To Get Questions Answered
I mentioned earlier that genealogy is important. It is a shame to have to go to extended family members, and ask about your parents’ upbringing. It is uncomfortable to do so when your aunt or uncle are laying in the hospital and you are sharing their last days with them.
Learning about where you come from could give you the insight that you need to create something powerful. You may ignite your passion. In family counseling get the truth about where your parents are from, how they met, how they lived and you will begin to see that learning these things about them will explain why they parented you as they did.
Remember this: Generational Curses are broken on purpose!
Aside from learning about your history, you may need to get questions answered as a part of your healing and forgiveness process. When you confront your parent and ask them why they did nothing when you reported the sexual abuse to them, or to ask your parent why they did not stop, or why you were abused at all you help to filter your curiosity and to place your hurt. Once you confront what is bothering you, the only options are to heal or to hurt someone else.
Now that I am at an age where I am preparing to send my own child to college I wonder why my mother did not push me to get back into basketball or why she did not stress that I would go to college regardless of whether I had a child or not.
You may have those same questions. I had to ask my mother why she did not know what my father was doing, or why she did not pursue her own charges against my molesters. There are many questions that I have had for my mother, and at first she did not feel comfortable answering them but now she is open.
This time in counseling she has fully opened herself. She said, “I want to hear what they have to say.” She was referring to my siblings. There is another part of this to remember, we can ask all of the questions that we want to but asking will not guarantee answers. Some people who you are asking questions may not know the answer. They may or may not get back to you. There are others who may not be ready to face additional questions once they answer you.
No matter how someone responds, your responsibility is simply to ask. If asking the question will expedite your healing, ask the question.
Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and relationship mentor. She is available for speaking engagements and interviews via telephone or nationwide. Please subscribe to her blog —>
RECAP: So here are my ten reasons that you may want to initiate and/or attend family counseling:
- To forgive yourself
- To forgive others
- To learn the heart of your siblings
- To get questions answered
- To become comfortable sharing who you really are
- To create a family vision
- To break generational curses
- To change roles
- To win souls
- To re-engage in family traditions
Each numbered reason above represent why you should or would consider family counseling, even if you feel that your family is functional and intact. There is a tremendous amount of healing and liberty that happen when you choose to have a courageous conversation with family.