The movie depicted by Berry as Frankie, Alice, and a little girl nicknamed “Genius”, told of a true story involving a woman with multiple personalities.
This movie is a real tearjerker. I am up crying while my sweetie took less than two minutes to fall asleep. Did we see the same movie?
Have you ever cried so much you didn’t know why?
I used to cry myself to sleep but if someone asked what was wrong, I could honestly say, “I don’t know”. The only thing I know is that it feels like I have the weight of three large Michael Jai White type men on my shoulders emotionally, and crying seems to release the pressure.
Normal? Maybe, maybe not but these days I really question, What is normal? I believe that we all have a variety of personalities, or ways that we respond in different situations. I certainly am not comparing the clinical definition of multiple personalities with that of someone not clinically diagnosed.
However, I have found that much like Frankie, I can zone out and play a movie in my head, recalling times, dates, aerial views, and people when I pass by a place, see a person from the past or even hear a certain song.
We can all do this. The word you maybe thinking of is called memory. And we store memory in our brains. I’m not exactly sure how we choose to store short term and long term memory.
Recalling my Neighbor
I saw the girl that lived next door to me the first eight years of my life yesterday. I’ve always thought she was beautiful and her name actually fits her smile and her cheeks. She’s a few years older than me.
She always hated me! She said I was bad, and even though we’re both grown with children, accomplishments and failures, she didn’t speak to me. I always speak but yesterday, I decided to remain silent.
When she walked by, the hundred times that she did, I was reminded of being molested at age four, a hickey at age seven and her hating me. Not the best memories for a local basketball game where we are supposed to be cheering and screaming with intensity.
Yesterday, I was sitting feet away from my siblings, for hours! I was saved by having my sweetie there but you could feel the awkward distance.
It’s 4 o’clock in the morning and I’m still up fighting back tears because everything I remembered yesterday triggered emotions that played out today. The movie did a number on me.
I can not pretend that my childhood was pleasurable. I can not pretend that the memories won’t send a message to my tear ducts and tell them to get ready, and I don’t know that we’re ever able to forget sense memory.
My point you ask? Sometimes, it is okay to cry, and cry until your eyes are red and you’ve blown your nose red like Rudolph. Sometimes crying can be the gateway to making sense of it all. I’d rather feel something than be numb and take my pain out on the world.
I love being me. Every once in a while, when your destiny seems to be aligning itself you will get emotional. I’ve learn to make sure my emotions are balanced. You don’t want to get overly excited about something and it fall through but you do want to walk in a confident faith, poised and composed.
And hopefully what you’re crying from memory about, you’ll have the opportunity to address it, heal and it will forget itself! There are things that I have forgotten. Thank goodness I can’t tell you what they are!
There will be times that you’ll see someone directly related to the pain. If you’ve been traumatized or sexually abused as a child, often times their are associated pains with family members who didn’t speak up. You may still struggle with feelings of rejection, abandonment, loss, etc…
I just want to encourage you to be the beautiful, extraordinary you that the world can not do without. Confront your fears and your pain, give way to love and healing. It took years to affect you, it may take years to become ineffective. Whatever it takes, you owe yourself and anyone else nothing but love. Romans 13:8.
God is a healer. He heals miraculously; instantaneously as well. However he wants to heal you is up to him. It takes mustard seed faith. Only believe.
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