Yahoo Trending: Amazon Rape T-Shirts and Pedophile Literature

Yahoo is currently trending an article about a t-shirt that I find disturbing. In the article the UK Amazon allowed a company called, Solid Gold Bomb and its brand to be sold with words promoting rape and sexual violence of women. It seems that more awareness seems to be making rape culture more marketable.

This is my personal concern with my research. I never want to share information that desensitizes people into believing that the behaviors I want to prevent or end should be endorsed. As with copycat crimes and both history and research suggest, anytime you constantly talk about something, people seem to conform their thinking to making the forbidden belief acceptable, even if it is not.

You May Also Like: Coy Mathis Transgendered Child and Lil Poopy Sexual Abuse Rapper

Rape is rape no matter how it may be used in a word, celebrated on a t-shirt, used in slang or translated from one’s culture and language to another. According to Yahoo the t-shirts say:

“Keep Calm and Knife Her,” “Keep Calm and Choke Her,” and “Keep Calm and Grope On”, “Keep Calm and Hit Her”, “Keep Calm and Rape a Lot” and “Keep Calm and Rape Them”.

While the company credits a computer glitch and has written us a nice statement to save their buttholes, it is safe to say that enough advocates have ripped them a new one in hopes of boycotting their brand, and sending a permanent message that normalizing sexual violence in any form is unacceptable and will not be tolerated.

Amazon and Pedophiles

In 2010 there was a pedophile named Philip R. Greaves who wrote a book and uploaded it to be sold by Amazon. Once found, there was public outrage and people demanded that Amazon remove the book or threatened that the online retailer would be boycotted.

Amazon did remove the book, but in light of the outrage over these t-shirts I decided to do a quick check for pedophile books on Amazon using some pedophile lingo that I’ve learned in my research. I found books that were written by pedophiles, for pedophiles promoting “Intergenerational Love” for “Minor-Attracted Persons”.

Jay Edson (pen name) is a pedophile who is featured on Amazon's website as of March 4, 2013

Jay Edson (pen name) is a pedophile who is featured on Amazon’s website as of March 4, 2013

The truth is Amazon does not have people, and processes in place to monitor child sexual abuse, or sexual violence products. They are concerned with allowing the public to make decisions about purchasing products, and do not want to keep children safe. I’m not going to start an online boycott because this article demonstrates their priorities.

Jay Edson whose “real name” is Jim Hunter is not only a pedophile, he has a Master’s Degree in Social Work who worked with pedophiles and mentally ill patients. His novels are based on pedophile relationships, and he has a website, other articles and materials that I’ve been able to ascertain as a promotion of pedophilia.

You May Also Like: Is the Obama Administration Legalizing Rape In Bathrooms

In one of his articles he couples homosexuality and pedophilia saying that any or all of these desires are acceptable. In his description of child abuse he says this:

Everyone’s got a different landscape. And that’s a good way for it to be. Their ain’t no gay nor straight nor pedo nor bi, and certainly no normal or abnormal, no more than you can say about an ocean or a continent, this one here is normal, and that one is abnormal. Each person is just his or her own landscape which like any landscape is a mixture of things.

I am in the middle of writing a book entitled Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children. This topic is necessary and we are going to have to do better than trending articles on Yahoo for a few hours to see pedophile and sexually deviant culture and behavior banned from Amazon.

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. ® which stands for Healer • Educator • Activist • Life Skills Expert • Empowerment Speaker • Relationship Mentor® who writes articles about ending child sexual abuse and homelessness. She is available for radio interviews and speaking engagements at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pedophiles are Watching Coy Mathis, and Lil Poopy: What these Children have to do with Legalizing Sexual Abuse

I am mortified. I wrote a blog a while back which made some people up in arms about my question whether legalizing same-sex marriage will pave the way for legalizing sex with children.

If you read this article, and the links in them, you’ll understand how Coy Mathis and Lil’ Poopy are being used as demonstrations for future legislation.

You May Also Like: Obama on Same-Sex Marriage and Legalizing Sexual Abuse

I am not against homosexual people. I do not hate. I am not intimidated by people who choose to make everyone who may not believe that people are born homosexual, homophobic. After a really good conversation with someone today – before writing this article who is homosexual, I want to say that I can not clam everything into one article.

I have a website with over 500 articles. One topic may be specifically on something like this today. And, another day, I may talk about incest which represents 90% of children who experience child sexual abuse. Instead of assuming that you know my entire heart with one article, I encourage you to read more about my stance on ending child sexual abuse.

I did not create the term homosexual pedophile however, I do believe it is important to share information with you that can help you whether you are heterosexual or homosexual, join me in preventing child sexual abuse from being legalized. – Ressurrection Graves

My research is not about homosexual lifestyles rather I raise a significant question:

Will the tolerance of same-sex marriage lead to the legalization of child sexual abuse? Likewise, will the constant media attention desensitize people from noticing child abuse when they see it?

Before you scroll down to answer these questions, I believe it is important to present the reason that these questions is being asked. There are organizations focused on ending rape culture. You will find my contribution to ending the rape culture in hip hop through an article that I wrote about Lil Wayne, Meek Mills, and an over-the-counter drug called S.W.A.G. in an article here.

There are also organizations who are liberating women like One Billion Rising who launched a dance routine around the world and encouraged non-profit organizations ending domestic and sexual violence to join in, upload their own videos and share it so that others can be inspired to break free from the bondage of unhealthy and abusive relationships.

There are also organizations who like my work, want to end child sexual abuse; prevent it and help adults who are healing from their past to lead amazing lives. I have created the term child sexual abuse grooming® and explain its difference briefly here.

I am writing a book that will include more on grooming, and offer Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse®. In the book, I also talk about how I believe sexual discipleship has taken place among some of the country’s leaders, and I will expose some research that I have found on this topic.

Pedophiles are Watching

Coy Mathis by Kathryn Mathis

Coy Mathis is a 6-year-old child who was featured on the Katie Show. I don’t really care for her content so I don’t watch, but yahoo ran a story that caught my daughter’s attention and she forwarded it to me.

Coy is a transgendered child. Born a boy, and now a girl her family has sought media attention to make the school change its policy to allow Coy to go to the girl’s bathroom. Her mother says this:

“The school is really missing out on something big,” Kathryn, a photographer and certified nurse’s assistant, said during the broadcast. “They could be taking the opportunity to teach all of the students that everybody is different and that we should embrace our differences and we should respect everybody. Instead they’re creating this divided environment where they’re showing all these children that a child is different and we’re going to treat them poorly because of it.”

My daughter’s question was, how is this not child abuse? How can parents get into trouble for child abuse if they allow their child to get a tattoo but not get into trouble if their child is transgendered? A transgendered person is someone who identifies as a male if they were born female, or a female who was born male.

This does not mean that any reassignment or reconstructive surgery has been performed, it simply means that a verbal choice has been made to self-identify as a gender other than the one you were born. The real question is, how could a four-year-old child know that they are transgendered?

There is another way. You can legally become a different gender by having a doctor to sign off on documents stating that you have undergone mental medical treatment to determine that this is something that you really want to do.

transgendered comment

From a professional perspective, I would question the psychologist that encouraged the parents to identify this child as transgendered. I believe that the doctor should be sued for malpractice. There is not way a child that young can be determined a different gender for the rest of their life. I agree with a commenter who said that the children should be taken from the parents. – all five. Additionally, I wrote an article asking, When are your children too old to bathe with you? In the article I say this:

I am going to answer this question as a mother first, and then I will quote research. As a mother, an auntie, and someone who has been around many children, the answer to this question is when you feel that the child is beginning to explore body parts, or when they are old enough to ask questions about body parts.

When they begin to name body parts, and recognize that you all have different or different sized body parts, this is a good time to teach them about their bodies, and to end shared bathing schedules even if it is convenient.

Another way to know is that you will find yourself wanting to cover up around them. There will be internal sensors there to help you. As I asked this question, and looked for answers on mom websites, I noticed that some people gave different ages, and some of those ages were older than the child in this picture. For me, it is when a child is coming into an awareness of the body, boy or girl.

How does a four-year-old boy know that they want to be a girl? Professionals will tell you that if a child wants to play dress up with girl clothing or wants to do things that are traditionally identified as effeminate things, this does not necessarily mean that they are homosexual or transgender. There could be several things to investigate.

I would want to know concerning this Mathis family, how often Coy plays with the girls. I would ask what kind of conversations are had at home where a child would even know with understanding, the difference between a boy and a girl at that age. And respectfully, how is it possible that when the child is traditionally entering an age of awareness of their body parts, that they all of a sudden don’t want those body parts?

You May Also Like: Is the Obama administration legalizing rape in bathrooms?

When I called my mother to ask her about the story, she said that she saw the Katie show and thought that the subject was about letting the little girl go to the bathroom. When I probed more, it was revealed that she thought the child was a hermaphrodite, which means that she was born with both a vagina and penis.

More clearly a hermaphrodite is:

A child who is in an intersexual state is classified in one of three categories: 1) true hermaphrodite – an infant born with both ovaries and testicles and has both male and female sex organs. 2) female pseudohermaphrodite – a genetic female with male external sex organs. 3) male pseudohermaphrodite – a genetic male with external sex organs that fail to develop properly, resulting in female or male/female physical characteristics. – Got Questions

My mother’s question really was more related to, why it would be news to let the child go to the bathroom. She also wondered why the parents did not pick a part (after praying of course), and having tests run of the baby’s internal organs to see if the child was born female, or male.

I had questions and so did others who contacted me about writing this article. First, I want to give you understanding about what a transgender person is. If you click here, you will learn vocabulary terms.

Lil Poopy

Lil Poopy, a poor pseudonym I presume was created to rival Lil’ Bow Wow’s young rapping legacy, whose name was inspired by Snoop Doggy Dogg and the Dog Pound who found him, is a 9-year-old fourth grader who was discovered by French Montana in his father’s home studio.

Allowing a child to touch an adult is child abuse.

Allowing a child to touch an adult is child abuse.

The child, was in a video that made references to him being a “Cocaine Cowboy” per his lyrics. In the video you see a typical video hoe or vixen as the entertainment industry has coined women who appear in half-naked clothing and are positioned to make young children experience viral lust through what I would consider soft-porn.

Lil Poopy is from Morocco and part of a group called The Coke Boys. The boy’s father says that the young rapper has “not doing anything wrong,” and that he planned on contacting his lawyer. However,  some people are concerned that the boy’s parents allow him to act out in s*xually suggestive ways while shooting rap videos. – Your Black

Coy Mathis and Lil Poopy Child Abuse

In my response on the Lil Poopy article I had this to say:

This is child abuse, and I’m glad that someone called. To argue that it is okay for a child to be sexually suggestive and slap a woman on the butt is no different than when a pedophile says that the children they have sex with are sexual beings who have enticed and “asked for” sex. This is why my book coming out this year is so necessary.

I believe that we live in a time where the term, “If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” is being bullied right out of us. Where people who were homosexual, transgendered and for other reasons were discriminated against and bullied, they now bully the opposing view.

If you do not believe that a person was born a homosexual, you are now called a homophobic person. If you are homophobic, you are also cast with discrimination, hate speech and so on. If I give you the freedom to believe and feel what you do, then I deserve the same freedom.

It is unfair. I do not have to agree with something because it is the majority’s rule. I believe that from a spiritual perspective, I can not share what I see about the times that we live in but I will say this, the entertainment and media industries are creating an opportunity for pedophiles to defend their belief that children are sexual beings who can make decisions about their own sexuality. This is extremely dangerous.

Why are you teaching a child to pretend to be something he's not? What kind of lesson is this?

Why are you teaching a child to pretend to be something he’s not? What kind of lesson is this?

Last week it was the story about the child who dressed up as a baby and took photos. You can see my article about that here.  The adoptive mom’s followers tried to bully me for my opinion article there. And, this week it is the 9-year-old boy slapping an adult woman’s behind while his father celebrates his “acting” skills. And, a little boy who tells his parents he wants to be a girl, and they go against the school board who has the right to protect other children from the parent’s personal choices.

This is not about “tolerance” or “liberation”. If so, the parents would understand that theirs is a personal choice and that the other children do not need to make special adjustments for one child. I hope that the school board stands their ground, and I believe that this family and the situation calls for more review.

The children are too young to make life-style choices that would impact their entire lives, especially about sexuality at 4 years old, and I believe that brainwashing has taken place for this child to understand what is going on, and will it be difficult for the child in teenage and adult years.

I believe that allowing these children to be used as demonstrations of sexual beings will prove a climate change in the fight against sexual abuse. You can not stand for everything, and with discernment people need to see past the media angles and incredible marketing to understand that pedophiles are watching.

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. ® which stands for Healer • Educator • Activist • Life Skills Expert • Empowerment Speaker • Relationship Mentor® who writes articles about ending child sexual abuse and homelessness. She is available for radio interviews and speaking engagements at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Ten Ways to Safeguard your Child from Sexual Abuse, The Parent Lounge Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Pirating Intellectual Property, Copyright Infringement or just bad taste?

Whomever said that stealing someone’s work is flattery is a liar. They are either the person stealing from other people, and in an effort not to draw attention to themselves they have decided not to fight it, or they have no feeling toward it because they have nothing authentic to protect.

While the term, “There’s nothing new under the sun” is true, there are brands created which are so specific that when you hear it, your mind travels to the what you remember about it. All of your senses are engaged in this memory.

“We are watching the landscape,” Cook said. “We like competition, as long as they don’t rip off our IP, and if they do, we’re going to go after anybody that does….We think competition is good; it makes it us all better. But we’re ready to suit up and go against anyone.”

Well, looks like Apple (AAPL) is suiting up, and against a big opponent. This morning, the iPhone maker filed suit against HTC, a Taiwanese handset manufacturer that makes a number of Android smartphones, including the operating system’s marquee device, Google’s Nexus One (Read the suits in their entirety here.)

Apple sued Google, and won. Google delivered their settlement in pennies. Well, that was mature! Alicia Keys is being sued for her hit single “Girl on Fire” by Earl Shurman for using a couplet – whatever that is, in his song, “Hey There Lonely Girl.”

