For many of you who have followed this blog, and are familiar with my story, you understand that I have endured some hardships in business that put me in a place of being homeless. As a result of this situation, my daughter and I have had to make adjustments physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually to deal with our circumstances.
People who know me personally have given me accolades on the way that I am raising my daughter, citing that many children who have parents that are in economically difficult situations, or who are even homeless stray from the direction and guidance of their parents.
Today, I want to share with you some tips that I have used to grow my daughter and my relationship in spite of what our circumstances may look like. Please feel free to use these examples as you find them applicable to your own motherhood, or fatherhood.
1. Trust- You have to develop a level of trust for your children as much as they do, you. You must establish that trust by giving them special tasks in which they may make errors. Instead of screaming or losing immediate trust give them an opportunity to regain your trust and your respect, especially if it is something really small. I can’t tell you how many parents I have seen scream at the top of their lungs when there child spills milk on the floor. It is a mistake, teach them again and next time make sure they are not on the carpet with it, or walking around with it.
For example, I don’t check my daughter’s cell phone text messages, not because I don’t want to but because I told her that I would trust her to walk in virtue and her true value. I have taught her what her true value is based on the word of God. In exchange, my daughter tells me what she describes as “everything”. I know that she doesn’t tell me everything, but she does tell me enough so that I am able to determine what kinds of choices she is making. Since she volunteers this information, she has also made it very clear that she is open to my opinion and thoughts or wisdom and advice on matters.
Trust is extremely important and your children must be taught about trust. When you teach them about trust they understand how important it is that they gain yours. They will respect you as their parent and desire a trustworthy connection with you.
Do you remember the episode of The Cosby Show where Theo came home and a “joint” fell out of his book? Theo said that he did not do it. His parents, Cliff and Claire Huxtable (Bill Cosby and Phylicia Rashad) made it clear that they believed him and were satisfied with his truth. Theo went to school, confronted the dude that put the joint inside of the book, and made him come to his parents house and fess up. He did not go to the school. He did not go to the police, because it was his relationship with his parents that meant the most to him. He wanted to set the record straight so that he and his relationship with his parents would not be divided in any way or affected by this situation.
When children understand that you truly love them, and they are taught how to have a loyal, trustworthy relationship with others, including you, you can trust that they will volunteer information.
Just as you want them to be mature, you also have to be at a place of maturity as a parent to hear what they are going to share with you.
- Where’s Dad? (henrydelworth.wordpress.com)
- Parenting Solutions: Bullied (education.com)
- Greek parents giving up their children (bbc.co.uk)
- ‘Real Housewives’ Melissa Gorga has Strict Parenting Techniques (celebs.gather.com)
- FREE: How to UNspoil your child FAST – e-book download (couponingintherealworld.com)
- Bullying and the Special Needs Child (education.com)
- The Importance of Early Childhood Attachment (examiner.com)
- Am I Equal To A Child? (rhiannonfox.wordpress.com)
- Parenting, From A Child’s Perspective (watchingauras.wordpress.com)
- Greece so poor families are abandoning their children (mirror.co.uk)