January 12th, 1995
Do you possibly remember where in the world you were on this date? For some it is like trying to pinpoint Waldo. I used to get irritated with Waldo, but I always found him. So, I’m going to bring you into my world for a few moments (as I always do), and take you back to the significance of this date for me. I am going to give you two words, boy band; or maybe two better words boy brand. Boyz II Men to be exact. They had a concert in Washington, DC and I had convinced a boy to take me instead of some chick he was trying to sleep with.
By the end of the night however, I learned that his intentions had went from her – to me, just for the night anyway. Boys have a way of going with whomever will lift up there skirt. I certainly had no desire to lift my skirt for him, but Boyz II Men on the other hand? Michael was my man – it was all in my head of course. This is one of the most memorable moments in my entire childhood. Sad, but absolutely true.
The Breakup that tried to ruin my Boyz II Men memory
I have another date for you, January 12, 2008. Where were you in the world on January 12, 2008? I was walking my two Rottweilers while my fiancé packed, and stole things totaling about $1,000 from my daughter and I and left.
I only remember the second date, because of the first. This fool tried to ruin my sacred Boyz II Men memory by acting unnatural on the anniversary of the concert. Notice that I did not actually meet Boyz II Men, I simply screamed, and hollered all hot and bothered like the girls around the world in all of the Michael Jackson concert clips. I was trying to play cool but at some point I just lost it.
In 2008, I thought that I was going to die. At some point, I really thought that there was a part of my heart that cracked just like the pictures of broken hearts with the crack down the middle. I thought that something was physically broken and that my heart would fail.
I had gone to church and believed God; prayed, lived a life pleasing to God. Everyone makes mistakes here and there, but I was really trying to be the good Christian woman that my mother and others around me wanted me to be (though I didn’t realize it at the time.)
I developed a relationship with someone from elementary school that would have never had a chance if we did not have that in common. There were early red flags, that I ignored. And I think at some point I just didn’t want to break up with him to go through ‘this’ with another person.
He was a lot of things, he was not the one, although my best friend has this theory that he actually was the one but missed his destiny with me. God is forgiving, I’m sure he’ll find someone else, maybe not as remarkable (just kidding). In hindsight, January 12, 2008 was the best thing that could have happened to me. His brother came and picked him up with his black trash bags full of things that did not belong to him.
God has an extraordinary plan for my life, and I truly believe that we become whom we marry. What I mean is that you two become one, and often when people marry the wrong person, they miss their destiny and trade it in for a mediocre, and sometimes a very tormented life.
But, forget him. You’ll have to get your copy of my memoir to hear more about my past Cobie.
Let’s take you from darkness to light. January 12, 2012 I woke up out of my sleep to tell you that God is not only a healer, he hears you and those same desires that you have for the man of your dreams he has for you.
I am speaking to men too. I will be really happy when the really good men stop dating the women that crash their cars, credit in hopes of finding a good woman. Haven’t you all read my blog How to ask for what you really want?
God told me that if I would wait awhile he would come. And, he has. He is the most compassionate, loving man. Have you read my blog about Black Single Christian women? If you keep believing everything you hear, you will be single at fifty, still upset yet holding on.
This January 12, 2012 I just want to acknowledge God and say thank you! One thing about us, God will get it to us- whatever it is he has for us, but it will come in the way that he knows we’ll not be able to turn it down.
He, my man that is, takes care of me, and he loves me. I’m not talking about loving the things I ‘can’ do for him, or sticking around until I am a “millionaire” pretending to care for me so that he can reap the benefits financially of being connected.
This man deep in his heart loves me effortlessly just the way God and I talked about. Honestly, we could eat peanut butter sandwiches everyday for the rest of our lives, and live in a hut as long as we’re doing it together. We have goals and dreams but seriously if waking up to the one you love could be put into currency, those brown eyes would make me Bill Gates or Warren Buffet wealthy.
And if you check out those other blogs, you’ll see the adjustments I made, and the truthful conversations I had to have with myself, before he could come. Prepare your heart. God knows when you’re ready, and like you he wants the best for his man of God.
If you expect perfection, you must be perfect. My whole perception of perfection is changed. I didn’t even realize I wanted perfect until I went back over my list. Over the years, I kept adding on. Seriously, read the other blogs. One day, maybe after we get engaged, and have the wedding date set, I will write and tell you the story of how we met. It really restored my faith in God. It was not he nor I that brought this union. I obeyed God and went somewhere I did not want to go- and he, my love was my angel.
Maybe I’ll tell you the first day that he told me that he loved me and all that he went through that day to be my hero. Love is an action word. I’ve always believed this, but now I know. And, if he were to never say I love you – the evidence is all there in every single thing that he does. His sincerity pours out like liquid love and I drink it as often as he fills my cup each day.
Forget February fourteenth, on my blog January 12, 2012 is about to mark the new love day where Cupid is God, and there are no fantasies, no mysteries just love – naked, the way it is supposed to be. Four years after the break up that I honestly did not think I would live through- I am overcome by the weight of God’s glory; manifesting himself in a man – sent to love his daughter.
You win. I promise you win but you have to be honest with yourself, keep living and obeying what you hear. You can have what you believe, if you do not settle out of fear. Remember, Love and Fear cannot coexist.
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