Johnson & Johnson

Many people do not know that one of the Johnson’s from Johnson & Johnson created the very first self-adhesive band-aid. This means that they created the brand – band-aid. They also came up with a single red cross that would be used in symbolize emergency preparedness and first aid. Johnson & Johnson licensed its red cross to The American Red Cross organization to use it. In court many of the claims were dismissed but there was one important part of the suit that was left intact:

The judge left intact only a small part of the suit, which contends that the Red Cross purposefully interfered with Johnson & Johnson’s business relationship with two health care supply companies, Water-Jel Technologies Inc. and First Aid Only Inc. – NY Sun

Identity Crisis: Identity Christ Is

Taking someone’s work is serious. If you did not first think of it, you should not use it, period. I woke up this morning to an invitation to a book signing event that had the name “Identity Christ – Is” in the title. When I was sketching and playing around with book titles, this was exactly how I wrote it. The name of the book that came to me was, “Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is”.

I told two people in a church that I attended, the name of the book. I remember where we were standing, and what we were talking about. These were two separate conversations. One of those people came out with a cd using my book title, and later claimed that he made it up himself.

He appeared confused that I was bringing this up to him after his cd was released. I let him know that this was no revelation from God it came from a conversation that he and I had in or around 2006. I felt betrayed because I told him the book title in confidence. I remember that we were talking about the entertainment industry and he was educating me about the undercurrent of spiritual evil in hip hop.

We began talking about personal projects and I told him in confidence the name of my book title.  It was not something original that he thought of, and it was my mistake for sharing in excitement. Believe me, this mistake has never happened again. Today was the 2nd offense where I was invited to a book signing from someone who I’ve known for eight or nine years. When I saw the name, I was so disappointed and upset. Both of these people are “nice” people. Their personality however has nothing to do with hijacking my work.

All written, photographed or other information on this website is owned by Ressurrection Graves, and cannot be used without expressed written consent.

All written, photographed or other information on this website is owned by Ressurrection Graves, and cannot be used without expressed written consent.

James Fortune came out with a cd titled, “Identity Crisis” last year. I may not have liked the similarities in our titles however I have seen the phrase, “Identity Crisis” before. I searched for the title of my book before creating it. Identity Crisis was something that was taken, and that is why I prayed for an original title. “Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is” came to me. I searched for it, and did not find it. Not one person had a title, “Identity Christ Is” with any symbol variation or play on words. This is my original.

U.S. Copyright

According to the U.S. copyright office, you can not prevent someone from creating a book title with the same name as yours. They are considered short slogans, however there are titles that you can trademark if you intend to brand them similar to the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” or “Dummies” series. It is however bad taste to steal someone’s ideas, especially from someone who you are in the same business or personal circle with.

Ironically, I was on the phone yesterday speaking with someone about me speaking at an event, and I was discouraged from having any relationship with the person who founded the event that I suggested. The respondents non-gossipy warning was that “there is a lot of integrity to be desired” of ‘that’ person. I had been asked by said person on several occasions to do administrative work such as book plan writing and development, press releases, and other writing that would include my brand knowledge.

After I declined without any compensation the tone of the relationship changed. Over the last six months, several people have mentioned that although this person has the ability to draw a crowd, they steal others’ ideas and implement them into their “non-profit”.

Stealing Money

Equally alarming this morning, I read an article about Michael Winans Jr. which read:

Winans attracted more than 1,000 investors in 2007 and 2008, although he didn’t know them all because many were recruited by others through word of mouth. He promised 100 percent returns in two months, then used the money for personal expenses or to pay off earlier investors. About 600 people are still owed $4.7 million.

Winans, 30, is a third-generation member of one of gospel music’s first families. He’s the grandson of Delores “Mom” Winans and David “Pop” Winans Sr., and the son of Michael Winans Sr., a member of The Winans, a quartet of brothers. His uncle, Marvin Winans, gave the eulogy at Whitney Houston’s funeral. – The Huffington Post

What is not-so ironic about this situation, is that the same church where two of the members have taken my book name, is also the home church of someone who did the same thing to innocent people within the ministry, only they escaped church prosecution and were asked to be forgiven.

You May Also Like: Secrets to Blog Success

They still served in ministry as leaders. I believe in forgiveness, and I pray that the person learned their lesson, but it will not bring all of those people their homes, college educations for their children, retirement money and otherwise investment portfolio back to them.

While the person did escape church prosecution the feds were not so generous. The woman was put in jail for 29 months, three years additional supervision and ordered to pay back over $34 million dollars. This was a $78 Million mortgage fraud scheme. I am not releasing the name of the church for respect of the pastors although I do not endorse or agree with allowing this woman to continue to serve in ministry.

This same woman was also chosen over me to be on a business committee to start a business ministry within the church. I submitted a proposal and was told that I could be nothing more than the secretary (although my proposal would be used) because I was not as successful as some of the other business leaders in this church.

You mean like, leading everyone to the poor house and teaching them how to wear prison jumpsuits? Or, like teaching people to be parroted and inauthentic stealing my work instead of empowering them to hear from God about their own visions, ideas, trademark brands, and businesses? This is not the will of God. But, I digress.

I remember David Duerson who was a four-time pro-bowler, NFL player with the Chicago Bears, and businessman who made 1/3 of the McDonald’s hamburgers and sausages after leaving his NFL Career. He took his company to $64 Million. The company worked like a well-oiled machine according to Duerson who sat on my massage company’s board of directors before his suicide two years ago.

When one of the manufacturers that he had a contract with did not follow through with plans it ruined his company. He was left with nothing. He took them to court and won, $34 Million. After waiting seven years, the toll of his financial loss coupled with other important life challenges were a difficult armor to bear. The company filed for bankruptcy and although he won the case, he did not see a dime before his life ended.

Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love

Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love

Stealing My Name

Dave who I wrote a story on last year is an amazing mentee who has contacted his old colleges, newspapers, the mayor of the city of Alexandria and many other business and political leaders to share his story of overcoming child sexual abuse at home and in foster care. Someone who read his story, an entrepreneur who reached out to him.

The entrepreneur offered Dave a platform to speak in Charlottesville, Virginia and then offered to be his “booking manager” for some outrageous percentage. When they discussed the speaking engagement that this guy is not offering him a dime for, the man looked at my website and said he wanted to name the event, “The Ressurrection of Marko Hamlin”.

intellectual property

Immediately Dave informed this man that my name is Ressurrection Graves, and that it would be inappropriate to name the event with my name in it. Dave has a powerful story and I’m sure that God can give him and this man, a new title that reflects the work that God is doing in him. There are examples of two Dr. Dre’s in the rap world but it’s both confusing and unnecessary. The Dr. Dre that most are familiar with is the one who just came out with the beats.

The other – I’m not sure of what he really does, and remember memory is what matters. I think that he may be a DJ. If my name was “Rev Res” that might be cute actually, but it is still not “Rev Run”. Necole Bitchie is catchy only because it rhymes with Nicole Ritche who is Lionel Ritchie’s daughter. And, while I don’t like that there is another person with the name Necole in the world using it for branding purposes, it exists, and it is her brand. I salute her efforts. She shares an interesting story like mine where she overcame homelessness to decided to follow her business dreams.

Rick Ross (the correctional officer turned rapper) has had to cancel shows because his life has been threatened over him stealing his pseudonym (stage name), and using other people’s names as a part of his image in his songs. Using someone’s name is not a form of flattery, it is stealing. It is alleged that he is using gang logos, acronyms and other distinctive intellectual property that belong to business owners – gangsters or not!

In YouTube videos, gang members warn Ross, 36, that he will end up in a hearse unless he pays tribute for using Larry Hoover’s name in “B.M.F. (Blowing Money Fast).” Hoover, serving life in federal prison, co-founded the Gangster Disciples in Chicago in the late-1960s.

The gang, which has grown to include chapters nationwide, has also accused Ross of coopting its Star of David logo on the cover of his new mixtape “The Black Bar Mitzvah.” – The Smoking Gun

You May Also Like: Marko Hamlin – Overcoming Child Sexual Abuse 

I am angry and rightfully so. If I started a conference called, “Women Thou Art Loosed Today” you would be alarmed. If I created something that said, “Just Do It Now” you would also be alarmed. You would immediately think of TD Jakes and Nike. It is unacceptable to pirate someone’s intellectual property, ideas, or vision.

I need to be very clear that I work diligently doing what God has called me to do, and I have no problem exercising my legal right to sue anyone who would try to take what I have built and benefit financially from it whether your actions appear intentional or not. In a not-so coincidental posting, I wrote this yesterday on Facebook:

God is big enough to give you your own business dreams, ideas, plans, and visions. You do not have to steal what has come from heaven for someone else. It’s not about “you stole my stuff” in God’s view more than it is, “Why do you feel you have to steal their stuff as if I can’t give you your own?”

Taking from someone else’s dispensation has to do with you missing God for yourself. It is an identity problem, and you are exposing your own weakness. Be authentic and people will be attracted to the place where God lives in YOU! – Ressurrection Graves

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.


Posted in Business Marketing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

[MEDIA RELEASE] ‘We Found Love’ in a hopeless place: How a Veteran and Entrepreneur crossed paths in a homeless shelter – their wedding celebration and the launch of their non-profit organization to end homelessness with housing in America


Ressurrection Graves is a serial entrepreneur and like many Oscar winners (Martin Sheen or Halle Berry), businessmen and women before her, homelessness was the path least desired. This experience has developed and shaped the emergence of their greatness’.

Deven, her husband was a homeless veteran who fell into the cycle of homelessness’ lifestyle which is filled with the rejection, judgment and control of others. As a veteran, and the son of good people who instilled certain strengths in him, his life is dedicated to service – but it’s hard to convey that serving is your life purpose when you’re the one in need.

Then August happened. There was an Earthquake and a Tornado in the Washington DC area the week that lead up to their meeting. It rained. Harvest was on its way. Their eyes met and they have been captivated by the divine intervention of their connection ever since.

Now, they want to use the information and experience that they learned as long-term homeless people to break strongholds over the lives of those who are still seeking escape. Rapha Response Group is a boutique agency offering an alternative shelter solution for homeless individuals seeking transitional housing. Rapha offers a matchmaking service between an individual or family willing to foster hope, healing and temporary housing to homeless teens, veterans, individuals, and families.

Later this year, Ressurrection and Deven will release two books on the subject of overcoming  homelessness.  One book is dedicated to homeless individuals empowering them to overcome the effects that the trauma of homelessness can bring. The other book will be released with the human service worker in mind, to support them in being more effective in their interaction and intervention strategies with the homeless.

Ressurrection, a writer and child sexual expert created Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child from Sexual Abuse a training for professionals, parents and pastors/priests. She created a term called Child Sexual Abuse Grooming® and will explain the difference between this and child grooming in her upcoming book on the subject.

Ressurrection and Deven are preparing for their wedding ceremony which will take place at the Jefferson Memorial in Washington DC. After the ceremony, entrepreneurs from all over the United States who have flown to DC to participate in this joyous Inaugural gala will dance, and celebrate the night away. The tickets sold at the event will cover start-up expenses for their non-profit organization.

Their dream wedding, the gala, and their dream honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil will commence August 28, 2013 – the 50th Anniversary of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. speech “I Have a Dream”. The dual anniversary inspired their wedding theme,

“I Had A Dream and It Came True.”

Please join us! We are asking representatives of homeless organizations to attend.

Please join us! We are asking representatives of homeless organizations to attend.

As they continue to rebuild their lives, they are asking for the community to join them in celebrating their love, making a donation to the couple and/or to their life’s work to end child sexual abuse and homelessness.

There are several opportunities to help them as they emerge from their own homeless experiences and empower others to do the same. The events that will support them in moving forward are:

Ten Ways to Safeguard Your Child From Sexual Abuse Seminar April 5th, 1pm-3pm

Somebody Say WORD – Open Mic – April 5th, 7pm-11pm


If you are looking for additional ways to support this couple in their new beginning, you may view their wedding gift registry, become a sponsor for their non-profit launch reception, or check out Ressurrection’s book campaign here to pre-order a book and/or take advantage of other perks.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Secrets to Blog Success: How to Build an Audience Who Will See, Subscribe and Share Your Work

Last night, I drove to Manassas, Virginia to be the guest speaker for a literary group called Writing by the Rails founded by Cindy Brookshire. The writing group is composed of authors, aspiring writers, and is a representation of various kinds of writing styles and genres.

It was a privilege to share my expertise on building a blog platform. I am thrilled that my articles have generated activity in 188 countries. I have met some amazing people through this blog space, and have been booked for radio and speaking engagements.

Writing by the Rails Speaker ComplimentThe above picture is exciting feedback from Cindy Brookshire who said that I am a fascinating speaker. The audience members had several questions about blog marketing. In an effort to give you a recap of what I shared, I’m going to provide you with Cindy’s minutes from the meeting.

Cindy Brookshire's minutes to share with her group Writing by the Rails in Manassas, Virginia

Cindy Brookshire’s minutes to share with her group Writing by the Rails in Manassas, Virginia

One of the concerns during the evening was, how do you market to your target audience without watering down your work. My advice to the audience member is that you don’t water down your work. People will be attracted to your authenticity and that is how you develop your target audience. Be yourself.

As you writing and business goals grow, you will begin to be shaped by some of those goals, understanding why and how people find you. You’ll naturally learn how to be yourself and attract the audience who will call you, show up for you events, and purchase from your website.

You May Also Like: How Do You Come Up With Blog Articles?

One other thing that I shared with the audience is that you always want to be the solution to someone’s problem. People buy deodorant because they do not want to smell bad in front of other people. People buy certain books because they help them to be better people, why would they buy something that you have written? If you can figure out what problem you’re solving you also crack the code on supply and demand.

My last tip may be a controversial one. This is a bonus that I did not discuss the other night. I heard one author tell another author to keep writing as many books as they can. They advice was not to wait for one to be successful but to keep writing. I did not interject because the author seemed so confident that I thought she knew something that I did not know.

