Teenager talks openly about Sex and Peer Pressure

I am a Fourteen year old black female who has decided to start doing a weekly topic of discussion; this will display my views and allow you to respond. Today I’d just like to express how I feel on a very simple but yet serious topic for teenagers which is Sex. Many of my fellow friends and acquaintances often come to me with the question “What do I do and what do I say if it’s mentioned in our relationship?”

Peer Discussion

Well just recently I’ve had a friend , who has a boyfriend of several months that she loves, ask me my belief on the matter and I simply told her that I wasn’t going to beat her over the head with statistics but they are still significant. I also shared with her, her value and that your virginity is something that when taken you can’t ever get it back. After having about a 20 minute conversation with her she began to tell me her main worry was just getting pregnant. In my head I was thinking “Oh My God” She has skipped over the life threatening diseases that she could get.

I was still glad she realized that was also a possibility. Later on that day when I got home I sent her a text message just asking her what is her purpose and why did she feel like that was necessary to make her relationship complete ? She replied by saying at this point both of them were ready and felt like that’s just something they wanted to do . At the end of the message she made a note saying that no final decisions have been made and it was just a thought in conversation. Well I was excited to hear that it was just a thought and no decisions had been made but in this situation the main question that I have is you all have been on and off for a year who’s to say that after he “gets some” he won’t say Ok! I’m done with you.

Even though everybody says that sex and the possibility that the relationship will not last, is something you need to be cautious about maybe you should analyze and see what it is that they are talking about.  In closing I just shared with her how much I loved her and at the end of the day we are friends and I support her in any decision she makes even if I don’t agree with it.

Parental Advice

My mother has done a great job with instilling my worth and value in me. I’ve also been asked several times to take part in intercourse but I made the final decision by saying no. Many parents don’t take the time to sit with their children and tell them their worth and the importance of keeping hold of their virginity. The most I’ve heard from my peers is their parents telling them to just say no!


Well the issue with that is we are adolescent teens so we need explanations and people who we can connect with. Many of them just refer to the closest friend they may have but the problem in with that is that many of my peer have gone through the same situation and come out or is experiencing the same situation.

So, they probably aren’t able to give me the full advice I may need to make the right and positive decision. Personally I’d rather have someone who has been through the situation many times over and is living in a society (“The real world”) where this is a daily topic of discussion so she knows how to say no! For me that person is my mother; the one who has instilled very positive behaviors and to this day has been a living example for me, as how to be a woman of virtue. So I say all this to stress the importance of communication with elders and your virginity is something you can only have once so whoever the lucky person is to get it make sure it is someone you’ve considered to be with or produce children with.

Dae’Jah Cymone, Teen Contributor

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com
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