Have you ever been in a relationship where something went wrong in the first few months, but you relied on the response of the man or significant other to determine whether true love or feelings exist?
Have you ever been in a relationship where when something came up as a red flag you dismissed it, giving chances to your brand new beau, or girlfriend?
I have been in those relationships where red flags have knocked me down, slapped me sideways and screamed with angst for me to run, yet I found some unnecessary excuse to stay, of course only a select few got past this line. But it’s always the ones you’re lenient with that tear up your whole life.
In putting the pieces back together, I have found a beautiful love story, with no ending and apparently no beginning since we can’t remember when we started dating. For the past year and at least a half, I have been saying that God is outside of time. I have been repeating this beautiful revelation shared by the guy that sings, “I Give Myself Away”, William McDowell who visited a church in Maryland on the eve of my birthday!
And this relationship does remind me of such. When we think that everything must follow our time line, and our season, we must be reminded of our true place in this world. We are just visiting here and there is a further destination. We are spiritual beings first and the spirit realm is not caught up in the days that we plan or the love that we recommend. God knows his best for us, and he knows how to be spontaneous and the true Knight and shining Armor.
My whole journey between my last love and this one has been very personal in that I am examining fear. Fear and Love can not co-exist. I’m writing in depth on this topic from a very candid view in my sequel memoir to Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey to Love!
All I can say is that the freedom in love that has joined me for this glory in life is indescribable. I thought sin was liberating, but it ain’t got nothing on Holy. When you come to a place where you are not affected by the eyebrows, thoughts and mouthpieces of those around you, and you truly experience fruit from your decisions, it is sweet like a perfect Mango, a Pineapple in it’s ripeness. There’s nothing like a Watermelon to share with loved ones in it’s most sweet perfection.
No one can tell you how to be loved, only knowing your true self will do that. And no one can bring you love but God because that’s who he is.
I believe Love is a spiritual experience that is GOD! God is love so love is the intangible making a mark. Love is a choice because God is a choice. He loves us so much that he gave us the ability to choose him. I believe the greatest counterfeit the devil ever came up with is love. He brings people that align with our emotions in whatever season we are in, and if we are not careful and focused our negotiations begin.
In all honesty, I’ve compromised nothing it seems. I am happy, and blessed and overwhelmed at the ability to give whatever I can into a relationship that is my first. He says that their are a lot of firsts with me. But for me, he is my first real man. A real man is not measured by materialism, paychecks or perishables. A real man’s character will speak for him.
I have written poems about feelings and emotions that overwhelm me by a man. I am good with words and gaining the attention and affection of the audience while I describe a moment because that is what I do. But, in this situation, he is my first.
I am not speechless, but I want to keep it to myself it’s so good. My man doesn’t have all the things that you have on your list, but that’s why you overlooked him. Many women have lists. If they are interested in materialism they focus on the things he must possess, and if they are Christian, they often want him to speak ten languages in tongues, and be so spiritual he’s operating in ALL the gifts of the spirit!
None of us are perfect, but my man is amazing! I love that we get to grow together, in love! Remember that seen from “Why did I get married?” The actress Jill Scott let out this big, huge sigh when she talked about marrying “Sheriff Troy” played by Lamman Rucker. This is love, trust me, this is beautiful, naked in the Garden of Eden love!
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