11 Questions about SEX that you should ask – part two

Let’s continue…

4. Are you willing to compromise? We all have relationship non-negotiables. Compromise is a word that sometimes makes women feel degraded or voiceless. When women compromise many times it is for the good or happiness of someone else but their choices lay on their chest like an undigested meal. There are women who are unwilling to do certain acts or positions with her husband and likewise. If he wants to eventually see you and another woman together you should not wait until you think that you are in love to find that out. Ask him about his take on monogamy. Find out what “compromise” means. If it is something that is not a non-negotiable go for it, but if it is something that you spiritually or morally feel violated if you entertain then you should remember my favorite Maya Angelou quote: “When people show you who they are believe them.” There bedroom desires don’t need to be judged by you in a deity manner, they just need to be discussed so that you can determine if this person is more of what you desire in a mate or whether you feel strongly enough about the indifference to dissolve the relationship.

5. How important is intimacy to you? For men, often times intimacy means sex while intimacy for a women could mean the way he touches her or looks at her. It could mean walking down the street holding hands, kissing her eyelids. This is quite an intimate question but you need to know how important developing intimacy in the relationship is to him or her.

6. Do you like to get it in, and then get it out? Jokingly and pun intended my question is gauged toward men here but equally comparable to ask women. Your ability to communicate the importance of foreplay, romance, and making love is critical to a successful relationship. Every relationship could use a quickie in the morning before work or the children come banging or bursting through the door (if you keep your door unlocked). That is not exactly what I am talking about. How long can your mate go on average? This is not a test or physical ability because that may possibly adjust over time and if you are committed to that person that can not be an excuse to leave. What you do want to know is their desire, and their preferred length of time. If she wants an hour and you want all night, there is a problem. This problem can happen both ways. We can exercise and be in great condition but if the person doesn’t see love making the same way that you do, and perhaps you want a length of time that they are unwilling to give or do not have the desire to give, you will always come up short, literally.

7. Will you work on our sex life? Personally, I want to do couple’s Yoga. Just the thought of this excites me. I want to go on couple’s centered retreats that help us to focus away from children, life, business, finances and be completely submerged in each other. Will we get to do this all of the time? No, but as much as I like spontaneous activity, I love something to look forward to. In my opinion, it is important for you to create a healthy sexual relationship and equally important that you keep it. Nothing has to be wrong for you to go and engage in retreats and classes, and romantic hotel evenings together. I will think that making this apart of your normal behavior would keep the life exciting. However, what if someone is awry? What if you or your mate doesn’t seem to have the same passion and excitement in the bedroom? Well my advice is to try a park. Seriously, in evaluating your potential mate you need to ask if they would be open to maintaining a healthy sex life. Find out what that even means to them and then you may discover some new things about what it means to you. There is nothing worse than pride in the bedroom. Well, maybe there could be something worse but the mere thought of that overshadows any ideas that I have to contribute to this article.

*The questions just keep getting better, part three is on the way! Subscribe, leave a comment, and click share!



About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com
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