From a business perspective, I think you get better with time. I certainly have become a better writer since I started blogging several years ago. I do believe you should keep writing, I’m just not-so-sure that I agree you should keep publishing.

In my experience, I wrote my memoir Identity Crisis, Identity Christ Is: A Journey To Love which is available for download here. After writing the book I realized how necessary it was to blog. I had to learn the industry of blogging, and understand through trial and error why certain blog posts did not gain a viral platform. There were certain posts where I am extremely vulnerable.

You can find an example post like my letter to my mother, and brother here and here. I also wrote a letter to my younger self here. They serve different purposes for me. Individuals who are healing from child sexual abuse, homelessness or share in my journey somehow always find those blog posts through a search engine, or a shared source. They are my core followers because there is a connection. They will be the ones who show up to my events, who admire my personal and spiritual growth and who buy my books.

The blog posts which make me popular are usually something that I’ve written from an expert perspective and/or is an Op-ed. This strategy I have learned gives me access to a greater audience, even if they don’t agree with my opinion. Here, here and here are examples of blogs where I wrote an opposing view, and they went viral.

You May Also Like: A Man’s Gift Makes Room for him, and then what?

There will be mean people, or people who just don’t admire your work. You do not want to focus on them, because they are not your target audience. Who is inspired by your work? Find out what makes them read you, comment and share it. I believe that if you use my secrets here, you’ll find some measure of blog success.

Are you:

  • a beginner blogger?
  • an aspiring blogger?
  • someone who has a personal story to share?
  • afraid that people will steal your work?
  • still wanting to have your questions answered?

If you identify with the above list, and you have additional questions, I offer a 15-minute free consultation. I am available to be reached at: 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Business Marketing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

How Do You Come Up With Blog Articles?

Last night I had the pleasure of speaking on the topic of Strategic Blog Marketing. One of the questions presented by one of the audience members, was “how do you come up with blog articles?”

There are several ways to answer this question however I am going to provide you with information that I was not taught anywhere else online. I’m authentic that way.

If you have a free WordPress blog with a paid-for theme, and you check your stats you should be able to see the search terms. On other blogs, or blog websites where you must pay for plug-ins you can get a plug-in for “incoming search terms”.

One way to guide how you choose your blog topics is to see the search terms. You are able to see how people are finding you by what they have put in their search engine. You will know if you do not have any material on the subject of their question. Then, you create new content for the next person searching for the answer!

I want to give you an example. I write on the topic of child sexual abuse. People will often search in questions, phrases or key words to see what articles come up to help them find the answer that they are looking to find.

Search Terms

These are search terms from my website. I often treat them as research opportunities or queries.

I begin to see Lil Wayne in my search engine. People were asking “Was Lil Wayne raped by Baby?” They also put in phrases like, “Lil Wayne rape” or “Lil Wayne sexual abuse”. I even started seeing inappropriate terms like “Lil Wayne penis size” which notified me that this question/phrase came from teenagers. So, I wrote a blog that was geared to teenagers who listen to his music, educating them about sexual abuse. My most recent post tackled the issue of his lyrics and sexual violence.

Before Lil’ Wayne’s search terms started coming through, I had no idea that he was sexually abused. The same type of questions, and phrases have come through for other famous people. I research it, and if I can not find anything substantiating the search term, I will not write about it.

You May Also Like: Secrets to Blog Success

I recommend that teenagers, lovers of Hip-Hop, and parents of teenagers who love listening to Lil’ Wayne should read the two articles here and here that I have written about him. If you do not fall into these categories, it is possible that you will not like the articles, but they are very informative.

Another population who would like to read these blogs are advocates and professionals who offer healing, prevention, intervention, education and awareness on subjects concerning child sexual abuse, and/or domestic and sexual violence.

TLC has a show called, The Sisterhood. I wrote an Op-ed initially on Tara and Brian Lewis here, where I called out some comments that they made half-hazardly about pornography and pedophilia on the show. My article gained a response, and scored me with exclusive interviews with cast members.

Although they did other interviews, they did not give the same information that they did in my interview. My interviews were the most valuable about the Sisterhood cast members, so it attracted their audience to my website as well. Here is an exclusive interview with Domonique, and you may click on the exclusive interview with Christina Murray here.

How do YOU come up with Blog articles? Please leave your comment below.

Ressurrection Graves is a veteran entrepreneur who writes, speaks and develops strategies to end child sexual abuse, and homelessness. She is a strategic marketing analyst and business development coach. She is available for radio, television and keynote speaking engagements nationwide of by telephone 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

What does God say about Common Law Marriage?

13 For no temptation (no trial regarded as enticing to sin), [no matter how it comes or where it leads] has overtaken you and laid hold on you that is not common to man [that is, no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not[a]adjusted and [b]adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear].

But God is faithful [to His Word and to His compassionate nature], and He [can be trusted] not to let you be tempted and tried and assayed beyond your ability and strength of resistance and power to endure, but with the temptation He will [always] also provide the way out (the means of escape to [c]a landing place), that you may be capable and strong and powerful to bear up under it patiently. – 1 Cor 10:13 (AMP)

In an article that I wrote about the process of dating to marriage from a single-christian perspective, I identified what I believe are seven things that are necessary to do in order to prepare yourself, and ultimately marry the person that God put on this earth for you. Is there someone for everyone? I think yes. I believe this with all of my heart.

I also realize that many people do not believe that it is possible, and for this reason there are more than enough opportunities for someone who does believe, to actually cross paths with the right person for them to spend their lives with.

The most controversial part of the Rules of Engagement article was the last myth where I said that it is a myth that someone who is engaged cannot have sex with the mate before their wedding. If you pay very close attention to my words, I said wedding, not marriage. In the article, I illustrated that according to the bible engagement or betrothal is the same as marriage.

We know this to be true because in the bible if you were betrothed, or engaged (same word) you have entered into a covenant, and a contract. In order to release yourself from engagement or betrothal, you must have a writ of divorce. My point in the article was not to tell people to go find someone to be engaged to in order to have pre-marital sex.

My point was to explain that if you are engaged not by today’s standards, but by the standards of the word of God, then you have entered a commitment, and a covenant to marry. I continued that entering into engagement should not be taken lightly. I always recommend that before engagement, you should have counseling sessions.

Some believe Marriage to be an institution while others believe it to be a ministry.

Some believe Marriage to be an institution while others believe it to be a ministry.

I recommend that men should not surprise their potential bride without you all first having conversations about marrying one another. The romantic way that you propose should be a surprise but the question and answer that you receive should not.

Common Law Marriage

There is a huge myth to dispel concerning marriages. Marriage is a ministry, it is a covenant and a life long commitment that should not be entered into because of feelings of love. You need to examine the heart and character of the person that you want to marry, and most importantly you will want to ask God if this is the person that he has perfectly designed for you. If you are like me, every single time someone says “common law marriage” you think “they must have been together a long time.” According to Mary S. Yamin-Garone 

the idea of common law marriage actually dates back to medieval England. It simply came about due to transportation difficulties and limitations. Clerics and justices who officiated at marriages were not always able to travel to couples in rural locations. In such cases, the couple could establish a marriage by “common law.”

In the past, common law marriage was a geographical issue, and not a conscious choice of two parties. There are many things that I believe we have misinterpreted by using the  phrase common law marriage so easily to identify a couple who has been together for a long time. Common Law Marriage is not biblically authorized for Christians.

There are two important factors to determine that common law marriages are not permitted. One is that someone who in this day and age are calling themselves common law married, do not have the intent to marry. We have always seen this couple as the alternative to wedding.

Someone who says that they are common law married identify themselves as a couple who would prefer not to actually be married rather continue in a cohabited relationship with or without children. God desires us to make choices in life. In fact he has given us free will in order for us to choose our relationship with him.

You May Also Like: Considering Marriage

People who choose to live their life as a boyfriend/girlfriend but never make a firm commitment, or enter a covenant miss out on the glory that is attached to a heavenly relationship under the divine ordinance of marriage. Either this person is, or is not the one but staying involved with someone without both feet in, or both feet out is indecisive and unfair to yourself and the other person.

You are either missing out on your blessings somewhere else, or you are missing out on your blessings where you are and may not be experiencing your best life. So, what is common law marriage? Common Law Marriage is marriage!

Although it is the alternative and dare I say sinful way to get married from a spiritual perspective, it is indeed marriage. There is a contract that must be signed by you and your spouse in order to submit paperwork to the courts. Some people think that common law marriage is a representation of the time that  you have been together however the truth is, common law marriage is not just a term but a legal process.

You May Also Like: How to ask for the experience you really want

You will enjoy some benefits associated with filling out the paperwork. It is most similar to a civil ceremony, without vows (just paperwork), or a domestic partnership. As a couple pursuing common law marriage you must:

  • have been living together for a state determined number of years
  • refer to each other as spouses (husband or wife) within your social circles
  • prove that you are already doing things that married people do like filing a joint tax return

There are only 14 states and the District of Columbia which still find Common Law Marriage recognizable. So, before you believe the next person who says that they are “common law” married, know that it is being phased out because it was never meant to be a way to marry in the first place.

Although you will fill out paperwork, and must be legally common law married, there are still disadvantages. According to several states and attorney websites, you do not get the full benefits that a married couple does in the event of an emergency or break up.

If you are married and you divorce – which we want to never happen, you have to discuss your possessions and agree on who will have what. You also must determine how you will settle the home and other things regardless of whether one of you or both of you are on the mortgage.

DALLAS, Feb. 18, 2013 /PRNewswire/ — Dallas-based Spencer Law, P.C., has won an important verdict for the estate of a deceased man from Garland, Texas, after jurors denied a woman’s assertion that she was the man’s common law wife, effectively rejecting her claim to half of his assets, which were valued at $500,000.

Dallas estate litigation attorney Kevin Spencer, founder of Spencer Law , won the verdict on behalf of the estate of Eddie Paul Baxter after a woman sued the executor of the estate in the probate case with claims that she was due half ownership of Mr. Baxter’s assets based on the purported common law marriage.

In a common law marriage if you break up, you walk away empty. You may not have any legal rights if the person dies and the family never like you. They can choose to do what they want with your loved one, and leave you out of it. It may be a fight, and one that you may not win. So here is my question to you. Why are you in a relationship so long that you have no idea if you:

  • Can trust them with your assets, like you trust them with your body?
  • Can trust them with your heart, like you trust them with your personal space?
  • Can trust them to lead or support you?
  • Can live without them?

Many people say that they do not need to be married. They are broken and disappointed by past relationship failures. The reality is – and I apologize for breaking this to you in an article no less- is that you may not be ready for the relationship of a lifetime. Love requires nakedness. Love is a feeling but first a decision to give way to the experience that you desire to have in this life.

Wedding in Washington DC on the National Mall

Wedding in Washington DC on the National Mall

Civil Marriage

In the bible, in order for one to be betrothed, there is a contract or signed agreement. If you translate it from that day to this one it is like, choosing each other and making the commitment to be together in marriage. Now, honestly a signed piece of paper as we know, holds up in civil court. “I promise to pay you back $300” will be heard and acknowledged by a judge in a court case.

My husband and I made the commitment to marry before we married. We were thorough in our conversations and chose to spend the rest of our lives together. It was first a verbal contract. One day he came home and said that he was offered something that would benefit our family, but they wanted us to be married. I offered him an out, and he would not take it saying, “That’s not an option, I do not want to live without you.”

I now truly believe that all of our steps have been ordered by God. In many ways, we could have gotten in our own way had we focused on our past relationships and measured them by what God had given in us. I had always been the woman who was like, “justice of the peace?” Absolutely not. For me personally, going to the justice of the peace, or having a small ceremony was like going to McDonald’s.

But, as I found when researching the word for the Rules of Engagement article, God doesn’t see it this way, so why do we? I had this perception because of how many failed marriages come from civil marriages too, I wanted the experience of having a wedding dress and celebrating with friends. While the dress may be tradition, God turned water into wine at a wedding celebration.

He does recognize and authorize a wedding and reception. My husband and I have kept our larger wedding plans however we had a small private ceremony. We had a man who could ironically pass for Santa Claus read a significant set of verses in the bible. We recited them looking into each other’s eyes almost uncomfortable but happy that there were a few others there to celebrate our joy.

I should add that my husband and I have attended 8 weeks of marriage counseling and I believe that it has been marriage-saving wisdom derived from those sessions which teach us how to handle situations that arise. We enjoy the full benefits of being married. We are best friends. The moral to this story is that if you know that the person you are dating is the one, why purposely sin?

The Personifications of God. Love this! Is it appropriate for you to put in your business?

The Personifications of God.

Even if you don’t know Jesus. If you know that they are the one, why not get married in case you realize later that Jesus is pretty cool and you’d like to grow a closer relationship? I’m using “Jesus” as an example for Christians who are looking for answers however we have seen in constant studies that marriage is like the fountain of youth when you are married to the right person. It promotes healthy living, it brings life and joy. You can’t make this happen but you can invite it.

If you are in a relationship and you are:

  • trying to figure out whether you should get “common law” married
  • trying to decide whether you should get a civil ceremony
  • trying to decide if you should stop co-habitation with your boyfriend/girlfriend
  • trying to figure out how to have a closer relationship with God and keep him/her

You are at a turning point in your relationship regardless of the choice that you make from this point on. I am a relationship mentor. I support individuals and families in making spiritual decisions about their relationships. You can call me if:

  • You have questions about your feelings
  • You have questions about how to end your relationship
  • You have questions about how to communicate your needs
  • You have questions about healing from your past

I believe that common law marriage is for individuals who are not sure if they are with the person that they believe is the one. The initial criteria is the length of your relationship. The next criteria is that you have the “intent to marry”. And, for many people, this is just not true.

There are many people willing to be in relationships for fear of change; complacency. Many people ride on the length of time that they have been together. I am blessed now, but there are some things that even I learned along my journey which may now benefit you. If you really answers, and want to attract the one for you, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Ressurrection Graves is a pastoral counselor and relationship mentor. She supports both the abused and the homeless in their healing and personal growth processes. She offers 15 minute free consultation counseling sessions, and offers individual and couple’s counseling using biblical principles. For your 15 minute session please click here.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Ecstasy of Writing

In my day dreams I am writing,

captivated by the texture of letters

which swoon me like feathers

caressing the skin of your beloved.

