One would imagine that loving my family is an easy task. They are my family, however, the youngest of 5 with siblings who are 12-16 years older than I, I feel ostracized and disconnected from the idea that I am even part of a family.
My sister saw my daughter and me talking the other day in the parking lot behind her house and she waved. Out of respect, I waved back. She came to the car and expressed her disappointment (with a smile) that we did not attend her wedding. She showed me her diamond ring, and I complimented her husband saying “Good Job”. I am actually very proud of her and I am glad that she married him. But if I were to attend the wedding, I would condone the family issues that still preside over us. Looking away and ignoring the obvious is not going to solve the problem.
My sister’s pattern for dealing with issues are to, have an issue, either be mean or silent, hold her silence for as long as she wants, and then when she feels better, we should all feel better and pretend that nothing happened. My entire family does this. I am the only one that does not. It is controlling and manipulative and as a communicator, and a person desiring to have positive healthy relationships, we need to have a conversation about what happened and then pitch it.
When I do confront my sister about things, she doesn’t admit her issue. My sister after sharing her ring with me and disappointment about the wedding invited me to her house to celebrate Christmas Eve.