Losing Us: A Dedicated Poem

Earlier this month my nephew died at age 24. I still haven’t written about that experience, as it is challenging to process given my staggered family relationships. Being at the funeral and re-pass were just as traumatizing as my loss.

But I did it, and got through it because that is who I am. Two days after the funeral, I performed at Will Work For Food which is an open-mic poetry spot hosted by Raquel “Ra” Brown in Mt. Rainier, Maryland (a few miles outside of Washington DC) at Sweet and Natural Cafe (a vegan restaurant).

It was amazing night but, a strange one. My fiance’ was not there which was the first one that he has missed since we have been together. Thirty minutes before his friend and best man for our wedding were about to leave out of the door, he had a heart attack. Still he sent us a text message to say he wasn’t feeling well and would stay home.

He went into the hospital that night, and as I had done the beginning part of the month at a different hospital for my nephew, I put most things on hold and went back and forth to CCU hoping for him to wake up. My nephews funeral was April 16th, 2012. My fiance’s friend died today. In other words, they passed away about two weeks apart. Did I mention that his friend just got married March 7th, 2012? He was married two month before passing today. Please say a prayer for his amazing wife.

My fiance's friend. RIP April 27th, 2012

I don’t know what to do with myself except write. So, although I am writing this to my fiance’s friend who is like a brother to him, that passed today, I am dedicating this to them both because what people said of my nephew is that he was selfless with whom he loved and of my fiance’s friend, he never complained. I think that both of those synopsis’ are pretty extraordinary legacies.

To: Donald and Eric May you both rest in peace.

LOSING US

I feel misplaced- like I have lost something.
Or maybe what I am looking for has lost me –
like when we search for our glasses
when they’re on top of our heads-
when we can’t find our keys

Our arms are stretched wide while tears evacuate our insides;
We all breathing careful with uncertain speech
knowing your relentlessness
we sit in stuttering disbelief

What loss we feel in this moment,
we all gain in your liberty-
miserably we make eye contact with each other;
like children who want their parents to be
the miracle soil for planted seeds.

Even with you laying there
taking last breaths, we choose to believe.
We are not at ease; prayers for peace.

Nothing lacking, nothing missing, nothing broken
and nothing out-of-place,
does not describe our introverted screams.

I feel misplaced- like I have lost something.
Or maybe what I am looking for has lost me –

When life expires and our emotions discuss tomorrow
hoping that today was just a misinterpreted dream.
What you have left here will be a strength for the weak,
your stubborn tenacity for normalcy;
your creativity that make you unique
and your vision despite your own current needs.

You will leave what you believe-
here as a remnant,
a pathway for the scared.
Even when you lost your sight
you could see beyond what was there.

To some you lost your fight
but to me you prove what I live by
to do everything with everything in you
and exhaust every option possible

What you’ve done is left us and you without regret-
living life that to some were impossible.
Being who you were was not optional and
nothing could be more proud,
than to know that you may seem to be what we lost,
when in fact you lost us, so that you could look from Heaven down.

April 27th, 2012

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com
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2 Responses to Losing Us: A Dedicated Poem

  1. My deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your beautiful nephew. My condolences as well to you, your fiance and to the wife and family of the gentleman so beautifuly pictured here. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

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