-porn.

Lil Poopy is from Morocco and part of a group called The Coke Boys. The boy’s father says that the young rapper has “not doing anything wrong,” and that he planned on contacting his lawyer. However,  some people are concerned that the boy’s parents allow him to act out in s*xually suggestive ways while shooting rap videos. – Your Black Word.net

Coy Mathis and Lil Poopy Child Abuse

In my response on the Lil Poopy article I had this to say:

This is child abuse, and I’m glad that someone called. To argue that it is okay for a child to be sexually suggestive and slap a woman on the butt is no different than when a pedophile says that the children they have sex with are sexual beings who have enticed and “asked for” sex. This is why my book coming out this year is so necessary.

I believe that we live in a time where the term, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” is being bullied right out of us. Where people who were homosexual, transgendered and for other reasons were discriminated against and bullied, they now bully the opposing view.

If you do not believe that a person was born a homosexual, you are now called a homophobic person. If you are homophobic, you are also cast with discrimination, hate speech and so on. If I give you the freedom to believe and feel what you do, then I deserve the same freedom.

It is unfair. I do not have to agree with something because it is the majority’s rule. I believe that from a spiritual perspective, I can not share what I see about the times that we live in but I will say this, the entertainment and media industries are creating an opportunity for pedophiles to defend their belief that children are sexual beings who can make decisions about their own sexuality. This is extremely dangerous.

Why are you teaching a child to pretend to be something he’s not? What kind of lesson is this?

Last week it was the story about the child who dressed up as a baby and took photos. You can see my article about that here.  The adoptive mom’s followers tried to bully me for my opinion article there. And, this week it is the 9-year-old boy slapping an adult woman’s behind while his father celebrates his “acting” skills. And, a little boy who tells his parents he wants to be a girl, and they go against the school board who has the right to protect other children from the parent’s personal choices.

This is not about “tolerance” or “liberation”. If so, the parents would understand that theirs is a personal choice and that the other children do not need to make special adjustments for one child. I hope that the school board stands their ground, and I believe that this family and the situation calls for more review.

The children are too young to make life-style choices that would impact their entire lives, especially about sexuality at 4 years old, and I believe that brainwashing has taken place for this child to understand what is going on, and will it be difficult for the child in teenage and adult years.

I believe that allowing these children to be used as demonstrations of sexual beings will prove a climate change in the fight against sexual abuse. You can not stand for everything, and with discernment people need to see past the media angles and incredible marketing to understand that pedophiles are watching.

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. ® which stands for Healer • Educator • Activist • Life Skills Expert • Empowerment Speaker • Relationship Mentor® who writes articles about ending child sexual abuse and homelessness. She is available for radio interviews and speaking engagements at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Pirating Intellectual Property, Copyright Infringement or just bad taste?

Whomever said that stealing someone’s work is flattery is a liar. They are either the person stealing from other people, and in an effort not to draw attention to themselves they have decided not to fight it, or they have no feeling toward it because they have nothing authentic to protect.

While the term, “There’s nothing new under the sun” is true, there are brands created which are so specific that when you hear it, your mind travels to the what you remember about it. All of your senses are engaged in this memory.

“We are watching the landscape,” Cook said. “We like competition, as long as they don’t rip off our IP, and if they do, we’re going to go after anybody that does….We think competition is good; it makes it us all better. But we’re ready to suit up and go against anyone.”

Well, looks like Apple (AAPL) is suiting up, and against a big opponent. This morning, the iPhone maker filed suit against HTC, a Taiwanese handset manufacturer that makes a number of Android smartphones, including the operating system’s marquee device, Google’s Nexus One (Read the suits in their entirety here.)

Apple sued Google, and won. Google delivered their settlement in pennies. Well, that was mature! Alicia Keys is being sued for her hit single “Girl on Fire” by Earl Shurman for using a couplet – whatever that is, in his song, “Hey There Lonely Girl.”

