Ressurrection’s Birthday Dinner

One thing is for sure, it’s hard to handle the schedules of everyone that you want to be in one place, all at one time. This year, I opted for a party but the plans folded when the venue began to have amnesia, so we had a sit down dinner at Mike’s American Grill in Springfield, Virginia.

Just a few of us

The food on the menu is so good. I had the Grilled Salmon and some stolen Caesar salad from a neighboring plate. I also had the Spinach Artichoke Dip which is a favorite of mine. Mike’s is a nice place, a big place that can accommodate parties, however, I felt like their “call ahead at 6pm” really failed. We waited a long time to get in and they did not honor the reservation that I made a week ago. Regardless of how they do things, it was very obvious that they were frustrated with me although I maintained a polite demeanor, I mean I could surely take my party and our money somewhere else.

This was my second time there in a month! I expected amazing but it was just good. Sometimes good is alright though. You need a medium to create balance and Mike’s was clearly the medium tonight.

I met up with some friends that I had when I was running around with a basketball and beating up boys. She shared this funny story about me asking a teacher if she had diarrhea because the teacher kept going back and forth to the bathroom from a PTA meeting. It’s funny how two people can have memories from different experiences. I remember this vaguely only as she repeated the story there was a thin film that covered my eyelids,  it was so funny! She really got me tonight.

I had my friends Nicki Sanders of The Teen Toolbox in the house, and a few other close friends. My niece however kinda took the cake tonight. We laughed alot and we did a lot of air high fives. I ALWAYS have a co-ed party. I mean, who wants a party without men? Men are beautiful quite frankly, but tonight seemed like a girl’s night out. It wasn’t planned but then again every year that I have a get together, I never fully plan anything. I like to see how things will unfold on their own. True to my desires this year, I allowed things to flow.

Every year as a custom of my birthday because it is the last day of the year, I ask people what they have learned, kind of like a year in review. For the first time ever, I did not want it to be my turn. It was like I had incomplete thoughts, and it made me question whether I had learned anything at all. After all, 2010 was by comparison just as unclear as 2009. It’s not like me to have two horrible years but lawd ha mercy!

As the question was passed around, I figured out what the heaviness was in the room. Everyone was unconsciously blown that only women showed up. I certainly did not ask this and I am just speculating but the conversation immediately turned to the fact that some had learned not to compromise their standards, some felt that they were the target of men with infidelity issues, one friend pointed out the imperfection in us all and that this year was about learning how to accept the opinions, strengths, thoughts and functions of her partner, while a few of us were just saying that we are ready for that Mr. Right.

Just a few of us

My Birthday

Of course, being the birthday woman of the hour when I mentioned something about the fact that I feel that I have such an exhaustive list that I haven’t met anyone to date who fits my criteria, I was asked if I would date someone 5 feet tall! And what did I say you ask? It was like someone slapped me, my answer was so immediate the whole table laughed.

So what do I want for my birthday? You know what it is… I am not looking for perfection but I want a healthy relationship with someone who can make me laugh out of my panties…oh wait did I say that? Okay, wait, laugh so hard I could cry, and who loves God, has a genuine respect and admiration for me, has a provider mentality, and can see themselves being my best friend! I would like him to be totally and completely interested in Ressurrection. He may not normally read but because I am a writer, he may read some of my work. Haven’t you seen Brown-Sugar? The guy that won her heart is not the one with the biggest rock, it was the one that read her column, and who was her friend. I am not going to lie, I do however like a nice quality 3 carat rock, but if I were going to marry for money, desperation or even fear, I would have done that a long time ago. I’m holding out for the big one.

Now you know that what I listed above is not all on the list, and no one knows what your soul or spiritual mate will come packaged with, but what I want for my birthday is him….whomever “him” is! I figure if I say it, at least one of you reading this will stand in agreement. Enough is enough! I want someone to make funny memories with, let’s go climb a mountain (we really DON’T have to do that), or Snorkle or even Hang glide? Honestly I have always wanted to snorkle, hang glide, and jet ski…and ride the whales but that may sound weird to people who don’t love whales as I do. It was a love affair that started around third grade, but I digress. It would be nice to have someone to get snowed in with, who can cook a little bit or at least heat up the leftovers that I cook would be nice 🙂

You ever feel like you’re saving all the really important moments for the special one?  Some people don’t have this wish, but having this wish doesn’t make me or the ladies at the table desperate or less than anything, in fact I think it’s powerful to know where you want to be in life because then you can attract the right energy to you. No more wanksters! Are we still using that slang word?

There is a difference between standards which I refer to as non-negotiables and wants. I want him to be 6’2 but I can handle it if he’s not! I want him to be chocolate but I think Rick Foxx, Brad Pitt, and Tony Parker are all beautiful!  I don’t think God would give you someone who you are not completely attracted to. We changed physically so I am flexible on the body but you have to be able to look at your partner, and walk with them down the street.

So… you know what I wish… bring on the referrals!

The comment that I made in response to the pursuit of happiness within the realm of having a companion, was that in order to be healthy in a relationship, I had to eliminate toxic family relationships that were not the best for me. I stopped making excuses for keeping relationships that I knew I would not want to take into my future.

Thank you to all of the ladies who joined me for my birthday dinner. You are beautiful and may all that you wish for 2011 that is good for you show up!

And… for Nicki Sanders who said that she learned that there is more, I command for us to go deeper this year to come. Let doors be opened, let us have the wisdom and clarity to walk through them. Let our territories be enlarged, and let us see manifestation of what we have been believing, and expecting for!

P.S. God please go beyond my thoughts, expectations and vision. Do what you will, but please make it so good that people will stop and just say, “Look at GOD”.

I have more to say about this year…a few more days until my birthday so hold tight and keep reading and supporting the blog posts!!! I tell you it is not in vain. Leave a comment if you feel so compelled 🙂

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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