Does your Mother control you? Part Two

While we were talking I mentioned that in my relationship with Cobie, we had an issue with my mom who had put her input where it was not asked. And then I realized that much of my thoughts and expectation of such perfection came from the subconscious mindset of my mom. I love my mom but it is not her place to tell me what I should like in a man.

Recently she told me that I needed a christian man who goes to church. I said, “don’t tell me what I should have. There are christian men who treat their women like dirt, who molest little children don’t pay their bills or take care of home. I think I need to ask for something a little deeper than that.” I feel that strongly now because I am detached but when I was with my ex I wanted him to attend church with me and do things that honestly he was not spiritually enthusiastic to do.

There was heavy influence from moms about what he should be doing. He was not the right person for me. He has no character in my experience with him and I do not blame my mother in any way for the breakup but honestly, him going to church did not have to be a deciding factor. He actually enjoyed it.

My mother is not allowed to breathe down my throat but in this situation she did because she was right about him not being a good man and I kind of felt bad about that.

Even deeper though was the voice of my mother who doesn’t like anyone that I bring home unless he appears to be financially stable.

I remember bringing someone home who lied and told me he was a Christian though he was actually Muslim but he was fine and I told her he had a good job. What happened to hearing from Jesus?

I love my mother with all my heart and she has an incredible sixth sense: discernment, but that doesn’t mean she has ever used it concerning men. She didn’t date after my dad but her children have.

Any who, remember to be true to your best life by seeking God in making decisions with matters of the heart.

And check yourself in your mind. There is nothing wrong with maintaining a certain standard that u have been taught as family values but you are the one in your relationship and momma doesn’t get marry your man. She also doesn’t get to determine what behaviors in the relationship you should work with or how you should handle them. Unless there is abuse, momma should fall back and pray not against your relationship as my mother informed me of my ex-fiance and I but on your behalf.

Honor your parents but check them if you have to in love.


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About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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