“I’m gonna save you- You’re going to be my wifey.”
This is all I hear throughout high school. I never thought about it too much. I really looked at it as an honor. Like really I’m wifey type? But then as me and my mom were sitting down talking one day she brought up a valid point.
She asked, “How do they know what wifey type is when you all are only fifteen or sixteen? Then in my head I thought well maybe they look at their parents or maybe they just watch a lot of TV. When I sat back and thought about why all these guys called me wifey type, I realized that they were just going based off the difference they believed to be between me and a hoe. In their heads they are saying, Okay she hasn’t been with any of my friends or cousins, she’s still a virgin, and she doesn’t flirt with a lot of people. Oh My Gosh I Gotta wifey!
Yes, I do fit all of those qualifications but at the same time that doesn’t make me able to marry you, clean the house and manage school, maintain bills and be a homeowner, or head of household. So I wonder, has the word wifey been misconstrued, or overused?
I was looking at it as an honor but I can’t hold that title and have that much power at fifteen. So I put a stop to it. I don’t allow any young boys to call me wifey when I can’t own up to that name. For now, just call me by my name Dae’Jah and say that I am worth being with you instead of wifey type.
Wifey and Slurpees
You have two types of girls in high school it’s the Wifey type then there are Slurpees. Sometimes I feel bad for the girls that are titled Slurpees. A Slurpee is a girl who gives head or brain (sucking a boys penis) . In some cases girls that give head are still virgins.
Those girls take on so much abuse and hatred while I simply get treated like a queen or princess. I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t go around letting people know I’m wifey type. I simply carried myself with respect and dignity. The difference between us is that they tried to call me out of my name before but I didn’t allow it nor did I give them a reason to. I don’t give disrespect so I don’t take it.
Those girls are so used to disrespect and abuse they just take it; they don’t stand up for themselves because they don’t think they’re worth the time. But you are worth every bit of time and respect, I am not a wife. I don’t have a job, kids, a husband, nor am I a homeowner or head of household. I am simply a girl who knows who she is and will not allow a boy to define me or tell me what category I need to place myself in.
Thoughts from Ressurrection Graves:
This is an extremely powerful blog for every parent and teenager to pay attention to. Alot can be gained from the knowledge shared here. If you have a son, having a sit down conversation with him about how to acknowledge, honor and respect women can support teenage girls who are called slurpees, in getting their identity back. Unfortunately, boys can be just as permiscuous as the girls that our teenage contributor mentioned and receive pats on the back, “Good Job Son” from parents, and respect from peers.
Instead, I am challenging parents to talk to their daughters and ask the tough questions. Do not only ask if they are a virgin, ask if they are sexually active. Find out what parts of their body they may be compromising. Talk to them about keeping themselves for the right person, and if you are christian have the conversation about being worth the wait.
I’m very proud of Dae’Jah Cymone for letting us into her world a bit. I hope that any teenager reading this knows that they can say, I have the Power to Say NO! as I teach to young people and adults alike.
Have a courageous conversation with your teenager today! It may be exactly what they need to hear from you. Remember to tell them that you love them and that they are indeed beautiful.
Dae’Jah Cymone is a rising high school junior who plays varsity softball, and studies art.
Ressurrection Graves is an author and speaker writing Ten Ways To Safeguard Your Child From Sexual Abuse.
- Wifey Training II (yousassinme.wordpress.com)
- How do I tell my boyfriend to stop buying me things? (ressurrection.wordpress.com)
- For Discussion: Are You Offended By The Terms “Baby Mama” and “Wifey”??? (bossip.com)
- Teen Blog Contributor: Words of Wisdom from a Teenage Perspective (ressurrection.wordpress.com)
- 7-Eleven Slurpee Nation Offers Daily Prizes, Sweepstakes in ‘Access 45’ Promotion Featuring EA and Ubisoft Games (prweb.com)