Johnson & Johnson

Many people do not know that one of the Johnson’s from Johnson & Johnson created the very first self-adhesive band-aid. This means that they created the brand – band-aid. They also came up with a single red cross that would be used in symbolize emergency preparedness and first aid. Johnson & Johnson licensed its red cross to The American Red Cross organization to use it. In court many of the claims were dismissed but there was one important part of the suit that was left intact:

The judge left intact only a small part of the suit, which contends that the Red Cross purposefully interfered with Johnson & Johnson’s business relationship with two health care supply companies, Water-Jel Technologies Inc. and First Aid Only Inc. – NY Sun

Identity Crisis: Identity Christ Is

Taking someone’s work is serious. If you did not first think of it, you should not use it, period. I woke up this morning to an invitation to a book signing event that had the name “Identity Christ – Is” in the title. When I was sketching and playing around with book titles, this was exactly how I wrote it. The name of the book that came to me was, “Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is”.

I told two people in a church that I attended, the name of the book. I remember where we were standing, and what we were talking about. These were two separate conversations. One of those people came out with a cd using my book title, and later claimed that he made it up himself.

He appeared confused that I was bringing this up to him after his cd was released. I let him know that this was no revelation from God it came from a conversation that he and I had in or around 2006. I felt betrayed because I told him the book title in confidence. I remember that we were talking about the entertainment industry and he was educating me about the undercurrent of spiritual evil in hip hop.

We began talking about personal projects and I told him in confidence the name of my book title.  It was not something original that he thought of, and it was my mistake for sharing in excitement. Believe me, this mistake has never happened again. Today was the 2nd offense where I was invited to a book signing from someone who I’ve known for eight or nine years. When I saw the name, I was so disappointed and upset. Both of these people are “nice” people. Their personality however has nothing to do with hijacking my work.

All written, photographed or other information on this website is owned by Ressurrection Graves, and cannot be used without expressed written consent.

James Fortune came out with a cd titled, “Identity Crisis” last year. I may not have liked the similarities in our titles however I have seen the phrase, “Identity Crisis” before. I searched for the title of my book before creating it. Identity Crisis was something that was taken, and that is why I prayed for an original title. “Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is” came to me. I searched for it, and did not find it. Not one person had a title, “Identity Christ Is” with any symbol variation or play on words. This is my original.

U.S. Copyright

According to the U.S. copyright office, you can not prevent someone from creating a book title with the same name as yours. They are considered short slogans, however there are titles that you can trademark if you intend to brand them similar to the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” or “Dummies” series. It is however bad taste to steal someone’s ideas, especially from someone who you are in the same business or personal circle with.

Ironically, I was on the phone yesterday speaking with someone about me speaking at an event, and I was discouraged from having any relationship with the person who founded the event that I suggested. The respondents non-gossipy warning was that “there is a lot of integrity to be desired” of ‘that’ person. I had been asked by said person on several occasions to do administrative work such as book plan writing and development, press releases, and other writing that would include my brand knowledge.

After I declined without any compensation the tone of the relationship changed. Over the last six months, several people have mentioned that although this person has the ability to draw a crowd, they steal others’ ideas and implement them into their “non-profit”.

Stealing Money

Equally alarming this morning, I read an article about Michael Winans Jr. which read:

Winans attracted more than 1,000 investors in 2007 and 2008, although he didn’t know them all because many were recruited by others through word of mouth. He promised 100 percent returns in two months, then used the money for personal expenses or to pay off earlier investors. About 600 people are still owed $4.7 million.

Winans, 30, is a third-generation member of one of gospel music’s first families. He’s the grandson of Delores “Mom” Winans and David “Pop” Winans Sr., and the son of Michael Winans Sr., a member of The Winans, a quartet of brothers. His uncle, Marvin Winans, gave the eulogy at Whitney Houston’s funeral. – The Huffington Post

What is not-so ironic about this situation, is that the same church where two of the members have taken my book name, is also the home church of someone who did the same thing to innocent people within the ministry, only they escaped church prosecution and were asked to be forgiven.

