Are you paying love attention in the right place?

For most women love is this highly anticipated but seemingly unattainable part of life. From the five love languages with author Gary Chapman we have learned that love has its own language in relationships.

We as women often spend so much time assuming the thoughts, visions and intentions of men that we compromise our opinions with the manipulating intent of changing their minds into ours. What happens instead is that you conform to all of the things that make you unhappy. Think about it for a moment.

When women realize that it is not about him, it is about you and follow my borrowed philosophy from Dr. Maya Angelou and say “When they should you who they are, believe them”, you will stop having internal conflicts about one’s actions or true feelings toward you.

You should take the time to figure out how you examine and receive love. You must be flexible in how you give it too. Read the Five Love Languages (again) for more details.

I talk a lot about relationships and the mind-set of women in a section of my book, Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey to Love.

There is an important message I want to remind you of today. It (your relationship) should not be determined by your vision for the other person. There are a lot of specific, personal details that I have prayed for. There are things that I know God will give me in a relationship because I know who I am, and I know that God is thorough, and gives what we want and need.

There are however a few things that I was meticulous in my conversation with God regarding a relationship. I finally understood the dynamics of human and supernatural contribution. I am a giver in my relationships, not to be mistaken with being a sucker.

As “they” say, I am sucka-free! I am however emotionally, spiritually and physically connected in a healthy way, to all of the relationships to which I am privileged.

As I mentioned, I am a giver and I asked God for clarity of characteristics that would indicate that I have located a good candidate or possibly the one. Most men you come in contact with are not givers. They may give money, but that doesn’t make you special, it just means they don’t care about money for example. I am talking about giving of the time, resources, love and energy when it may change their routine or stretch their comfort level.

I am easy-going, flexible and chill about everything. I know the one for me possesses qualities that add to my peacefulness at home.

I am giving you food for thought. Are you focusing on the right things in your requests? Are you committed to identifying those qualities in people as you meet men who possess them?

Love is as beautiful, sufficient, breath-taking, life-saving, value adding, God-being as you allow it to be.

Are you ready to be honest about who you are, so you can know what to look for?

Most of life is not about right and wrong. In my opinion, much of it is about simplicity and balance.

We’ll be talking about love and relationships of and on, as I am writing the sequel to my memoir. Have you purchased a copy yet? It’s everywhere online or contact me.

I can’t give it away but there will be hints and clues of how God has brought me through this journey to love.

P.S. I hear from readers that the first book has lots of nuggets that have helped them in their relationships. Get it today!



About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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1 Response to Are you paying love attention in the right place?

  1. Pingback: Love is Breathtaking | The Official BLOG site of Ressurrection Graves

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