The word- it, covers me;

my writing.

bodied like an ocean’s presence,

its beauty-rhythmically drowned in essence;

the earth’s landscape.


Words keep me intimate;

literally innocent;


Emptying visions running marathons

It is this eagle

inside of me which escapes;

a vagabond

until I found this home

Writing will never leave me alone – separate

it sacredly entangles me into its web of exception;

free form expression

as healing indeed.

The words are the concert

this website is my microphone

to make sense

of the audience in my head which screams.


Like an Alvin Ailey dancer

suspended in air.

Not sure why it chose me.


My fingertips,

 addicted to the sensations of touch

Knowing that words come

from what we believe is enough

to arrest my senses: handcuffs

liberty entirely forbidden by those bound inside

 captivated by my own hang glide.

I love.

Hypnotizing, I using words as my crest;

I straighten my wings and prepare for the turn in gest.

– Ressurrection Graves

Date: May 04, 2012

All written, photographed or other information on this website is owned by Ressurrection Graves, and cannot be used without expressed written consent.

All written, photographed or other information on this website is owned by Ressurrection Graves, and cannot be used without expressed written consent.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Thandie Newton Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse

Thandie Newton Speaks Out About Sexual Abuse.

In many cases, people tend to ignore that sexual violence, emotional and sexual abuse can take place in a “professional” environment. I believe that Thandie’s story requires us to pay attention not only at home but at work.

I have a difficult time watching the part in Crash (the movie) where she is molested by the police officer. I have seen this scene from the movie on the internet with comments under it from people who do not recognize it as molestation and refer to it in degrading ways that promotes sexual violence, and a consensual intercourse. Why do these people who leave comments, think that she is happy to be violated? And, why do they not care?

The bigger question for me is, if they don’t recognize – or do not want to acknowledge the molestation that took place during that scene in the movie, what are they doing at home?

– Ressurrection Graves

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Teen Dating Relationships: Violence and Emotional Wellness, Ten Ways to Safeguard your Child from Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Entertainment Today: Lil’ Wayne, Meek Mills, Nicki Minaj, and Sex With A Grudge

Not every black person knows about the story of Emmett Till. In fact, I am going to be honest and say that I have confused the story of Emmett Till with Medgar Evers. As I have heard both stories, what I have taken from them is injustice, murder and racism. My miseducation with the historical injustices of some names that have been used to rally racial equality does not mean that I am void of identifying said injustice when I see it.

I use my vulnerability to share my truth about my lack of facts concerning the Till story to make the point that there are many people in the generations after Till who are listening to Lil’ Wayne’s music from different races, who are unfamiliar with the Till story.

I am fairly confident that those people did not stop the music to go and research his story – rather they assumed that because it was Lil’ Wayne, Till must be something good to equate his experience to sex.

According to

While visiting family in Money, Mississippi, 14-year-old Emmett Till, an African American from Chicago, is brutally murdered for flirting with a white woman four days earlier. His assailants–the white woman’s husband and her brother–made Emmett carry a 75-pound cotton-gin fan to the bank of the Tallahatchie River and ordered him to take off his clothes. The two men then beat him nearly to death, gouged out his eye, shot him in the head, and then threw his body, tied to the cotton-gin fan with barbed wire, into the river.

All week I’ve been faced with talking about the identity of young black men. And, in response many white men and women have disagreed with a blog article that I wrote here about a 13-year-old african-american boy who posed as a “newborn” baby with open-toed tights, soft lighting and what looks like make-up on his eye lids as a “Welcome Announcement” to his adoptive parents’ friends, family, professional colleagues, Facebook friends – and now the entire world via internet, print and television.

A few weeks ago, my daughter said to me that Lil Wayne “is on some other stuff”. Which was teenage talk for “he’s doing too much”, also slang for having no idea what he’s talking about in his music but it’s not something that I want to hear.

When I was younger we used slang words in the DMV- Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia like “tight” to describe something that was good. I remember a trip to New York and when I said, “tight” they acted like I spoke another language. I had to explain what “tight” meant, and they said “Oh you mean butta?” As in, butter; smooth like butter. We used other terms like, “like that”, and my personal favorite slang word which I still use is “dope”, which also means, butter, like that, and tight.

Today however there are new terms. “Crack” is something used to describe something that is tight, butta, like that and of course, my personal favorite – dope. “Trippy” as in, “you’re trippy mane” is used to describe someone who is intoxicated or visibly high like, let’s say in school. And, “hurt body scotty” which is said to be used by Lil Wayne before describes how “hurt” you are.

When the lyrics, and teens say that they are “hurt”, they aren’t talking about their feelings. “Hurt” is what they plan to do to themselves with the consumption of drugs and alcohol, and “hurt body scotty” means that they are so hurt that they have or will throw up – leaning over.

Today we are bombarded with words like “Kill” and “Murder” for simple adjectives. The tongue is apparently so weighed down with how many words it uses, that these individual words carry enough meaning to replace full sentences.

Perhaps clear communication can clear up this misunderstanding

Perhaps clear communication can clear up this misunderstanding

Meek Mills wrote a song that I perceived to be blasphemy and even a form of hate-speech by definition because he is not a christian as he made very clear in an interview with Pastor Jomo Johnson who requested that he apologize publicly. I also wrote a blog about Mills who had disrespectful rape lyrics which stated:

“have my nigga snatch yo bitch and rape yo honey”.

You May Also Like: Meek Mills “Church” or Meek Mills “Rape Lyrics”

Honestly, the music and entertainment industry has always been reckless – or calculated in their attempt to make a generation operate under its command. I believe that the music has changed as this generation, i.e., Lil Wayne and his peers have taken the idea of sex, drugs and money to a level of systemic audible pornography in lyric and accompanying music.

You May Also Like: Lil Wayne and his Child Sexual Abuse

Lil Wayne takes over the song around the third verse, and the line in question goes something like this: “Pop a lot of pain pills/Bout to put rims on my skateboard wheels/Beat that p***y up like Emmett Till/Yeah….” – Madam Noire

Reverend Jesse Jackson Sr. called L.A. Reid about the lyrics of the song, and the version was taken off-line out of respect for the historical preservation of Emmett Till and his family. An apology was also issued by Reid who did not hear the lyrics before they were “leaked” online.

The family of Emmett Till, Airicka Gordon-Taylor, cousin of Till and the director of the Mamie Till Mobley Memorial Foundation heard about the lyrics and were outraged by them. She said something so powerful,

“How could you compare the gateway to life, to the brutality and punishment of death?”

Stevie Wonder one of our most celebrated musical icons spoke through the Associated Press to say this:

“You can’t equate that to Emmett Till. You just cannot do that,” he explained. “I think you got to have someone around you that – even if they are the same age or older – is wiser to say, ‘Yo, that’s not happening. Don’t do that.

Sometimes people have to put themselves in the place of people who they are talking about. Imagine if that happened to your mother, brother, daughter or your son. How would you feel? Have some discernment before we say certain things. That goes for me or any other (song) writer.”

The outrage from people is clearly about the use of Emmett Till as a figure of racism in the African-American community however I want to add an element that is not as welcomed in discussion – sexual violence.

We hear men say that they are going to “beat that pussy up”. As a woman, I feel very comfortable making a blanket statement that when we hear that a man wants to beat that pussy up, we imagine that he has a big penis, or that he knows how to work the average penis size that he has to please the woman he’s having sex with.

We imagine that he’s going to make us feel good, that he’ll go deep – but we do not imagine that he will literally beat our pussy up. Why would a woman, whose vagina is inward agree to brutality? Why would she consent to damaging a part of her being in order to experience what she believes will be ecstasy?

Now that Lil’ Wayne and the rest of the imps who promote sexual violence have run out of things to say, who I believe are participating in sexual violence behind the music he raps about, he adds Emmett Till whose eyes were gouged, and face beaten in? This metaphor gives me images of torment – and while I as a woman may consent to having pleasurable sex, I have not consented to having sex that will abuse, bruise and send me to the hospital.

consent to sex quote

In fact, as a woman I also feel confident saying that if you make her pussy swollen it could mean that she was turned off at some point but you were too selfish to notice, that her juices stopped flowing. Whatever the reason, friction and broken skin could lead to a swollen vagina, and to high-five and celebrate a woman’s painful experience with you indicates that your intention is sexual violence.

Sexual violence is not love, and is not sex.  – Ressurrection Graves 

The real question is, what is she consenting to? And, as a man – a real man, if you are with a woman who is consenting to sexual violence perhaps you want to examine why she finds this acceptable, what other risks is she taking, and ask yourself whether you can trust a woman who does not value herself.

If you both consent to sexual violence, that is between you, and your partner. However, if your partner has not consented to you literally beating that pussy up, you are violating trust and you are being violent – without consent.

In a radio interview last night, I was asked about pornography. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar business. You don’t even have to watch movies anymore to see images that are filled with lust and an invitation to masturbate.

On Valentine’s Day Nicki Minaj sent a photo collage of her behind to her more than 15 million twitter followers. Since I’m not a follower, I would have missed the opportunity to view her ass-ets but thanks to Global Grind, who I do follow on Facebook it was the share of the day. She was pictured in a thong bikini, and in her message including a hashtag it read: #JerkResponsibly

This accompanied a pic of her on the set of a music video where she wears a thong bikini.

This accompanied a pic of her on the set of a music video where she wears a thong bikini.

There are a few things that you want to know. Pedophile is a clinical term. Someone is diagnosed with pedophilia, but like so many other words, we often use them as familiar terms. In the justice system – pedophilia would not be used to charged someone rather, “sexual offense(s)” may be used depending on your state.

Pedophiles are not the same as the general term “sexual predators”. A sexual predator can mean anyone who is a predator after sex. This has more to do with your actions, the type of abuse used in order to get what you want including manipulation, coercion, child sexual abuse grooming®, or child grooming.

While 80% of pedophiles watch pornography, we seem to ignore the fact that the pornography industry is a multi-billion dollar business who makes videos for the demand.

It has been found that many sexual predators mimmick pornographic videos when they rape women. The pornography industry caters to the requests of its clients who want to see violent scenarios of sex.

Pornography does not promote sex. It promotes violence. In healthy relationships you can creatively engage in love-making that is enjoyable to you and your partner. There is difference between lust – which is never satisfied and love. The pornography industry caters to lust, and for this reason, its clients are never satisfied and they continue to create more videos that promote sexual violence.

In the case of Lil’ Wayne and his Emmett Till lyric who is dubbed a “pill popping animal”, I wonder if S.W.A.G. is his pill of choice. A poet in the Washington, DC area uploaded this picture the other day, and while men made light of it – even if appalled by it, I saw through different eyes.

I imagined being the woman laying down with her ass-ets and vagina burning on fire. I had a physical reaction to the idea and had to post for you, what is being sold and consumed by men who want to become a “beast” in order to extract the “beauty” out of the birth canal of a woman.

This promotes sexual violence and offers instruction on how to use it on the label.

This promotes sexual violence and offers instruction on how to use it on the label.

You read it correctly! It says, 1 to hurt it, and 2 to kill it – and by hurt and kill they do mean “beat” and “murder” (other slang words being used as adjectives). According to this pill brand S.W.A.G. means Sex With A Grudge. I took a look at urban dictionary where several commenters believe that S.W.A.G. was a term used in the sixties by a homosexual group, and its meaning Secretly We Are Gay. Today we know it as a word that means someone has a sexy or attractive gait and style.

In the videos promoting S.W.A.G. they show a depressed man who is confronted by emotional abuse from a woman who ridicules and disrespected him because he finishes before she does. Then magically, he is introduced to the pill that will change his life and rid him of his sexual anxieties.

It is unrealistic. The issue is not only that pills like these are responsible for the impotence of men as a long-term effect, but that the whole intention behind using this pill is to violently use and abuse a woman. In a video on their website the video ends with his violent thrusts in the womans mouth, and music in the background which say, “I’m going to f*ck you up.”

On their website “FAQ” page, they indicate that women can use the pills as well, however in every video it is about male domination and violence. When asked if there are any side effects they say, “We have not yet had a client inform us of any side effects. NOT ONE!!!”

This answer about no side effects indicate that no studies or testing have been done either. They encourage you to take it everyday, and report that their clients say it is okay to take it regardless of your other prescription medication.

The ingredients listed are Polyrhachis Vicina Roger, Formica Sanguinea, Ginseng (root) Hippocampi, Medlar, and a Proprietary Blend of Essential Amino Acids and Trace Minerals. On this website the same ingredients are listed for a different product, called Black Ant, only they have a proprietary blend which tells me that they have done some kind of testing. If the product is so natural and herbal as a supplement for male enhancement, why does it rely on promotion of sexual violence to sell its product?

You May Also Like: The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse

In conclusion, I read a book by Michelle McKinney Hammond called The Proverbs 31 Man many years ago that told me that entering the woman was like the holies of holies. The holies of holies was a place in the tabernacle beyond the outer court, the inner court where the priest were, and the veil that divided this 15×15 foot cubical called the holies of holies from sinful people and a holy God.

The high priest had to prepare for being in God’s presence. The ark of the covenant or “mercy-seat” was there. This was the place of atonement, where the high priest could enter only once a year. It was a place where God dwelled. He now dwells in us. We are the habitation of God.

A woman’s vagina is like heaven. It is like the place where God dwells. You must enter in. There is a spiritual exchange between heaven and earth when you enter a woman. It is holy. Sex is not a bad thing but violence, lust, pornography, pill popping – all these things feed insecurities and promote a thirst that cannot be quenched.

As parents, as teens and as music lovers we with clarity need to understand that a woman is not an object. We make choices, we consent to sex and not violence, our understanding of beating up the pussy means that we think you’re going to do a good job, and not that we’ll feel raped and violated (whether we tell you or not) at the end of what was supposed to be a good time.

