To Break Generational Curses
I know I have spoken on this briefly in other reasons for attending family counseling however generational curses leave a strong hold that often, people live their whole lives in denial. And, when they are not in denial, they cannot stomach telling themselves the truth as long as no one else notices. For some, the generational curses may be some form of abuse absent fathers, incestuous fathers, prison relationships, irresponsibility, no hope, joblessness, poverty mindset, and the list goes on.
I often hear people in poverty or low-income spew hate-filled remarks about “the rich” who send their kids to the best schools, afford them the best opportunities, and often bring them into the family business after they’ve attended college.
Small business owners often apprentice their children in. The rich keep getting richer because they have a generational system that works. They aren’t living well, so that others won’t. They are living well because they have developed a system which we born out of a vision first to last for generations. And, when necessary they will eject someone misusing the gifts bestowed them like Paris Hilton who got her inheritance revoked.
Generational curses or Generational blessings? You will have one or the other. I, some areas it may seem like you have a little of both like great people of character who are poor and struggling. In family counseling, some may be willing to admit the habits, and curses that have been around blocking your family’s blessings.
This will be a great opportunity for you to receive a deep healing cleanse from God, and change course.
In my book Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love, I share some things about my personal family experiences. I talk about the fact that several of my siblings have married convicted rapists. Let’s just assume that the men are not rapists, and they were falsely convicted (which I do not believe to be the case for one, and is definitely not the case for the other).
The fact that my father was a sexual perpetrator, and then my siblings married perpetrators is not a coincidence. There are many other details that I will not share about my family and the dynamic of individual persons – including the effects of decisions on the children.
In these situations, there are women living in denial about the effects of their choices on the family as a whole.
The reasons that they have made certain choices are no different from the reason I chose to separate myself from my family. I did not want to walk away from them, it was the hardest thing that I ever had to do but I understood after my last relationship, that if I did not sever ties I would continue to date the same type of men and accept the same type of experiences in my relationships.
In most of my dating, I have been treated very well. I will not accept anything less, but most men take one look at me and think either that they are not enough or are honest that they are not ready for a wife – which they quickly identified that I was.
Instead of trying to change these men, I wanted something different. In order to do something different you must be radical about your decisions, and unapologetic about your standards.
I have felt emotionally abused for a long time. I was attracting – though subtle, the same types of abuse that I was used to accepting from my family.
Breaking the curse meant a lot of “me” work, and to disassociate with any relationships that perpetuated what I no longer wanted to attract in romantic relationships.
Honestly, family counseling may keep certain people in denial. Sometimes denial is all that they are holding on to, to keep them from going crazy. But, family counseling can start the inner workings of confrontation which may support them in choosing individual counseling.
On the other hand, generational curses as addressed in family counseling will help everyone to recognize the elephant in the room, and choose together to do better, and to be what they desire to see in themselves. If the family chooses to heal together, you offer each other support.
Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and relationship mentor. She is available for speaking engagements and interviews via telephone or nationwide. Please subscribe to her blog —>
RECAP: So here are my ten reasons that you may want to initiate and/or attend family counseling:
- To forgive yourself
- To forgive others
- To learn the heart of your siblings
- To get questions answered
- To become comfortable sharing who you really are
- To create a family vision
- To break generational curses
- To change roles
- To win souls
- To re-engage in family traditions
Each numbered reason above represent why you should or would consider family counseling, even if you feel that your family is functional and intact. There is a tremendous amount of healing and liberty that happen when you choose to have a courageous conversation with family.