Have you ever had a breakup that left you feeling like there was no closure? Most men don’t feel this way. They move on like the wind, but women typically want to be heard, understood and to feel like there is closure. Sometimes there are no words to say at the end of a relationship. Sometimes I believe, if you say nothing, it could be the best way to walk away. After people have time to think, they either want to recant the decision or realize that the best decision was made.
What happens when you have that, “I miss you” feeling I’ve wondered. What does that mean exactly? Does that mean that you really miss the person or that you miss the companionship? Does it mean that you love the person and the feeling of missing them is an epiphany of your heart’s true desire? Or, does it mean that you are longing for the good feelings of the physical connection that you all have shared?
Well, since I miss someone right now, I thought that it was the perfect time to have this conversation. When you are in a relationship and the person does not miss you, the assumption is that they may not care about you. But, what happens when the relationship is over? As I conducted some research on the topic, I noticed that most people had these “I miss you” feelings were in relationships that lasted for years. So, what is my excuse? I want to put a twist on this. Do you miss the dysfunction?
When we grow up in families that always have some kind of dysfunctional relationship between family members we are used to the energy in the room. For many people who engage in relationships with their family, they carry this same style of communication into their romantic relationships, only to find out that romantic relationships are a bit more personal and not everyone can handle the nonsense. While I am an advocate for peaceful relationships, I also remember some of the discovery that I discuss in my memoir, Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey to Love
The way that my siblings treat me is as follows: They get upset with me, talk about me to each other behind my back, decide when they are over it, and carry on as if nothing happened. I am the communicator, I am upfront and confrontational. Sometimes people assume that confrontational means that you are upset or rude but confrontational really means that you are willing to deal with the issue head on and find a resolution. In my family they scream or ignore, so it is really hard for me in relationships to communicate this way. I cannot stand for a man to raise his voice at me, and I absolutely hate to be ignored.
How does this tie into the “I miss you” feeling? It could be that I simply feel ignored. I am used to guys recognizing that I am a good person and desiring to connect with me, so when you act like I am not valuable, I have questions. Pimps and Hoes, use this to their advantage when in relationships with others. They purposely act mean or treat people with little respect, courtesy and love because the word on the street is that your partner will keep coming back when you are mean to them. I will reframe from delving into this topic and save it for a later date.
In talking about the “I miss you” feeling, I think the key is to remember that it is a feeling. We walk by the spirit, and if your feelings are a result of a spiritual truth there will be more than just the feeling that will come over you. I say this to you, as I say to myself, Love is an action word. Remember to look for the activity of the heart and spirit to find out if your feeling is just a fleeting emotion or a spiritual awakening worthy of attention. If your significant other is not moved to contact you, or does not respond when you reach out to them, perhaps your feelings are rooted in how you communicate with others, your desire for a relationship or some other self-motivated reason.
If they are the one, you will know but likely when break-ups happen it is because someone or both parties are not compatible holistically or ready for the same kind of relationship.