Young black men need to know that Lil’ Wayne was sexually abused – forced to have sex, and openly stated that he’d do the same thing to Lil’ Twist. Many Hollywood children have been sexually abused by the producers of movies and other powerful people they fear exposing. 80% of people who are substance abusers (narcotics, alcohol) have been sexually abused. 75% of prostitutes were sexually abused. 80% of mental health patients were sexually abused. And the pornography industry makes videos for rapists and pedophiles (their biggest clients) yet the movies are promoted to you. Lil’ Wayne is not your idol. He is not your example and he is killing himself, while promoting you to kill the pussy, giving you images that you are brainwashed into believing make you popular and masculine. – Ressurrection Graves

Your masculinity is not wrapped up in raping women – which is what you are really doing in your mind. With time, effort and communication a healthy relationship depends on exchanging ideas, learning effective ways to complete each other in life and in ecstasy.

If you have questions about:

  • How to have a healthy relationship
  • How improve your mindset about lust vs. love
  • How to view women in a positive way and not as objects
  • How to heal from past sexual abuse or domestic violence
  • How to overcome pornography addiction

Or any other questions that you would like to have answered, please do not hesitate to contact me for a 15 min-consultation.

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Christianity, Relationships, Suicide, Teen Dating Relationships: Violence and Emotional Wellness, Teenage Moms, The Parent Lounge Blog, The Power of Saying NO! | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Adoptive Mom Exploits Foster Child with “Newborn” Photo Shoot

The child in question is 13 years old. His sister, also adopted by Kelli Higgins who lives in Florida is the one who suggested that she (Higgins) do a photo shoot of Latrell Higgins reenacting what his newborn baby pictures would-have or should-have looked like.

As a side note, I’m really upset that this 13-year-old’s name is being used in the picture and in news reports all over the world. Of course he’s happy about it, he is thirteen! I find it exploitive and disappointing that the newspapers would pick this up and make it viral. It is everywhere, and for this reason I will not be silent.

I say that this photograph is exploitive because the adoptive mother is a photographer. She took a personal family photo, and shared it among business clients. I know this because I checked her business fan page and some of her friends below in the comments section have quoted things that she’s posted.

Every business person hopes that something that they upload will go viral, and it’s nothing wrong with that. If she did not want it to go viral, and it was a family moment, why not post to her personal page or better yet, why post it at all? Why not throw a “Welcome Announcement” party at her home and laugh about the spoof among friends?

As I look at her Facebook page, she’s celebrating the pictures success, talking about her emotions with her sudden fame in the media and marketing every aspect of this picture.

I appreciate the spin on the story (that the media took) in order to bring awareness to foster care but I am angered that so many people are celebrating this picture as acceptable journalism and real-life answers to a foster care problem.

I wrote about the picture from a different perspective. I found the picture itself a bit disturbing. I love that it has brought attention to foster care and adoption however, what I realize is that every child will not look or be like this innocent photo.

The solution is the truth. Parents must answer tough questions, and support their children as they overcome parts of life that seem unfair or hurt deeply. Below is a comment I left right on the Today’s article and website. Since you have to go through so much to leave comments on many of these websites, I thought I’d bring my comment to mine.

Why are you teaching a child to pretend to be something he's not? What kind of lesson is this?

Why are you teaching a child to pretend to be something he’s not? What kind of lesson is this?

I found this article to be absolutely informative about aging out of foster care. I also found it absolutely disgusting to put this child in what looks like make-up, and clothes that would simulate a new-born child. He is not a newborn! I don’t get to go back and re-create things in my life that I missed out on.

This is not how life works and I believe this child could develop an unrealistic view or their identity and life expectations. Why not have a photo shoot of him as he is now, and remind him that when he’s 30 he’ll appreciate the memories of being 13. This child is being exploited. Just as you ridicule what Bishop Larry D. Trotter did with his posting of an inappropriate picture, I would venture to say that not only the posting, but the photo shoot was out-of-line.

This child does NOT look like a newborn and I am outraged. Of course, an african-american child in these type of photos would go viral. This needs to be removed immediately. It is sick. For the record, whether he has these photos or not he will never have the visual of his newborn face in a picture. Take this foolishness down. – Ressurrection Graves

Every time I see this picture I cringe. This is not a portrait of an African-American young man who is comfortable in his skin as a 13-year old. I don’t know what this is! I usually do not offer any thoughts that would speak to a specific ethnic community.

Please know that regardless of this child’s race, I would be disgusted. However, in this case, because he is African-American I find it damaging because of the high tension of racism that exists in this country, and the comments that I have read posted on articles about this picture.

See Marko Hamlin: How he overcame the foster care system and child sexual abuse

See Domonique Scott of the Sisterhood: Her foster care, child sexual abuse, and prostitution story.

I did not take any pictures to give this man and woman (in the above links) the memories that they always wanted. Instead, they shared their stories of how they overcame, and continue to overcome the damaging effects of their childhood. I also share my own story. They were foster children, I was not.

As an example of how I believe that this picture idea is unrealistic, I really missed out on being a daddy’s girl. There is no way that I can make myself have a replacement relationship with a natural-biological father. Although I have overcome the desire to be a daddy’s girl – and have moved on, I offer this example because you can’t go back and have a moment that has passed. You can create a new moment indeed but there is no way to be a newborn at 13.

The adoptive-mother and photographer wanted to show a softer side of older children who were being ignored for adoption. I am confident that she could have found another way to do that, than to create these photos – taking advice from her 12-year-old adopted daughter.

With a haircut, this would have been an awesome "Welcome Announcement"

With a haircut, this would have been an awesome “Welcome Announcement”

The idea that this child is either wearing make-up or that the adoptive mother consciously allowed the picture to look like he was wearing make-up bothers me. It also concerns me that the child is in tights. Even as a newborn the child would not be in open-toed tights, with lace on the end, and have make-up or be made to look like he/she has make-up on.

From a spiritual perspective, I do not see how this picture embodies that of a newborn. I also do not see how this picture solves the idea that he was deprived of new-born pictures. I don’t believe we are called to live in our past – and when we do, it is important that we learn how we heal in order to overcome what we’ve endured. 13 is usually considered the age of accountability in a number of cultures and religious backgrounds.

While the complexities of this child are unknown because of his experience with foster care, what I do know is that there were many ways to not only welcome him, but draft him into maturity. I believe this was a teaching opportunity. In reflection, I realize that my real source of confusion was the quotes by mom in the articles, and the idea that this was supposed to reenact (not my word) his birth.

One commenter mentioned to me that in many religious cultures they have a “rebirthing” or an opportunity for someone to be “reborn”. Another person mentioned that doctors will allow this process as the mental patient goes through regression. From a spiritual perspective I don’t understand why I or this child would need this kind of experience or ritual to be born again. The fact that so many commenters offered so many different perspectives on why this picture was acceptable shows that the picture does not clearly articulate what apparently it was supposed to – a joke.

Latrell Higgins Twitter comment

There are many things about this picture that I find questionable. While I feel strongly about this photo, I realize that some people think it’s cute. We’ll have to agree to disagree that this photo is appropriate or necessary as a “Welcome Announcement”.

I invite respectful dialogue. The comment policy here is that you are welcome to give your opinion but you are not welcome to be disrespectful and insulting to the author for their opinion. If so, your comment will be trashed – and not read at all. Please feel free to chime in with your thoughts below. What do you think about this photo?



Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Family Ties | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 63 Comments

[EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW]: Christina Murray of TLC’s Reality Show The Sisterhood on Love, Marriage and the Business of Ministry

Whether you have watched an episode or two of the Sisterhood or the whole season, it is pretty easy to distinguish the characters. Tara and Brian Lewis are the fitness pastors who were terminated within weeks from a ministry upon their arrival in Atlanta. They are the couple who uses weaponized scripture to set themselves apart. You can find the articles written on them here and here.

The Sisterhood Reality Show Cast: At Left, Christina Murray,

The Sisterhood Reality Show Cast: At Left, Christina Murray,

Domonique is the character who is most talked about on the show who had a difficult childhood as a foster child and victim of child sexual abuse. She eventually became addicted to drugs, and lived a life of prostitution before kicking the lifestyle that was kicking her, and choosing to co-pastor a church with her husband Brian. You can find her article here.

I’m not the one who has to be seen in the pulpit. I like meeting people in the hallways. Sometimes people are a lot more important than policy. – Christina Murray

Anthony and Christina Murray are absolutely gorgeous together. They are the pastors of Oasis Church in Atlanta. Christina took the time to talk to me amid church construction, running church operations, and being one of the reality stars of The Sisterhood on TLC.

Christina and her husband are best friends who met in high school when Christina was moved to Anthony’s school in the middle of the school year. The only elective available to this petite Dominican sister was Weightlifting where Anthony was the consummate showman of his brawn. So, why did a couple with an established ministry with so much to lose choose to be a part of the Sisterhood reality show?

The Sisterhood

Christina is the church administrator. She is actually a pastor’s wife, not a co-pastor. Later in this article we’ll learn more about the real duties of a pastor’s wife, and the support that she offers him as an administrator. She was called to participate in the Sisterhood five times before saying yes. The initial call came at the funeral of Pastor Zachary Tims, who was found dead in a New York hotel room.

Anthony and Christina prayed about it, and without real deep conviction she decided to go through with being featured on the show because it would be something that focused on her heart for God and women.

The two-hour season finale was February 12, 2013, and while TLC has not uttered a word about the possibility of a season 2, apparently True Entertainment is ready to reel. When I talked to Christina Murray she expressed a bit of sadness that the season is ending so quickly and said:

I walk away with my head up high. I learn from every experience. I had a wonderful time doing the show. I really want people to not hold grudges and walk away in forgiveness. I knew that three things that would happen: Someone would have to apologize to someone, It would be an eye-opening look at ourselves, and we would learn, uunderstanding how to approach something better.

Christina’s motivation for participating in the reality show was personal. She says, “I am a behind-the-scenes kind-of-girl. I am a great supporter and friend. I’m good at being there for people. I’ve never really taken the time to get out there to do my dreams. I feel like God was telling me to get out there. I’ve always been his [Anthony’s’] right hand. God was going to use us to reach the world.”

Christina had aspirations to become a physical therapist before choosing to partner with her husband in ministry. While she knew she’d get a lot of critics; hate, she was concerned about having her fate, life and reputation in someone else’s hands.

When you find real love, and know that it is real love because you've experienced God, it is timeless.

When you find real love, and know that it is real love because you’ve experienced God, it is timeless.

On Relationships

Christina Murray and her husband Anthony are clearly comfortable in their skin, they are funny and their connection is undeniable. Even during one of the shows where Tara featured her “Phenomenal Life Today” broadcast as a roundtable with the other cast members, we saw Anthony congratulating something that Christina said during that taping. So, I had to ask her questions about how to keep your relationship hot when you add ministry, business, parenthood and the dynamics of them all into one experience.

I am literally married to my best friend. We have a lot of respect for each other and have a lot of fun. We’ve grown up together. I keep a file of all these little notes that he leaves me. Cherish the notes. – Christina Murray

She said, “For couples in ministry and business you have to make time. At least once a week we go out together or with a couple of friends. We’re at the job [church] and he’s always flirting; affectionate.” She went on to describe how they are celebrating Valentine’s day in their church office. At times, they will have the office staff put an index card on their back. People can write something positive about you, and at a designated time they come together so that each person can read something from their card that someone has written about them.

You May Also Like: Ask for the experience you want in your relationships

When it was Pastor Anthony’s turn he was vocal in speaking about his admiration and desire for his wife, and repeating her sentiments that were written on the card. He’ll say something like, “My wife is sexy.” He’ll talk openly about his love for her, and while she admits that she is not as affectionate we can see that his love permeates through her and has a lasting effect.

Pastor Anthony’s PDA = Public Displays of Affection are not left at the office, Christina reports that this is his way, even at home in front of the children.

The kids think it is so hilarious. He’ll come home and hold me down and kiss all over my face. – Christina Murray

What I see from Anthony and Christina is a liberty to love. I believe you see this even in their connections with the other cast members of the Sisterhood. They are people who walk in love. After 18 years of marriage, they have mastered how to make time for each other but it wasn’t so easy in the beginning. Christina Murray remembers how they had to be proactive about their dating and quality time saying,

We struggled in the beginning of marriage, financially. We used to sign up for Timeshare tours, attend six or seven a day so that we could spend time together. Never let anything get in the way of that. You have to be creative. When the job and work is gone, you can’t lose them [spouse/family] over a paycheck.

The Sex Talk

The sex talk was a source of outrage in the Christian community among conservatives. Many viewed Anthony’s decision as a parent to have the sex talk, demonstrating how to wear a condom on one of the episodes as a promotion of sex before marriage. Christina however says that there was a conversation that took place for about 30 minute before the demonstration which made very clear to their daughters, their stance on sex before marriage. They encouraged the girls to wait until they are married, and mentioned supporting scriptures so that they understood God’s desire for them to remain pure.

However, in the editing process, Christina mentions that all the church scenes that were taped were removed, and so were the moments that were filled with Godly wisdom and scriptures.

Parents are so scared because they are afraid of what the kids are going to find out. I never had those talks when I was younger. You don’t have to agree with how we do it. We wanted the conversation to happen. – Christina Murray

As a mom, it is a difficult decision to make, to talk about birth control pills and contraception, Murray continues.

Sex and sexuality was not as abundant in social media, entertainment and other plain sight areas. You need to understand your child. I didn’t want to make a decision based on my errors; my emotional feelings. I explained to my daughter about the abortion that I had. Are they prepared to understand how mistakes happen? Their life is at risk. – Christina Murray.

Anthony and Christina Murray, Pastors Oasis Church

Anthony and Christina Murray, Pastors Oasis Church

Balancing Business and Ministry

I didn’t necessarily grow up in church per se. I went through several religions. Born Catholic, became Mormons and always felt like something is wrong or something is missing. Now, what religion is going to accept us [my parents and I]?  – Christina Murray

Christina’s experience with Catholicism and Mormonism I believe offer her an advantage to understanding people from a varying view-point. While I have never chosen to believe in any other religion, I have studied other faiths, and talked with others who believe something different from I do so that my heart is pliable and ready to support or serve someone who are in need of understanding – or a relatable conversation.