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They still served in ministry as leaders. I believe in forgiveness, and I pray that the person learned their lesson, but it will not bring all of those people their homes, college educations for their children, retirement money and otherwise investment portfolio back to them.

While the person did escape church prosecution the feds were not so generous. The woman was put in jail for 29 months, three years additional supervision and ordered to pay back over $34 million dollars. This was a $78 Million mortgage fraud scheme. I am not releasing the name of the church for respect of the pastors although I do not endorse or agree with allowing this woman to continue to serve in ministry.

This same woman was also chosen over me to be on a business committee to start a business ministry within the church. I submitted a proposal and was told that I could be nothing more than the secretary (although my proposal would be used) because I was not as successful as some of the other business leaders in this church.

You mean like, leading everyone to the poor house and teaching them how to wear prison jumpsuits? Or, like teaching people to be parroted and inauthentic stealing my work instead of empowering them to hear from God about their own visions, ideas, trademark brands, and businesses? This is not the will of God. But, I digress.

I remember David Duerson who was a four-time pro-bowler, NFL player with the Chicago Bears, and businessman who made 1/3 of the McDonald’s hamburgers and sausages after leaving his NFL Career. He took his company to $64 Million. The company worked like a well-oiled machine according to Duerson who sat on my massage company’s board of directors before his suicide two years ago.

When one of the manufacturers that he had a contract with did not follow through with plans it ruined his company. He was left with nothing. He took them to court and won, $34 Million. After waiting seven years, the toll of his financial loss coupled with other important life challenges were a difficult armor to bear. The company filed for bankruptcy and although he won the case, he did not see a dime before his life ended.

Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love

Stealing My Name

Dave who I wrote a story on last year is an amazing mentee who has contacted his old colleges, newspapers, the mayor of the city of Alexandria and many other business and political leaders to share his story of overcoming child sexual abuse at home and in foster care. Someone who read his story, an entrepreneur who reached out to him.

The entrepreneur offered Dave a platform to speak in Charlottesville, Virginia and then offered to be his “booking manager” for some outrageous percentage. When they discussed the speaking engagement that this guy is not offering him a dime for, the man looked at my website and said he wanted to name the event, “The Ressurrection of Marko Hamlin”.

Immediately Dave informed this man that my name is Ressurrection Graves, and that it would be inappropriate to name the event with my name in it. Dave has a powerful story and I’m sure that God can give him and this man, a new title that reflects the work that God is doing in him. There are examples of two Dr. Dre’s in the rap world but it’s both confusing and unnecessary. The Dr. Dre that most are familiar with is the one who just came out with the beats.

The other – I’m not sure of what he really does, and remember memory is what matters. I think that he may be a DJ. If my name was “Rev Res” that might be cute actually, but it is still not “Rev Run”. Necole Bitchie is catchy only because it rhymes with Nicole Ritche who is Lionel Ritchie’s daughter. And, while I don’t like that there is another person with the name Necole in the world using it for branding purposes, it exists, and it is her brand. I salute her efforts. She shares an interesting story like mine where she overcame homelessness to decided to follow her business dreams.

Rick Ross (the correctional officer turned rapper) has had to cancel shows because his life has been threatened over him stealing his pseudonym (stage name), and using other people’s names as a part of his image in his songs. Using someone’s name is not a form of flattery, it is stealing. It is alleged that he is using gang logos, acronyms and other distinctive intellectual property that belong to business owners – gangsters or not!

In YouTube videos, gang members warn Ross, 36, that he will end up in a hearse unless he pays tribute for using Larry Hoover’s name in “B.M.F. (Blowing Money Fast).” Hoover, serving life in federal prison, co-founded the Gangster Disciples in Chicago in the late-1960s.

