Are you tired of making New Year’s Resolutions that you know you will not keep. These self-serving resolutions have good intentions but will you be able to make all the necessary life changes to accommodate them? I have a resolution for you!

Get Off Your Back Side!

The next time you see someone who appears to lack urgency, preparedness, vision, and is lazy in your view of the matter, I want to encourage you to look beneath the skin.

A person’s actions do speak louder than words however you may not be truly listening! One of my favorite Tyler Perry movies is “I can do bad all by myself.”

I have written several blogs about Tyler Perry like:

1. Did Tyler Perry pressure the Sandusky victim to testify?

2. For Colored Girls Review

And, I’ve questioned some of his decisions. I love and support Tyler Perry. Let’s face it, we won’t like everything about everybody. And, in this case, I am frustrated that I don’t feel like people received their healing at the end of movies like “Why did I get married Too“, or “For Colored Girls“.

I Can Do Bad All By Myself

In I Can Do Bad All By Myself, April played by (Taraji Henson), she is cold, selfish, bitter and is drinking herself to death. She is in a relationship with a married man and denies herself the love she truly wants; the love we all deeply long for. She wakes up at 1:30pm in the afternoon but that’s understandable since she works as a lounge singer at night.

She is wearing the same mask that you may have worn at some point. How many of us have isolated our feelings, packing our pains as heavily as possible on our heart’s rhythm.

“Oh Lord, I want you to help me…” This hymn, serenaded by one of the Winans, Gladys Knight and Henson. God is in this film, he’s in the battle cry of our souls when we can’t pack it down with anger and misery anymore.

There comes a point where the slightest acknowledgment of God can take you into a spiritual outcry, and he, never leaving your side is there as you wash away yourself with your tears, awakening the flood of God within.

People are not all the Same

Just as you have been through some things, others have too. 80 percent of people who are narcotic and substance abuse users have been victim to child sexual abuse. They may not recover as you do, and they may not handle situations as you do; this does not make you right, it makes you different.

I love my mate more everyday and somewhere in me, God planted a little microchip to give me secret answers in my decision-making. Our approach in how we handle situations may be different from someone that we are supporting with love.

I want to be as supportive and loving and helpful as possible. Notice that I don’t want to change him, and I’m not changing myself in hopes that he’ll get some kind of hint or make an adjustment – because that would be manipulation.

It’s like that with anyone friend, or close family member. As a homeless person, I’ve experienced my share of judgment. I had people playing God, telling me how things should be done. Prior to my homelessness, I could not count on even one person to be there without conditions, to love me through the storms of life.

And now, I am blessed with a mate who allows me to be me, without conflict. I am this way to others, but to receive this is a gift from God. He has also blessed me with a few friends that stuck by me until the storm passed, and a few who will continue on with me in life’s journey.

New Year’s Resolution

As we approach another New Year, I want you to exchange words of criticism for thoughts of love, positive intention, and cultivate your appreciation for the quirky unique ways that make people authentic.

We are not all the same, no matter what people may say. The challenges we face are real, different, and to some extremely painful.

The people you shun have real pain

On the Facebook Page, Rape is Never Justified, a friend asks how to overcome Nightmares. I remember having Nightmares for a year and a half after something that happened to me. This story is in my memoir book at:

One in four women will experience a sexual violence, and one in six men will as well. This means that many of you, your social network  friends, co-workers and the neighbor that you seem to always run into when you walk out of your home may have something in common that you’ll never have a reason to talk about.

I’m not saying that the woman played by Taraji Henson, “April” did not anger me with her grandiose level of selfishness, or that my urge to be completely insensitive to her wasn’t reasonable.

However, learning what she was actually holding in during the movie explained a lot about her character. And Tyler Perry showed you remorse, and deliverance; change in her relationships.

Your New Year’s Resolution

I want to admonish you to give people a chance. You’ll never know how your love will deliver others out of bondage. I do admit that this is a special task not for everyone, but I believe that God has people assigned to your life for you to impact.

This New Year, rather than a self-seeking resolution, I encourage you to be open to Love in all things. Arrest your doubt and release your love with great intensity.

Let your love be an unstoppable force. It takes great maturity to love someone. I’m not asking you to force it. Remember, we are often on assignment. You’ll know to whom your love will transform. It will be natural-and unbelievable. There will be favor that goes before you and signs and wonders that follow to confirm that you’re in the right place and time in your life.

This love could be in connection with your soul mate, or a new friend. This New Year’s make your resolution count. Be emotionally available to love someone. I assure you, the return is divine.

BE. Extraordinary,


Feel free to stop by and say happy birthday to me.

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
This entry was posted in Family Ties, Long Suffering: The Face and Lifestyle of Homelessness, Love, Relationships, Teen Dating Relationships: Violence and Emotional Wellness, Teenage Moms, Ten Ways to Safeguard your Child from Sexual Abuse, The Parent Lounge Blog, The Power of Saying NO! and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


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