Child Sexual Abuse: Submerge to Emerge

This entire week has been holy week. I certainly have been in prayer but not as a memorial. A friend of my fiance’s is visually impaired and underwent surgery to try to correct the problem. My nephew to which he is estranged although we love him dearly is in a coma and has been for several days at age twenty-four.

My sister’s husband had a heart attack – another one. Oh, and we are estranged – mostly, because she is incredibly mean and her relationships with everyone she knows are completely abusive. She is not sexually abusive but she has the manipulation and emotional abuse thing down to a science.

For some people, today would be a day to reflect on life and to be thankful that you are not in ICU or losing your vision. Instead, I feel a great sense of quiet. I want to be quiet, to hear quiet to know nothing else but God’s voice. I am not in doubt, I am encouraged. I am not upset; exhausted emotionally, but not upset.

And you, I have been in constant thought of the positive comments that I have received about how this blog has ministered to your soul and spirit. How you have begun or are journeying through your healing process after finding this blog.

I thought that I would leave “Good Friday” blog open for me to write something powerfully inspired. I begin writing something and tossed it. And, now after five hours in the hospital, and a deep desire to meditate and sleep, I want to share something not-so-profound. In fact, I am literally thinking and typing at the same time. Consider this a freestyle.

My purpose and focus of this blog is to help individuals who have been broken by incest, family dysfunction, physical and emotional pain. My desire is to support you in your healing as my life has become a living example for me to heal.

Palm Sunday, the Prince of Peace rode in on a donkey. Today, is the celebration of Jesus being put in the tomb, and by Sunday – you guessed it, Resurrection! For non-believers, stick around, as I mention this is not necessarily a christian blog but because I am christian there may be some symbolism that I refer to because of my faith.

When you submerge you leave it behind. When you emerge you are brand new inside.

So, if today is “Good Friday” and the celebration of the anniversary of Jesus’ death, then perhaps we can join in to think of one thing that we want to put to rest. In the Christian faith, water baptism is a symbol of Jesus’ resurrection in that we go down into the water and leave the “old man” at the bottom. When we emerge, we do so as a “new man,” brand new.

Today, my fiance and I will find something that we must put to rest (individually). He is so supportive, I’m sure he’ll join this project. It is simple. Find something that you are not over, and resolve to find healing.

Many child sexual abuse victims have been raped, molested, sodomized, or forced into a sexual activity on more than one occasion and by more than one predator. Sometimes, it is that one situation that you have not gotten over or forgiven no matter how hard you try. What is that for you? Remember that healing and forgiveness are for you, and not the other person.

Perhaps you feel a certain way because you never told on them and you know that they are harming others. You may have passed the statute of limitations for taking them to court and charging them, but it is not too late to warn a school system or neighbors about him/her. (This is just an example – no resolution will be exactly the same.)

Maybe you can not forgive your mother? I do not know your story, but you are aware that you can share it here in the comments section whether you use your real name or not. In this exercise we will all symbolically choose something to go underwater with, and emerge without.

When I figure out what that is, I will let you know. I’m sure it will come up in a blog sometime next week. Here is the end of the message – which I will come back and talk about on Sunday, if you are putting something to rest today, and leaving that part of yourself behind as the old man, then certainly you will receive a revelation about the new man who you will become by Sunday.

Salvation as it is believed by the Christian faith is something that you believe and confess with your mouth, but that is not necessarily a public event. You can do this in the privacy of your home. Baptism however is a public announcement of what you have done in private. Everyone is not supposed to write their story in a blog, or a book. Everyone should not be a professional speaker on child sexual abuse awareness, prevention and healing as I. However, there is a way that you can publicly share your story that will show that you have overcome whatever it is that you are choosing to put to rest and emerge without.

Feel free to submit your story to me in poem or writing form at: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com. It may be published right here, this month. I want to know how we are learning to leave things in the bottom of the water and be the resurrection that we want to see in the world.

Bless you,

Ressurrection Graves

Author and Speaker

Child Sexual Abuse Advocate


About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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2 Responses to Child Sexual Abuse: Submerge to Emerge

  1. I’m copying in here what I wrote on another spiritual blog today in answer to their question about resonating with the feeling of escaping. It feels very relevant to your post today:

    Anyone who has ever experienced incest knows what it means to be held captive. Helpless, you live side by side with your abuser/s awaiting your day, your chance to be free. Many women in that situation do what I did and marry to escape. Often, that proves to be just another form of interment since we carry within us the conflicting belief that love = harm or compromise or some level of fear, etc. And then there is the lowered self-esteem we might carry or the shame or the feeling that we are worthless and those feelings – a part of the very body we inhabit – attract to us those who will prove the feelings true. Oh, true, we may attract a knight in shining armor but we can’t usually live up to his dreams…or to our own and we begin to feel that all good things must end.

    My freedom came from an unlikely source, the catalyst of fatal illness, the challenge of figuring out what it was that I was hiding from myself – having now become a captive in my own hardened body. It took years. But finally, I was freed.

    Those of us who have been prisoners – of whatever sort – tend to carry our prisons with us until we can find ways to release ourselves from the bonds we have placed on ourselves to keep us from further harm than that which we have already experienced.

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