The gang, which has grown to include chapters nationwide, has also accused Ross of coopting its Star of David logo on the cover of his new mixtape “The Black Bar Mitzvah.” – The Smoking Gun

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I am angry and rightfully so. If I started a conference called, “Women Thou Art Loosed Today” you would be alarmed. If I created something that said, “Just Do It Now” you would also be alarmed. You would immediately think of TD Jakes and Nike. It is unacceptable to pirate someone’s intellectual property, ideas, or vision.

I need to be very clear that I work diligently doing what God has called me to do, and I have no problem exercising my legal right to sue anyone who would try to take what I have built and benefit financially from it whether your actions appear intentional or not. In a not-so coincidental posting, I wrote this yesterday on Facebook:

God is big enough to give you your own business dreams, ideas, plans, and visions. You do not have to steal what has come from heaven for someone else. It’s not about “you stole my stuff” in God’s view more than it is, “Why do you feel you have to steal their stuff as if I can’t give you your own?”

Taking from someone else’s dispensation has to do with you missing God for yourself. It is an identity problem, and you are exposing your own weakness. Be authentic and people will be attracted to the place where God lives in YOU! – Ressurrection Graves

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

 

[MEDIA RELEASE] ‘We Found Love’ in a hopeless place: How a Veteran and Entrepreneur crossed paths in a homeless shelter – their wedding celebration and the launch of their non-profit organization to end homelessness with housing in America

WEDDING CELEBRATION: DEVEN AND RESSURRECTION

Ressurrection Graves is a serial entrepreneur and like many Oscar winners (Martin Sheen or Halle Berry), businessmen and women before her, homelessness was the path least desired. This experience has developed and shaped the emergence of their greatness’.

Deven, her husband was a homeless veteran who fell into the cycle of homelessness’ lifestyle which is filled with the rejection, judgment and control of others. As a veteran, and the son of good people who instilled certain strengths in him, his life is dedicated to service – but it’s hard to convey that serving is your life purpose when you’re the one in need.

Then August happened. There was an Earthquake and a Tornado in the Washington DC area the week that lead up to their meeting. It rained. Harvest was on its way. Their eyes met and they have been captivated by the divine intervention of their connection ever since.

Now, they want to use the information and experience that they learned as long-term homeless people to break strongholds over the lives of those who are still seeking escape. Rapha Response Group is a boutique agency offering an alternative shelter solution for homeless individuals seeking transitional housing. Rapha offers a matchmaking service between an individual or family willing to foster hope, healing and temporary housing to homeless teens, veterans, individuals, and families.

Later this year, Ressurrection and Deven will release two books on the subject of overcoming  homelessness.  One book is dedicated to homeless individuals empowering them to overcome the effects that the trauma of homelessness can bring. The other book will be released with the human service worker in mind, to support them in being more effective in their interaction and intervention strategies with the homeless.

Ressurrection, a writer and child sexual expert created Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse a training for professionals, parents and pastors/priests. She created a term called Child Sexual Abuse Grooming® and will explain the difference between this and child grooming in her upcoming book on the subject.

Ressurrection and Deven are preparing for their wedding ceremony which will take place at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington DC. After the ceremony, entrepreneurs from all over the United States who have flown to DC to participate in this joyous Inaugural gala will dance, and celebrate the night away. The tickets sold at the event will cover start-up expenses for their non-profit organization.

Their dream wedding, the gala, and their dream honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil will commence August 28, 2013 – the 50th Anniversary of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speech “I Have a Dream”. The dual anniversary inspired their wedding theme,

“I Had A Dream and It Came True.”

Please join us! We are asking representatives of homeless organizations to attend.

As they continue to rebuild their lives, they are asking for the community to join them in celebrating their love, making a donation to the couple and/or to their life’s work to end child sexual abuse and homelessness.

There are several opportunities to help them as they emerge from their own homeless experiences and empower others to do the same. The events that will support them in moving forward are:

Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child From Sexual Abuse Seminar April 5th, 1pm-3pm

Somebody Say WORD – Open Mic – April 5th, 7pm-11pm

SIGN UP TODAY!