Anthony Murray on the other hand, was born to a pastor, and served as the youth minister for his father’s church for many years until the youth ministry outgrew the church and it was time to step into his own ministry. It was a life that Christina had to choose, knowing that this was her husband’s calling.

What I appreciate about Christina Murray is that she understands herself, and is aware of her own anointing. She is not aiming to be in the pulpit, she is not pressured or pressuring others to see her as co-pastor because of some internal feminist need to be equal. She is sturdy and aware of her gifts. This will continue to serve her, because her steps can be ordered precisely by the most high.

I don’t even really like the term ‘first lady,’ because people think that being a first lady is about being into fashion and wearing big hats. There is a lot more than glamour. You have to have genuine love for people to be a pastor’s wife. Your main goal is to be supportive of your husband. It’s an awesome responsibility, and there is a soberness that comes with it.” – Alice May Holness, who has been the first lady of Central Christian Church for over 30 years

Christina wanted to try to help us all understand the complexities of business and ministry. Growing up, when I (Ressurrection) thought of church I assumed that we all go together on Sunday morning, that my pastor/bishop without any preparation would share a word straight from heaven, we would all experience an encounter with God and go home. As a child, I did not understand what it took to make Sunday service look like that.

Christina says, “there is a business side to a church, the same as a corporate company has. If your office, books, accounting is not in order – if you cannot grow with your membership, keep marketing strategic, manage an office staff who is in their field, and in ministry…”

We are in a business, the business of winning souls. You don’t just turn on the light Sunday morning to preach, it is a mass production to have things in order – its hard and takes a lot of work. The ministry is the fulfilling part of it. When it’s time for work, we work because there’s someone depending on us. You’re always doing work and ministry as a pastor. You see it pay off at the altar. – Christina Murray, the Sisterhood


On the church’s website they are very serious about the business of ministry, and the ministry of business, even offering a way for business owners in the church to be found via their directory – with a disclaimer of course. I love it! I have wanted to start and head a business ministry, so I am delighted to see this effort from the Murray’s.

In watching the show, there were two things that I found to be clear about Christina Murray. She is loyal and she has a serious desire to see women live their dreams. I wanted to know where this passion for empowering women came from.

“My dad was very dominating in the [my parent’s] relationship, Christina says. We are now best friends. It always bothered me to see women like my mom struggle after divorce. I wanted to make sure I made it as a woman. My husband pushes me to go beyond my comfort zone. I love to see women succeed in life. Empowering women to do anything that they want to do.”

Christina Murray, Owner of The BossLady Network

Christina Murray, Owner of The BossLady Network

Christina wants all women to strive for their most radical dream. She is following her own dreams of making dresses and has started The Boss Lady Network. Women can overcome anything including fear and abuse. Christina realized that she has a “residue of nastiness” because she refused to let anyone tell her what to do.

We believe: God first, family second and ministry third. I didn’t realize that I needed to let my husband love me. – Christina Murray

One thing that Christina and I share is appreciation of Domonique’s story and her willingness to overcome the abuse that she suffered. Although the show does expose Domonique’s behavior which can be interpreted by some as broken, and others a less compassionate belief about her, I think that what Christina and I have in common is understanding that before you can heal, you must admit that you need healing. Before you can move forward, you have to be in a place where you can receive counsel and correction.

Domonique has been so open and allowed her [Domonique] to be our friend. She will accept correction and honesty so that they [Domonique and her husband Brian]can grow together. I love all the ladies. I told Tara, “I love you, and I’m praying for you.” Will I be there for her if she called, and wanted to talk, yeah, because that is who I am.” – Christina Murray

Whether Christina ever receives an apology from Tara, (who seems to enjoy provoking text messages as much as Twitter bullying) or the show returns for a second season remains a mystery. One thing that we can be confident in is our discomfort surrounding the idea of the church being condensed into a reality series. To that end, Pastor Anthony Murray offered the perfect words.

My husband and I sat down (for research) on this article, and watched one of Pastor Anthony Murray’s videos on their website from Oasis Family Live TV. He said:

We are supposed to judge between right and wrong. We’re just not supposed to be judgmental people sending people to heaven and hell.

Married 18 years - Anthony and Christina Murray, Oasis Church in Atlanta, Georgia

Married 18 years – Anthony and Christina Murray, Oasis Church in Atlanta, Georgia

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Teenage Moms, The Parent Lounge Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Christopher Jordan Dorner Full Manifesto

As I write this Chris Dorner is in a stand-off with police. He has shot two officers, one already pronounced dead. I find it ironic that I just finished watching the Manchurian Candidate with Denzel Washington the other night (which is based on a real project by the government), and that my book is due out in April entitled, Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children.


Ressurrection Graves tackles a $124 Billion epidemic that has broken its silence through the Jerry Sandusky- Penn State case, Syracuse, Boy Scouts of America, the Jewish and Scientology communities, The BBC scandal, and Catholic and Evangelical churches. Graves in her new book Sexual Discipleship: Exposing the Strategic Plan to Legalize Sex with Children explains the chronological order of discipleship among sex magic practitioners, and secret societies who have infiltrated the science, government and entertainment industries. Graves will teach you the difference between child grooming and child sexual abuse grooming® 

For more information on the book click here.

She will explain why there is such a difference between what criminologists, the courts and human services workers understand about child sexual abuse, and she has come up with Ten Ways to Safeguard your Child from Sexual Abuse using the acronym S.A.F.E.G.U.A.R.D.S. ®.

This man Chris Dorner, is clearly is his right mind, or atleast he was when he wrote the manifesto. He is a trained killer, and he is not doing anything that he was not taught to do. The LAPD according to his manifesto are guilty of many things, and I believe that the media is not offering a true account of why this man was fired or being hunted to be killed. How is he apart of domestic terrorism? The DC Sniper did not have drones pursuing him. Aren’t those used in other countries? Not that I’m endorsing the use of drones to hunt down people in any country. The DC Sniper, was brought to justice, although he was later killed in an execution chamber.

Since when is it acceptable for law enforcement to decide that murdering someone is an acceptable form of arrest? I believe that there is more to this story, and I hope that everyone will take this opportunity to wake up. For years, the LAPD has been the butt of comments around the globe. There are enforcement agencies all over the country who are not interested in law and order; protection and service.

Below is a copy of Chris Dorner’s Manifesto. I pray that they do not kill him. If he was the person on the video buying scuba gear (oxygen tanks) considering the fact that he is a trained Navy Seal, I imagine that he will take the weather conditions as an opportunity to escape. I stand from DC with the crowd of people on the “Big Bear” mountain demonstrating peacefully saying, “Don’t kill Dorner”.

The cabin is on fire all of a sudden. And the weather is expected to be snow and rain tomorrow some reports state (as of 5pm California time). Do you think he will get away?

Update: The news reports are claiming that the body was too “charred” to identify Dorner as the man burned alive in the fire at the cabin but, they are saying that they recovered his wallet at the scene. They also said they recovered his wallet days before this situation, somewhere else. The news as usual, is lying to us. I hope that you understand that.

How is it possible that the Fire Fighters were on the scene but told to let the cabin burn to the ground? How is it possible that they have no clue who or what started the fire? This is great preparation for what will be revealed in my new book. I hope that you understand that the conflicting reports are because there is something else to this story. I don’t believe the police killed him, and I think that because of pride they won’t admit that.

Whether there was a body found, or that was also a lie, they will not tell you that this man was too much soldier for them. He knows something. He killed 4 people. I’m sure he didn’t want to. How many people have the LAPD killed or let die over the years? This man is not a sociopath. I hope he’s out of this country and able to live a life worth living. I sincerely doubt that he’s dangerous now that he’s free. (I’m assuming he’s not dead)

Chris Dorner

Chris Dorner

From: Christopher Jordan Dorner /7648

To: America

Subj: Last resort

Regarding CF# 07-004281

I know most of you who personally know me are in disbelief to hear from media reports that I am suspected of committing such horrendous murders and have taken drastic and shocking actions in the last couple of days. You are saying to yourself that this is completely out of character of the man you knew who always wore a smile wherever he was seen. I know I will be villified by the LAPD and the media.

Unfortunately, this is a necessary evil that I do not enjoy but must partake and complete for substantial change to occur within the LAPD and reclaim my name. The department has not changed since the Rampart and Rodney King days. It has gotten worse. The consent decree should never have been lifted. The only thing that has evolved from the consent decree is those officers involved in the Rampart scandal and Rodney King incidents have since promoted to supervisor, commanders, and command staff, and executive positions.

The question is, what would you do to clear your name?


A word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known, addressed, or referred to.

Name Synonyms;

reputation, title, appellation, denomination, repute.

A name is more than just a noun, verb, or adjective. It’s your life, your legacy, your journey, sacrifices, and everything you’ve worked hard for every day of your life as and adolescent, young adult and adult. Don’t let anybody tarnish it when you know you’ve live up to your own set of ethics and personal ethos.

In 8/07 I reported an officer (Ofcr. Teresa Evans/now a Sergeant), for kicking a suspect (excessive force) during a Use of Force while I was assigned as a patrol officer at LAPD’s Harbor Division. While cuffing the suspect, (Christopher Gettler), Evans kicked the suspect twice in the chest and once in the face. The kick to the face left a visible injury on the left cheek below the eye. Unfortunately after reporting it to supervisors and investigated by PSB (internal affairs investigator Det. Villanueva/Gallegos), nothing was done. I had broken their supposed “Blue Line”.

Unfortunately, It’s not JUST US, it’s JUSTICE!!! In fact, 10 months later on 6/25/08, after already successfully completing probation, acquiring a basic Post Certificate, and Intermediate Post Certificate, I was relieved of duty by the LAPD while assigned to patrol at Southwest division. It is clear as day that the department retaliated toward me for reporting Evans for kicking Mr. Christopher Gettler. The department stated that I had lied and made up the report that Evans had kicked the suspect.

I later went to a Board of Rights (department hearing for decision of continued employment) from 10/08 to 1/09. During this BOR hearing a video was played for the BOR panel where Christopher Gettler stated that he was indeed kicked by Officer Evans (video sent to multiple news agencies). In addition to Christopher Gettler stating he was kicked, his father Richard Gettler, also stated that his son had stated he was kicked by an officer when he was arrested after being released from custody. This was all presented for the department at the BOR hearing. They still found me guilty and terminated me.

What they didn’t mention was that the BOR panel made up of Capt. Phil Tingirides, Capt. Justin Eisenberg, and City Attorney Martella had a signigicant problem from the time the board was assembled. Capt. Phil Tingirides was a personal friend of Teresa Evans from when he was her supervisor at Harbor station. That is a clear conflict of interest and I made my argument for his removal early and was denied. The advocate for the LAPD BOR was Sgt. Anderson. Anderson also had a conflict of interest as she was Evans friend and former partner from Harbor division where they both worked patrol together. I made my argument for her removal when I discovered her relation to Evans and it was denied.

During the BOR, the department attempted to label me unsuccessfully as a bully. They stated that I had bullied a recruit, Abraham Schefres, in the academy when in reality and unfounded disposition from the official 1.28 formal complaint investigation found that I was the one who stood up for Abraham Schefres when other recruits sang nazi hitler youth songs about burning Jewish ghettos in WWII Germany where his father was a survivor of a concentration camp. How f***ing dare you attempt to label me with such a nasty vile word. I ask that all earnest journalist investigating this story ask Ofcr. Abraham Schefres about the incident when Ofcr. Burdios began singing a nazi youth song about burning jewish ghettos.

The internal affairs investigation in the academy involving Schefres was spurned by a complaint that I had initiated toward two fellow recruit/offifcers. While on a assigned patrol footbeat in Hollywood Division, Officers Hermilio Buridios IV and Marlon Magana (both current LAPD officers) decided that they would voice their personal feelings about the black community. While traveling back to the station in a 12 passenger van I heard Magana refer to another individual as a n****r. I wasn’t sure if I heard correctly as there were many conversations in the van that was compiled of at least 8 officers and he was sitting in the very rear and me in the very front.

Even with the multiple conversations and ambient noise I heard Officer Magana call an indivdual a n****r again. Now that I had confirmed it, I told Magana not to use that word again. I explained that it was a well known offensive word that should not be used by anyone. He replied, “I’ll say it when I want”. Officer Burdios, a friend of his, also stated that he would say n****r when he wanted. At that point I jumped over my front passenger seat and two other officers where I placed my hands around Burdios’ neck and squeezed. I stated to Burdios, “Don’t f***ing say that”. At that point there was pushing and shoving and we were separated by several other officers. What I should have done, was put a Winchester Ranger SXT 9mm 147 grain bullet in his skull and Officer Magana’s skull.

The Situation would have been resolved effective, immediately. The sad thing about this incident was that when Detective Ty from internal affairs investigated this incident only (1) officer (unknown) in the van other than myself had statements constistent with what actually happened. The other six officers (John Carey, Gary Parker, Jacob Waks, Abraham Schefres and names I have forgotten) all stated they heard nothing and saw nothing. Shame on every one of you. Shame on Detective Ty (same ethnicity as Burdios) for creating a separate 1.28 formal complaint against me (Schefres complaint) in retaliation for initiating the complaint against Burdios and Magana. Don’t retaliate against honest officers for breaking your so called blue line.

I hope your son Ryan Ty, who I knew, is a better officer than you, Detective Ty.The saddest part of this ordeal was that Officer Burdios and Magana were only given 22 day suspensions and are still LAPD officers to this day. That day, the LAPD stated that it is acceptable for fellow officers to call black officers n****rs to their face and you will receive a slap on the wrist. Even sadder is that during that 22 day suspension Buridios and Magana received is that the LAPPL (Los Angeles Police Protective League) paid the officers their salaries while they were suspended. When I took a two day suspension for an accidental discharge, I took my suspension and never applied for a league salary. Its called integrity.

