Have you ever met a man who said that every woman that he dates is crazy? Whenever I here that I think, “He’s ego trippin.” He wants me to know that his sex is the bomb, and drives women wild. However, there is a whole other side to that mantra. He’s a selfish person with no consideration and respect for the person that he’s in relationship with.
Unfortunately, as detailed in my book, Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey to Love I mention a few crazies of my own but by no means is every man that I date crazy. I am used to sweet, kind, loving, affectionate, providers who have integrity and vision. Every so often, I fall off and go get a crazy one.
The question in the article is, Are women really crazy? My answer is, No. If every woman that you date is “crazy” by your admission then you are clearly doing something to both attract and insight undesirable behaviors.
When you are dating someone who says, I love you, but does not call you, stands you up, does not treat you like the woman that you are and all of his actions are opposite of love, at first it can be confusing. For most men, I would walk away but I have stayed atleast twice.
In the book, I call these men Cobie. They think they have game but actually it is no secret that they are selfish, dependent on their own sexual skills to fill them with confidence and your response to being treated like dirt is their way of feeling good about themselves. That my friend, is crazy.
What is even more profound is to have a woman that you say is beautiful, intelligent, smart, sexy and someone that you would love to grow and build with to then sabotage it with your insecurities and selfishness. I have heard some men say that they “test” women to see if they will act crazy if they don’t do this or that. Well, that is crazy to me. You purposely treat her less valuable than she is to see if you get a rise out of her, and then if you do it confirms your suspicions that she cares about you, and then you assume that she is crazy. If that isn’t some twisted nonsense, I don’t know what is.
Men, if you’re ready to get out of the game and you find someone beautiful, you can’t treat her as you did the other ones. Now, for you it could be that you feel you do treat her different, after all you don’t curse at her or call her a b*itch. You may have tried one or two new things. I had a guy tell me that he never had to take a woman out on a date.
What am I saying here? If you find a woman like me who possesses intelligence, you can’t trick her with words, she can see right through you whether she communicates it or not. If you have made a decision to be with one woman, you have to admit that you don’t know what it is to have a relationship and be open to changes. When you decide to stop playing the field, you have to engage in a relationship. You can’t ask for a relationship if you’re still treating the woman as a booty call and expect to hold her attention, even if she develops feelings for you.
Women are not crazy and by saying so, you are really saying something about yourself and your ability to have a relationship. The truth is, even if you are attracting women who are really crazy with every man that they are with, you attracted them and you have to figure out why you did so.
On the other hand, if you meet a woman that is amazing and she tells you how she likes to be treated but you treat her like dirt, she is not crazy for responding to your craziness with frustration. If you really want the relationship, it can work providing that you have a desire to change. But anybody would be mad if you stand them up, ignore phone calls, and only talk to them when you want to. Relationships are such because they involve two people. If you’re not walking in integrity and she can’t depend on you for a phone call then you’re not even being a good friend.
Ladies, we want to treat all men like Kings don’t we? At least I do. It actually turns me on to treat my man like a King but just like men judge us and separate the women from the B*tches as they call them, we do the same. Their either men or street n*ggas.
Personally, I may attract them because I like the reformed gangsta. The key word is reformed. If you can’t treat me like a queen, and you aren’t saved from the life, I am not interested. I like a man with alittle edge but ignoring me and only being available when you want what you want is selfish and childish.
Many men are insecure and many of them internalize things. They won’t get good advice, especially if they only talk to men with the same mentality over a jay (joint). Men, if you really want love deep down, your issue will not be getting a woman, it’s keeping her. Understand that a real woman knows how she should be treated and wants to give you all of her, but she will not do it if she finds that you are selfish and insecure.
The measure of a real man is keeping one woman happy. And, contrary to your belief having a good man who is faithful, generous and kind does make us happy. It is attainable but you have to be mature enough to want it and pursue this joy with someone. The most powerful and beautiful thing that I have ever seen is a black man with a functional, blessed and healthy family.