If you are looking for additional ways to support this couple in their new beginning, you may view their wedding gift registry, become a sponsor for their non-profit launch reception, or check out Ressurrection’s book campaign here to pre-order a book and/or take advantage of other perks.

Secrets to Blog Success: How to Build an Audience Who Will See, Subscribe and Share Your Work

Last night, I drove to Manassas, Virginia to be the guest speaker for a literary group called Writing by the Rails founded by Cindy Brookshire. The writing group is composed of authors, aspiring writers, and is a representation of various kinds of writing styles and genres.

It was a privilege to share my expertise on building a blog platform. I am thrilled that my articles have generated activity in 188 countries. I have met some amazing people through this blog space, and have been booked for radio and speaking engagements.

The above picture is exciting feedback from Cindy Brookshire who said that I am a fascinating speaker. The audience members had several questions about blog marketing. In an effort to give you a recap of what I shared, I’m going to provide you with Cindy’s minutes from the meeting.

Cindy Brookshire’s minutes to share with her group Writing by the Rails in Manassas, Virginia

One of the concerns during the evening was, how do you market to your target audience without watering down your work. My advice to the audience member is that you don’t water down your work. People will be attracted to your authenticity and that is how you develop your target audience. Be yourself.

As you writing and business goals grow, you will begin to be shaped by some of those goals, understanding why and how people find you. You’ll naturally learn how to be yourself and attract the audience who will call you, show up for you events, and purchase from your website.

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One other thing that I shared with the audience is that you always want to be the solution to someone’s problem. People buy deodorant because they do not want to smell bad in front of other people. People buy certain books because they help them to be better people, why would they buy something that you have written? If you can figure out what problem you’re solving you also crack the code on supply and demand.

My last tip may be a controversial one. This is a bonus that I did not discuss the other night. I heard one author tell another author to keep writing as many books as they can. They advice was not to wait for one to be successful but to keep writing. I did not interject because the author seemed so confident that I thought she knew something that I did not know.

From a business perspective, I think you get better with time. I certainly have become a better writer since I started blogging several years ago. I do believe you should keep writing, I’m just not-so-sure that I agree you should keep publishing.

In my experience, I wrote my memoir Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love which is available for download here. After writing the book I realized how necessary it was to blog. I had to learn the industry of blogging, and understand through trial and error why certain blog posts did not gain a viral platform. There were certain posts where I am extremely vulnerable.

You can find an example post like my letter to my mother, and brother here and here. I also wrote a letter to my younger self here. They serve different purposes for me. Individuals who are healing from child sexual abuse, homelessness or share in my journey somehow always find those blog posts through a search engine, or a shared source. They are my core followers because there is a connection. They will be the ones who show up to my events, who admire my personal and spiritual growth and who buy my books.

The blog posts which make me popular are usually something that I’ve written from an expert perspective and/or is an Op-ed. This strategy I have learned gives me access to a greater audience, even if they don’t agree with my opinion. Here, here and here are examples of blogs where I wrote an opposing view, and they went viral.

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There will be mean people, or people who just don’t admire your work. You do not want to focus on them, because they are not your target audience. Who is inspired by your work? Find out what makes them read you, comment and share it. I believe that if you use my secrets here, you’ll find some measure of blog success.

Are you:

• a beginner blogger?
• an aspiring blogger?
• someone who has a personal story to share?
• afraid that people will steal your work?
• still wanting to have your questions answered?

If you identify with the above list, and you have additional questions, I offer a 15-minute free consultation. I am available to be reached at: 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

How Do You Come Up With Blog Articles?

Last night I had the pleasure of speaking on the topic of Strategic Blog Marketing. One of the questions presented by one of the audience members, was “how do you come up with blog articles?”

There are several ways to answer this question however I am going to provide you with information that I was not taught anywhere else online. I’m authentic that way.