Journalist, I want you to investigate every location I resided in growing up. Find any incidents where I was ever accused of being a bully. You won’t, because it doesn’t exist. It’s not in my DNA. Never was. I was the only black kid in each of my elementary school classes from first grade to seventh grade in junior high and any instances where I was disciplined for fighting was in response to fellow students provoking common childhood schoolyard fights, or calling me a n****r or other derogatory racial names. I grew up in neighborhoods where blacks make up less than 1%. My first recollection of racism was in the first grade at Norwalk Christian elementary school in Norwalk, CA. A fellow student, Jim Armstrong if I can recall, called me a n****r on the playground. My response was swift and non-lethal. I struck him fast and hard with a punch an kick. He cried and reported it to a teacher. The teacher reported it to the principal. The principal swatted Jim for using a derogatory word toward me. He then for some unknown reason swatted me for striking Jim in response to him calling me a n****r. He stated as good Christians we are to turn the other cheek as Jesus did. Problem is, I’m not a f***ing Christian and that old book, made of fiction and limited non-fiction, called the bible, never once stated Jesus was called a n****r. How dare you swat me for standing up for my rights for demanding that I be treated as a equal human being. That day I made a life decision that i will not tolerate racial derogatory terms spoken to me. Unfortunately I was swatted multiple times for the same exact reason up until junior high. Terminating me for telling the truth of a caucasian officer kicking a mentally ill man is disgusting. Don’t ever call me a f***ing bully. I want all journalist to utilize every source you have that specializes in collections for your reports. With the discovery and evidence available you will see the truth. Unfortunately, I will not be alive to see my name cleared. That’s what this is about, my name. A man is nothing without his name. Below is a list of locations where I resided from childhood to adulthood.

Cerritos, CA.

Pico Rivera, CA.

La Palma, CA.

Thousand Oaks, CA.

Cedar City, UT.

Pensacola, FL.

Enid, OK.

Yorba Linda, CA.

Las Vegas, NV.

During the BOR an officer named, Sgt. Hernandez, from Los Angeles Port Police testified on behalf of the LAPD. Hernandez stated for the BOR that he arrived at the location of the UOF shortly before I cuffed the suspect. He also stated that he assisted in cuffing the suspect and that’s old the BOR he told me to fix my tie. All of those statements were LIES!!! Hernandez, you arrived at the UOF location up to 30 seconds after I had cuffed Mr. Gettler. All you did was help me lift the suspect to his feet as it was difficult for me to do by myself because of his heavy weight. You did not tell me to fix my tie as the BOR members and everyone else in the room know you lied because the photographic evidence from the UOF scene where Gettler’s injuries were photographed clearly shows me wearing a class B uniform on that day. A class B uniform is a short sleeved uniform blouse. A short sleeved uniform blouse for the LAPD does not have a tie included. This is not Super Troopers uniform, you jackass. Why did you feel the need to embellish and lie about your involvement in the UOF? Are you ashamed that you could not get hired on by any other department other than port police? Do you have delusions of grandeur? What you did was perjury, exactly what Evans did when she stated she did not kick Christopher Gettler.

What they failed to mention in the BOR was Teresa Evans own use of force history during her career on the LAPD. She has admitted that she has a lengthy use of force record and has been flagged several times by risk management. She has a very well known nickname, Chupacabra, which she was very proud to flaunt around the division. She found it very funny and entertaining to draw blood from suspects and arrestees. At one point she even intentionally ripped the flesh off the arm of a woman we had arrested for battery (sprayed her neighbor with a garden water hose). Knowing the woman had thin elastic skin, she performed and Indian burn to the woman’s arm after cuffing her. That woman was in her mid-70′s, a mother and grandmother, and was angry at her tenants who failed to pay rent on time. Something I can completely understand and I am sure many have wanted to do toward tenants who do not pay their rent. Teresa Evans was also demoted from a senior lead officer rank/position for performance issues. During my two months of working patrol with Teresa Evans, I found her as a woman who was very angry that she had been pulled from patrol for a short time because of a domestic violence report made by Long Beach Police Department because of an incident involving her active LAPD officer boyfriend, Dominick Fuentes, and herself. Dominick Fuentes is the same officer investigated for witness tampering. She also was visibly angry on a daily basis that she was going to have to file for bankruptcy because her ex-husband, a former LAPD officer and not Dominick Fuentes, who had left the department, state, and was nowhere to be found had left her with a tax bill and debt that she was unable to pay because of a lack of financial means. Evans, you are a POS and you lied right to the BOR panel when Randy Quan asked you if you kicked Christopher Gettler. You destroyed my life and name because of your actions. Time is up. The time is now to confess to Chief Beck.

I ask that all journalist investigating this story submit request for FOIA with the LAPD to gain access to the BOR transcripts which occurred from 10/08 to 2/09. There, you will see that a video was played for the BOR members of Mr. Christopher Gettler who suffers from Schizophrenia and Dementia stating that he was kicked by a female officer. That video evidence supports my claim that Evans kicked him twice in the upper body and once in the face. I would like all journalist to also request copies of all reports that I had written while employed by LAPD. Whether in the academy, or during my 3 years as a police officer. There are DR#’s attached to each report (investigative report) that I have ever written so they all exist. A FOIA request will most likely be needed to access these at Parker center or at the Personnel/Records. Judge my writin/grammar skills for yourself. The department attempted to paint me as an officer who could not write reports. Even though Sgt. Joel Sydanmaa a training officer who trained me stated for the BOR panel that there was nothing wrong with my report writing and that I was better than all rookie/probationer officers he has ever trained. Officer David Drew stated the same but refused to testify as he did not want to “get involved” with the BOR’s. Contact Sgt. Donald Deming ,(now a Captain at Lompoc PD), Sgt. Thaddeus Faulk, and Sgt. Ed Clark. All will state that my report writing was impeccable. I will tell you this, I always type my reports because I have messy handwriting/penmanship. I never had a single kickback/redlined report at Southwest division and Sgt. Faulk and Sgt. Clark can testify to that. I never received an UNSATISFACTORY on any day or week. The same can be said within the U.S. Naval Reserves. All commanders will state that my report writing was always clear, concise, and impeccable. Even search my AAR (after action reports),chits, Memorandum’s, IIR’s (Intelligence Information Reports) which were written in the Navy. All were pristine.

I had worked patrol at LAPD’s Harbor Division from 2/06 until 7/06 when I was involuntarily recalled back to active duty (US Navy) for a 12 month mobilization/deployment to Centcom in support of OIF/OEF. I returned back to LAPD’s Harbor division on 7/07 and immediately returned to patrol. I worked at Harbor division until 11/07 where I then transferred to Southwest Division. I worked At Southwest division until 6/25/08 when I was relieved of duty.

I have exhausted all available means at obtaining my name back. I have attempted all legal court efforts within appeals at the Superior Courts and California Appellate courts. This is my last resort. The LAPD has suppressed the truth and it has now lead to deadly consequences. The LAPD’s actions have cost me my law enforcement career that began on 2/7/05 and ended on 1/2/09. They cost me my Naval career which started on 4/02 and ends on 2/13. I had a TS/SCI clearance(Top Secret Sensitive Compartmentalized Information clearance) up until shortly after my termination with LAPD. This is the highest clearance a service member can attain other than a Yankee White TS/SCI which is only granted for those working with and around the President/Vice President of the United States. I lost my position as a Commanding Officer of a Naval Security Forces reserve unit at NAS Fallon because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with my mother and sister because of the LAPD. I’ve lost a relationship with close friends because of the LAPD. In essence, I’ve lost everything because the LAPD took my name and new I was INNOCENT!!! Capt Phil Tingirides, Justin Eisenberg, Martella, Randy Quan, and Sgt. Anderson all new I was innocent but decided to terminate me so they could continue Ofcr. Teresa Evans career. I know about the meeting between all of you where Evans attorney, Rico, confessed that she kicked Christopher Gettler (excessive force). Your day has come.

I’m not an aspiring rapper, I’m not a gang member, I’m not a dope dealer, I don’t have multiple babies momma’s. I am an American by choice, I am a son, I am a brother, I am a military service member, I am a man who has lost complete faith in the system, when the system betrayed, slandered, and libeled me. I lived a good life and though not a religious man I always stuck to my own personal code of ethics, ethos and always stuck to my shoreline and true North. I didn’t need the US Navy to instill Honor, Courage, and Commitment in me but I thank them for re-enforcing it. It’s in my DNA.

Luckily I don’t have to live everyday like most of you. Concerned if the misconduct you were apart of is going to be discovered. Looking over your shoulder, scurrying at every phone call from internal affairs or from the Captains office wondering if that is the day PSB comes after you for the suspects you struck when they were cuffed months/years ago or that $500 you pocketed from the narcotics dealer, or when the other guys on your watch beat a transient nearly to death and you never reported the UOF to the supervisor. No, I don’t have that concern, I stood up for what was right but unfortunately have dealt with the reprocussions of doing the right thing and now losing my name and everything I ever stood for. You f***ers knew Evans was guilty of kicking (excessive force) Gettler and you did nothing but get rid of what you saw as the problem, the whistleblower. Gettler himself stated on video tape ( provided for the BOR and in transcripts) he was kicked and even his father stated that his son said he was kicked by Evans when he was released from custody. The video was played for the entire BOR to hear. Tingirides, Eisenberg, and Martella all heard it. You’re going to see what a whistleblower can do when you take everything from him especially his NAME!!!

Look what you did to Sgt. Gavin (now lieutenant) when he exposed the truth of your lying, racism, and PSB cover-ups to frame and convict an innocent man. You can not police yourselves and the consent decree was unsuccessful. Sgt. Gavin, I met you on the range several times as a recruit and as an officer. You’re a good man and I saw it in your eyes an actions.

Self Preservation is no longer important to me. I do not fear death as I died long ago on 1/2/09. I was told by my mother that sometimes bad things happen to good people. I refuse to accept that.

From 2/05 to 1/09 I saw some of the most vile things humans can inflict on others as a police officer in Los Angeles. Unfortunately, it wasn’t in the streets of LA. It was in the confounds of LAPD police stations and shops (cruisers). The enemy combatants in LA are not the citizens and suspects, it’s the police officers.

People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. How ironic that you utilize a fixed glass structure as your command HQ. You use as a luminous building to symbolize that you are transparent, have nothing to hide, or suppress when in essence, concealing, omitting, and obscuring is your forte.

Chief Beck, this is when you need to have that come to Jesus talk with Sgt. Teresa Evans and everyone else who was involved in the conspiracy to have me terminated for doing the right thing. you also need to speak with her attorney, Rico, and his conversation with the BOR members and her confession of guilt in kicking Mr. Gettler. I’ll be waiting for a PUBLIC response at a press conference. When the truth comes out, the killing stops.

Why didn’t you charge me with filing a false police report when I came forward stating that Evans kicked Mr. Christopher Gettler? You file criminal charges against every other officer who is accused and terminated for filing a false police report. You didn’t because you knew I was innocent and a criminal court would find me innocent and expose your department for suppressing the truth and retaliation, that’s why.

The attacks will stop when the department states the truth about my innocence, PUBLICLY!!! I will not accept any type of currency/goods in exchange for the attacks to stop, nor do i want it. I want my name back, period. There is no negotiation. I am not the state department who states they do not negotiate with terrorist, because anybody with a Secret or TS/SCI has seen IIR’s on SIPR and knows that the US state department always negotiates by using CF countries or independent sovereign/neutral country to mediate and compromising.

This department has not changed from the Daryl Gates and Mark Fuhrman days. Those officers are still employed and have all promoted to Command staff and supervisory positions. I will correct this error. Are you aware that an officer (a rookie/probationer at the time) seen on the Rodney King videotape striking Mr. King multiple times with a baton on 3/3/91 is still employed by the LAPD and is now a Captain on the police department? Captain Rolando Solano is now the commanding officer of a LAPD police station (West LA division). As a commanding officer, he is now responsible for over 200 officers. Do you trust him to enforce department policy and investigate use of force investigations on arrestees by his officers? Are you aware Evans has since promoted to Sergeant after kicking Mr. Gettler in the face. Oh, you Violated a citizens civil rights? We will promote you. Same as LAPD did with the the officers from Metro involved in the May Day melee at MacArthur Park. They promoted them to Sergeant (a supervisor role).

No one is saying you can’t be prejudiced or a bigot. We are all human and hold prejudices. If you state that you don’t have prejudices, your lying! But, when you act on it and victimize innocent citizens and fellow innocen officers, than that is a concern.

For you officers who do the job in the name of JUSTICE, those of you who lost honest officers to this event, look at the name of those on the BOR and the investigating officers from PSB and Evans and ask them, how come you couldn’t tell the truth? Why did you terminate an honest officer and cover for a dishonest officer who victimized a mentally ill citizen.

Sometimes humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant race of a species and they inadvertently take kindness for weakness from another individual. You chose wrong.

Terminating officers because they expose a culture of lying, racism (from the academy), and excessive use of force will immediately change. PSB can not police their own and that has been proven. The blue line will forever be severed and a cultural change will be implanted. You have awoken a sleeping giant.

I am here to change and make policy. The culture of LAPD versus the community and honest/good officers needs to and will change. I am here to correct and calibrate your morale compasses to true north.

Those Caucasian officers who join South Bureau divisions (77th,SW,SE, an Harbor) with the sole intent to victimize minorities who are uneducated, and unaware of criminal law, civil law, and civil rights. You prefer the South bureau because a use of force/deadly force is likely and the individual you use UOF on will likely not report it. You are a high value target.

Those Black officers in supervisory ranks and pay grades who stay in south bureau (even though you live in the valley or OC) for the sole intent of getting retribution toward subordinate caucasians officers for the pain and hostile work environment their elders inflicted on you as probationers (P-1′s) and novice P-2′s. You are a high value target. You perpetuated the cycle of racism in the department as well. You breed a new generation of bigoted caucasian officer when you belittle them and treat them unfairly.

Those Hispanic officers who victimize their own ethnicity because they are new immigrants to this country and are unaware of their civil rights. You call them wetbacks to their face and demean them in front of fellow officers of different ethnicities so that you will receive some sort of acceptance from your colleagues. I’m not impressed. Most likely, your parents or grandparents were immigrants at one time, but you have forgotten that. You are a high value target.

