Should you tell if you saw someone’s mate cheating?

A few year’s back, I saw someone that I knew who attended church with me on a lunch date with someone else who was not his wife. She didn’t even look like his wife, they were like night and day. I walked by and it looked like he saw a ghost, but it was me.

He was leaned half-way over the table laughing and joking as if they were very comfortable with each other and they were playing with each other’s hands. He was gazing into her eyes, that is, until he saw me.

He stood up and started stuttering as he came over to try to introduce me to his “co-worker”. I was annoyed that I was being treated like an idiot and I ignored both of them and kept going. I saw his wife in church every Sunday for the next few years. I felt extremely uncomfortable, to the point that I stopped speaking to her because I didn’t want to get closer to her knowing that I knew this secret.

I did not want to be in the middle of it, but if it was me I would have wanted to know. In this situation, I don’t know that they are still together but my assumption is that if he was that bold to cheat right in the middle of Ballston mall, assuming that no church members live, work or play in Virginia, then he would continue his behaviors until he was caught.

We always say that women have intuition. We know when something isn’t right, even if we don’t know exactly what it is. I know when something isn’t right, and freaky enough, I usually know with whom. God has literally given me phone numbers and when I called them, he was with her. It scared him to death. This was years ago but God has a way of taking care of me, personally. He has told me things, and when I ask certain questions the person may have been confused as to how I “know”.

Thank GOD, I haven’t dealt with a lot of cheating, but cheating none-the-less. Women cheating has nothing to do with you, at least not me. We are all adults and we choose our paths. Cheating is a sign of immaturity. Instead of taking care of issues, until they are resolved at home, you try to replace it. Some guys have it perfect at home and just do it because they lack self-discipline and headship of the family.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the question is not a new one. If you were the woman in the scenario that I posed in the beginning of this blog, would you have wanted me to tell you?

As women, I think that you should know that men will always tell, if they consider your man their friend. Men do not hold grudges with each other, period. Men talk about you as much as women talk about men.

If this was a really close friend, I would have said something. Keep in mind, that I have lost a few friends by doing this, but I feel like they weren’t true friends anyway so there is really no love loss.

If you are truly friends then whether it’s an eye booger, a bad outfit, or your man cheating there should be no real embarrassment. Your real friend will be your get-a-way driver.

Let’s Talk: Did I handle this the right way?

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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