If you have a free WordPress blog with a paid-for theme, and you check your stats you should be able to see the search terms. On other blogs, or blog websites where you must pay for plug-ins you can get a plug-in for “incoming search terms”.

One way to guide how you choose your blog topics is to see the search terms. You are able to see how people are finding you by what they have put in their search engine. You will know if you do not have any material on the subject of their question. Then, you create new content for the next person searching for the answer!

I want to give you an example. I write on the topic of child sexual abuse. People will often search in questions, phrases or key words to see what articles come up to help them find the answer that they are looking to find.

These are search terms from my website. I often treat them as research opportunities or queries.

I begin to see Lil Wayne in my search engine. People were asking “Was Lil Wayne raped by Baby?” They also put in phrases like, “Lil Wayne rape” or “Lil Wayne sexual abuse”. I even started seeing inappropriate terms like “Lil Wayne penis size” which notified me that this question/phrase came from teenagers. So, I wrote a blog that was geared to teenagers who listen to his music, educating them about sexual abuse. My most recent post tackled the issue of his lyrics and sexual violence.

Before Lil’ Wayne’s search terms started coming through, I had no idea that he was sexually abused. The same type of questions, and phrases have come through for other famous people. I research it, and if I can not find anything substantiating the search term, I will not write about it.

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I recommend that teenagers, lovers of Hip-Hop, and parents of teenagers who love listening to Lil’ Wayne should read the two articles here and here that I have written about him. If you do not fall into these categories, it is possible that you will not like the articles, but they are very informative.

Another population who would like to read these blogs are advocates and professionals who offer healing, prevention, intervention, education and awareness on subjects concerning child sexual abuse, and/or domestic and sexual violence.

TLC has a show called, The Sisterhood. I wrote an Op-ed initially on Tara and Brian Lewis here, where I called out some comments that they made half-hazardly about pornography and pedophilia on the show. My article gained a response, and scored me with exclusive interviews with cast members.

Although they did other interviews, they did not give the same information that they did in my interview. My interviews were the most valuable about the Sisterhood cast members, so it attracted their audience to my website as well. Here is an exclusive interview with Domonique, and you may click on the exclusive interview with Christina Murray here.

How do YOU come up with Blog articles? Please leave your comment below.

Ressurrection Graves is a veteran entrepreneur who writes, speaks and develops strategies to end child sexual abuse, and homelessness. She is a strategic marketing analyst and business development coach. She is available for radio, television and keynote speaking engagements nationwide of by telephone 202.717.7377 (RESS)

What does God say about Common Law Marriage?

¹³ For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not^[a]adjusted and ^[b]adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear].

But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to ^[c]a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently. – 1 Cor 10:13 (AMP)

In an article that I wrote about the process of dating to marriage from a single-christian perspective, I identified what I believe are seven things that are necessary to do in order to prepare yourself, and ultimately marry the person that God put on this earth for you. Is there someone for everyone? I think yes. I believe this with all of my heart.

I also realize that many people do not believe that it is possible, and for this reason there are more than enough opportunities for someone who does believe, to actually cross paths with the right person for them to spend their lives with.

The most controversial part of the Rules of Engagement article was the last myth where I said that it is a myth that someone who is engaged cannot have sex with the mate before their wedding. If you pay very close attention to my words, I said wedding, not marriage. In the article, I illustrated that according to the bible engagement or betrothal is the same as marriage.

We know this to be true because in the bible if you were betrothed, or engaged (same word) you have entered into a covenant, and a contract. In order to release yourself from engagement or betrothal, you must have a writ of divorce. My point in the article was not to tell people to go find someone to be engaged to in order to have pre-marital sex.

My point was to explain that if you are engaged not by today’s standards, but by the standards of the word of God, then you have entered a commitment, and a covenant to marry. I continued that entering into engagement should not be taken lightly. I always recommend that before engagement, you should have counseling sessions.

Some believe Marriage to be an institution while others believe it to be a ministry.

I recommend that men should not surprise their potential bride without you all first having conversations about marrying one another. The romantic way that you propose should be a surprise but the question and answer that you receive should not.

Common Law Marriage

There is a huge myth to dispel concerning marriages. Marriage is a ministry, it is a covenant and a life long commitment that should not be entered into because of feelings of love. You need to examine the heart and character of the person that you want to marry, and most importantly you will want to ask God if this is the person that he has perfectly designed for you. If you are like me, every single time someone says “common law marriage” you think “they must have been together a long time.” According to Mary S. Yamin-Garone 

the idea of common law marriage actually dates back to medieval England. It simply came about due to transportation difficulties and limitations. Clerics and justices who officiated at marriages were not always able to travel to couples in rural locations. In such cases, the couple could establish a marriage by “common law.”

In the past, common law marriage was a geographical issue, and not a conscious choice of two parties. There are many things that I believe we have misinterpreted by using the  phrase common law marriage so easily to identify a couple who has been together for a long time. Common Law Marriage is not biblically authorized for Christians.

There are two important factors to determine that common law marriages are not permitted. One is that someone who in this day and age are calling themselves common law married, do not have the intent to marry. We have always seen this couple as the alternative to wedding.

Someone who says that they are common law married identify themselves as a couple who would prefer not to actually be married rather continue in a cohabited relationship with or without children. God desires us to make choices in life. In fact he has given us free will in order for us to choose our relationship with him.

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People who choose to live their life as a boyfriend/girlfriend but never make a firm commitment, or enter a covenant miss out on the glory that is attached to a heavenly relationship under the divine ordinance of marriage. Either this person is, or is not the one but staying involved with someone without both feet in, or both feet out is indecisive and unfair to yourself and the other person.

You are either missing out on your blessings somewhere else, or you are missing out on your blessings where you are and may not be experiencing your best life. So, what is common law marriage? Common Law Marriage is marriage!

Although it is the alternative and dare I say sinful way to get married from a spiritual perspective, it is indeed marriage. There is a contract that must be signed by you and your spouse in order to submit paperwork to the courts. Some people think that common law marriage is a representation of the time that  you have been together however the truth is, common law marriage is not just a term but a legal process.

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You will enjoy some benefits associated with filling out the paperwork. It is most similar to a civil ceremony, without vows (just paperwork), or a domestic partnership. As a couple pursuing common law marriage you must:

• have been living together for a state determined number of years
• refer to each other as spouses (husband or wife) within your social circles
• prove that you are already doing things that married people do like filing a joint tax return

There are only 14 states and the District of Columbia which still find Common Law Marriage recognizable. So, before you believe the next person who says that they are “common law” married, know that it is being phased out because it was never meant to be a way to marry in the first place.

Although you will fill out paperwork, and must be legally common law married, there are still disadvantages. According to several states and attorney websites, you do not get the full benefits that a married couple does in the event of an emergency or break up.

If you are married and you divorce – which we want to never happen, you have to discuss your possessions and agree on who will have what. You also must determine how you will settle the home and other things regardless of whether one of you or both of you are on the mortgage.

DALLAS, Feb. 18, 2013 /PRNewswire/ – Dallas-based Spencer Law, P.C., has won an important verdict for the estate of a deceased man from Garland, Texas, after jurors denied a woman’s assertion that she was the man’s common law wife, effectively rejecting her claim to half of his assets, which were valued at $500,000.

Dallas estate litigation attorney Kevin Spencer, founder of Spencer Law , won the verdict on behalf of the estate of Eddie Paul Baxter after a woman sued the executor of the estate in the probate case with claims that she was due half ownership of Mr. Baxter’s assets based on the purported common law marriage.

In a common law marriage if you break up, you walk away empty. You may not have any legal rights if the person dies and the family never like you. They can choose to do what they want with your loved one, and leave you out of it. It may be a fight, and one that you may not win. So here is my question to you. Why are you in a relationship so long that you have no idea if you:

• Can trust them with your assets, like you trust them with your body?
• Can trust them with your heart, like you trust them with your personal space?
• Can trust them to lead or support you?
• Can live without them?

Many people say that they do not need to be married. They are broken and disappointed by past relationship failures. The reality is – and I apologize for breaking this to you in an article no less- is that you may not be ready for the relationship of a lifetime. Love requires nakedness. Love is a feeling but first a decision to give way to the experience that you desire to have in this life.

Wedding in Washington DC on the National Mall

Civil Marriage

In the bible, in order for one to be betrothed, there is a contract or signed agreement. If you translate it from that day to this one it is like, choosing each other and making the commitment to be together in marriage. Now, honestly a signed piece of paper as we know, holds up in civil court. “I promise to pay you back $300″ will be heard and acknowledged by a judge in a court case.

My husband and I made the commitment to marry before we married. We were thorough in our conversations and chose to spend the rest of our lives together. It was first a verbal contract. One day he came home and said that he was offered something that would benefit our family, but they wanted us to be married. I offered him an out, and he would not take it saying, “That’s not an option, I do not want to live without you.”

I now truly believe that all of our steps have been ordered by God. In many ways, we could have gotten in our own way had we focused on our past relationships and measured them by what God had given in us. I had always been the woman who was like, “justice of the peace?” Absolutely not. For me personally, going to the justice of the peace, or having a small ceremony was like going to McDonald’s.

But, as I found when researching the word for the Rules of Engagement article, God doesn’t see it this way, so why do we? I had this perception because of how many failed marriages come from civil marriages too, I wanted the experience of having a wedding dress and celebrating with friends. While the dress may be tradition, God turned water into wine at a wedding celebration.

He does recognize and authorize a wedding and reception. My husband and I have kept our larger wedding plans however we had a small private ceremony. We had a man who could ironically pass for Santa Claus read a significant set of verses in the bible. We recited them looking into each other’s eyes almost uncomfortable but happy that there were a few others there to celebrate our joy.

I should add that my husband and I have attended 8 weeks of marriage counseling and I believe that it has been marriage-saving wisdom derived from those sessions which teach us how to handle situations that arise. We enjoy the full benefits of being married. We are best friends. The moral to this story is that if you know that the person you are dating is the one, why purposely sin?

The Personifications of God.

Even if you don’t know Jesus. If you know that they are the one, why not get married in case you realize later that Jesus is pretty cool and you’d like to grow a closer relationship? I’m using “Jesus” as an example for Christians who are looking for answers however we have seen in constant studies that marriage is like the fountain of youth when you are married to the right person. It promotes healthy living, it brings life and joy. You can’t make this happen but you can invite it.

If you are in a relationship and you are:

• trying to figure out whether you should get “common law” married
• trying to decide whether you should get a civil ceremony
• trying to decide if you should stop co-habitation with your boyfriend/girlfriend
• trying to figure out how to have a closer relationship with God and keep him/her

You are at a turning point in your relationship regardless of the choice that you make from this point on. I am a relationship mentor. I support individuals and families in making spiritual decisions about their relationships. You can call me if:

• You have questions about your feelings
• You have questions about how to end your relationship
• You have questions about how to communicate your needs
• You have questions about healing from your past

I believe that common law marriage is for individuals who are not sure if they are with the person that they believe is the one. The initial criteria is the length of your relationship. The next criteria is that you have the “intent to marry”. And, for many people, this is just not true.

There are many people willing to be in relationships for fear of change; complacency. Many people ride on the length of time that they have been together. I am blessed now, but there are some things that even I learned along my journey which may now benefit you. If you really answers, and want to attract the one for you, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Ressurrection Graves is a pastoral counselor and relationship mentor. She supports both the abused and the homeless in their healing and personal growth processes. She offers 15 minute free consultation counseling sessions, and offers individual and couple’s counseling using biblical principles. For your 15 minute session please click here.