Those lesbian officers in supervising positions who go to work, day in day out, with the sole intent of attempting to prove your misandrist authority (not feminism) to degrade male officers. You are a high value target.

Those Asian officers who stand by and observe everything I previously mentioned other officers participate in on a daily basis but you say nothing, stand for nothing and protect nothing. Why? Because of your usual saying, ” I……don’t like conflict”. You are a high value target as well.

Those of you who “go along to get along” have no backbone and destroy the foundation of courage. You are the enablers of those who are guilty of misconduct. You are just as guilty as those who break the code of ethics and oath you swore.

Citizens/non-combatants, do not render medical aid to downed officers/enemy combatants. They would not do the same for you. They will let you bleed out just so they can brag to other officers that they had a 187 caper the other day and can’t wait to accrue the overtime in future court subpoenas. As they always say, “that’s the paramedics job…not mine”. Let the balance of loss of life take place. Sometimes a reset needs to occur.

It is endless the amount of times per week officers arrest an individual, label him a suspect-arrestee-defendant and then before arraignment or trial realize that he is innocent based on evidence. You know what they say when they realize an innocent man just had his life turned upside down?. “I guess he should have stayed at home that day he was discovered walking down the street and matching the suspects description. Oh well, he appeared to be a dirtbag anyways”. Meanwhile the falsely accused is left to pick up his life, get a new, family, friends, and sense of self worth.

Don’t honor these fallen officers/dirtbags. When your family members die, they just see you as extra overtime at a crime scene and at a perimeter. Why would you value their lives when they clearly don’t value yours or your family members lives? I’ve heard many officers who state they see dead victims as ATV’s, Waverunners, RV’s and new clothes for their kids. Why would you shed a tear for them when they in return crack a smile for your loss because of the impending extra money they will receive in their next paycheck for sitting at your loved ones crime scene of 6 hours because of the overtime they will accrue. They take photos of your loved ones recently deceased bodies with their cellphones and play a game of who has the most graphic dead body of the night with officers from other divisions. This isn’t just the 20 something year old officers, this is the 50 year old officers with significant time on the job as well who participate.

You allow an officer, Thaniya Sungruenyos, to attempt to hack into my credit union account and still remain on the job even when Det. Zolezzi shows the evidence that the IP address (provided by LAPFCU) that attempted to hack into my account and change my username and password leads directly to her residence. You even allow this visibly disgusting looking officer to stay on the job when she perjures (lies) in court (Clark County Family Court) to the judge’s face and denies hacking into my personal credit union online account when I attempted to get my restraint order extended. Det. Zolezzi provided the evidence and you still do nothing.

How do you know when a police officer is lying??? When he begins his sentence with, “based on my experience and training”.

No one grows up and wants to be a cop killer. It was against everything I’ve ever was. As a young police explorer I found my calling in life. But, As a young police officer I found that the violent suspects on the street are not the only people you have to watch. It is the officer who was hired on to the department (pre-2000) before polygraphs were standard for all new hires and an substantial vetting in a backround investigation.

To those children of the officers who are eradicated, your parent was not the individual you thought they were. As you get older,you will see the evidence that your parent was a tyrant who loss their ethos and instead followed the path of moral corruptness. They conspired to hide and suppress the truth of misconduct on others behalf’s. Your parent will have a name and plaque on the fallen officers memorial in D.C. But, In all honesty, your parents name will be a reminder to other officers to maintain the oath they swore and to stay along the shoreline that has guided them from childhood to that of a local, state, or federal law enforcement officer.

Bratton, Beck, Hayes, Tingirides, Eisenberg, Martella, Quan, Evans, Hernandez, Villanueva/Gallegos, and Anderson. Your lack of ethics and conspiring to wrong a just individual are over.

Suppressing the truth will leave to deadly consequences for you and your family. There will be an element of surprise where you work, live, eat, and sleep. I will utilize ISR at your home, workplace, and all locations in between. I will utilize OSINT to discover your residences, spouses workplaces, and children’s schools. IMINT to coordinate and plan attacks on your fixed locations. Its amazing whats on NIPR. HUMINT will be utilized to collect personal schedules of targets. I never had the opportunity to have a family of my own, I’m terminating yours. Quan, Anderson, Evans, and BOR members Look your wives/husbands and surviving children directly in the face and tell them the truth as to why your children are dead.

Never allow a LAPPL union attorney to be a retired LAPD Captain,(Quan). He doesn’t work for you, your interest, or your name. He works for the department, period. His job is to protect the department from civil lawsuits being filed and their best interest which is the almighty dollar. His loyalty is to the department, not his client. Even when he knowingly knows your innocent and the BOR also knows your innocent after Christopher Gettler stated on videotape that he was kicked and Evans attorney confessed to the BOR off the record that she kicked Gettler.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants-TJ. This quote is not directed toward the US government which I fully support 100%. This is toward the LAPD who can not monitor itself. The consent decree should not have been lifted, ever.

I know your TTP’s, (techniques, tactics, and procedures). Any threat assessments you you generate will be useless. This is simple, I know your TTP’s and PPR’s. I will mitigate any of your attempts at preservation. ORM is my friend. I will mitigate all risks, threats and hazards. I assure you that Incident Command Posts will be target rich environments. KMA-367 license plate frames are great target indicators and make target selection even easier.

I will conduct DA operations to destroy, exploit and seize designated targets. If unsuccessful or unable to meet objectives in these initial small scale offensive actions, I will reassess my BDA and re-attack until objectives are met. I have nothing to lose. My personal casualty means nothing. Just alike AAF’s, ACM’s, and AIF’s, you can not prevail against an enemy combatant who has no fear of death. An enemy who embraces death is a lose, lose situation for their enemy combatants.

Hopefully you analyst have done your homework. You are aware that I have always been the top shot, highest score, an expert in rifle qualifications in every unit I’ve been in. I will utilize every bit of small arms training, demolition, ordnance, and survival training I’ve been given.

Do you know why we are unsuccessful in asymmetrical and guerrilla warfare in CENTCOM theatre of operations? I’ll tell you. It’s not the inefficiency of our combatant commanders, planning, readiness or training of troops. Much like the Vietnam war, ACM, AAF, foreign fighters, Jihadist, and JAM have nothing to lose. They embrace death as it is a way of life. I simply don’t fear it. I am the walking exigent circumstance you created.

The Violence of action will be HIGH. I am the reason TAC alert was established. I will bring unconventional and asymmetrical warfare to those in LAPD uniform whether on or off duty. ISR is my strength and your weakness. You will now live the life of the prey. Your RD’s and homes away from work will be my AO and battle space. I will utilize every tool within INT collections that I learned from NMITC in Dam Neck. You have misjudged a sleeping giant. There is no conventional threat assessment for me. JAM, New Ba’ath party, 1920 rev BGE, ACM, AAF, AQAP, AQIM and AQIZ have nothing on me. Do not deploy airships or gunships. SA-7 Manpads will be waiting. As you know I also own Barrett .50′s so your APC are defunct and futile.

You better have all your officers radio/phone muster (code 1) on or off duty every hour, on the hour.

Do not attempt to shadow or conduct any type of ISR on me. I have the inventory listing of all UC vehicles at Piper Tech and the home addresses of any INT analyst at JRIC and detachment locations. My POA is always POI and always true. This will be a war of attrition and a Pyrrhic and Camdean Victory for myself. You may have the resources and manpower but you are reactive and predictable in your op plans and TTP’s. I have the strength and benefits of being unpredictable, unconventional, and unforgiving. Do not waste your time with briefs and tabletops.

Whatever pre-planned responses you have established for a scenario like me, shelve it. Whatever contingency plan you have, shelve it. Whatever tertiary plan you’ve created, shelve it. I am a walking exigent circumstance with no OFF or reset button. JRIC, DOJ, LASD, FBI and other local LE can’t assist and should not involve themselves in a matter that does not concern them. For all other agencies, do not involve yourself in this capture or recovery of me. Look at the big picture of the situation. They (LAPD) created the situation. I will harm no outside agency unless it is a deadly force/IDOL situation. With today’s budgeting and fiscal mess, you guys can not afford lose several officers to IOD or KIA/EOW. Plus, other officers should not have to take on the additional duties and responsibilities of dead officers. Think about their families, outside agencies, Chiefs/Directors.

Outside agencies and individual officers on patrol. If you recognize my vehicle, and confirm it is my vehicle thru a dmv/want warrant check. It behoves you to respond to dispatch that your query was for information purposes only. If you proceed with a traffic stop or attempt to notify other officers of my location or for backup you will not live to see the medal of valor you were hoping to receive for your actions. Think before you attempt to intervene. You will not survive. Your family will receive that medal of valor posthumously. It will gather dust on the fireplace mantel for years. Then one day, it will go in a shoe box with other memories. Your mother will lose a son or daughter. Your significant other will be left alone, but they will find someone else to fill your void in the future and make them just as happy. Your children, if you have them, will call someone else mommy or daddy. Don’t be selfish. Your vest is only a level II or IIIA, think about it.

No amount of IMINT, MASINT, and ELINT assist you in capturing me. I am off the grid. You better use your feet, tongue and every available DOD/ NON-DOD HUMINT agency, contractor to find me. I know your route to and from home, and your division. I know your significant others routine, your children’s best friends and recess. I know Your Sancha’s gym hours and routine. I assure you that the casualty rate will be high. Because of that, no one will remember your name. You will merely be a DR# and “that guy” who was KIA/EOW or long term IOD/light duty in the kit room. This is exactly why “station 500″ was created. Unfortunately, orphanages will be making a comeback in the 21st century.

If you had a well regulated AWB, this would not happen. The time is now to reinstitute a ban that will save lives. Why does any sportsman need a 30 round magazine for hunting? Why does anyone need a suppressor? Why does anyone need a AR15 rifle? This is the same small arms weapons system utilized in eradicating Al Qaeda, Taliban, and every enemy combatant since the Vietnam war. Don’t give me that crap that its not a select fire or full auto rifle like the DoD uses. That’s bullshit because troops who carry the M-4/M-16 weapon system for combat ops outside the wire rarely utilize the select fire function when in contact with enemy combatants. The use of select fire probably isn’t even 1% in combat. So in essence, the AR-15 semiautomatic rifle is the same as the M-4/M-16. These do not need to be purchased as easily as walking to your local Walmart or striking the enter key on your keyboard to “add to cart”. All the firearms utilized in my activities are registered to me and were legally purchased at gun stores and private party transfers. All concealable weapons (pistols) were also legally register in my name at police stations or FFL’s. Unfortunately, are you aware that I obtained class III weapons (suppressors) without a background check thru NICS or DROS completely LEGALLY several times? I was able to use a trust account that I created on quicken will maker and a $10 notary charge at a mailbox etc. to obtain them legally. Granted, I am not a felon, nor have a DV misdemeanor conviction or active TRO against me on a NCIC file. I can buy any firearm I want, but should I be able to purchase these class III weapons (SBR’s, and suppressors) without a background check and just a $10 notary signature on a quicken will maker program? The answer is NO. I’m not even a resident of the state i purchased them in. Lock n Load just wanted money so they allow you to purchase class III weapons with just a notarized trust, military ID. Shame on you, Lock n Load. NFA and ATF need new laws and policies that do not allow loopholes such as this. In the end, I hope that you will realize that the small arms I utilize should not be accessed with the ease that I obtained them. Who in there right mind needs a f***ing silencer!!! who needs a freaking SBR AR15? No one. No more Virginia Tech, Columbine HS, Wisconsin temple, Aurora theatre, Portland malls, Tucson rally, Newtown Sandy Hook. Whether by executive order or thru a bi-partisan congress an assault weapons ban needs to be re-instituted. Period!!!

Mia Farrow said it best. “Gun control is no longer debatable, it’s not a conversation, its a moral mandate.”

Sen. Feinstein, you are doing the right thing in leading the re-institution of a national AWB. Never again should any public official state that their prayers and thoughts are with the family. That has become cliche’ and meaningless. Its time for action. Let this be your legacy that you bestow to America. Do not be swayed by obstacles, antagaonist, and naysayers. Remember the innocent children at Austin, Kent, Stockton, Fullerton, San Diego, Iowa City, Jonesboro, Columbine, Nickel Mines, Blacksburg, Springfield, Red Lake, Chardon, Aurora, and Newtown. Make sure this never happens again!!!

In my cache you will find several small arms. In the cache, Bushmaster firearms, Remington precision rifles, and AAC Suppressors (silencers). All of these small arms are manufactured by Cerberus/Freedom Group. The same company responsible for the Portland mall shooting, Webster , NY, and Sandy Hook massacre.

You disrespect the office of the POTUS/Presidency and Commander in Chief. You call him Kenyan, mongroid, halfrican, muslim, and FBHO when in essence you are to address him as simply, President. The same as you did to President George W. Bush and all those in the highest ranking position of our land before him. Just as I always have. You question his birth certificate, his educational and professional accomplishments, and his judeo-christian beliefs. You make disparaging remarks about his dead parents. You never questioned the fact that his former opponent, the honorable Senator John McCain, was not born in the CONUS or that Bush had a C average in his undergrad. Electoral Candidates children (Romney) state they want to punch the president in the face during debates with no formal repercussions. No one even questioned the fact that the son just made a criminal threat toward the President. You call his wife a Wookie. Off the record, I love your new bangs, Mrs. Obama. A woman whose professional and educational accomplishments are second to none when compared to recent First wives. You call his supporters, whether black, brown, yellow, or white, leeches, FSA, welfare recipients, and ni$&er lovers. You say this openly without any discretion. Before you start with your argument that you believe I would vote for Obama because he has the same skin color as me, f*** you. I didn’t vote in this last election as my choice of candidate, John Huntsman, didn’t win the primary candidacy for his party. Mr. President, I haven’t agreed with all of your decisions but of course I haven’t agreed with all of your predecessors decisions. I think you’ve done a hell of a job with what you have been dealt and how you have managed it. I shed a tear the night you were initially elected President in 2008. I never thought that day would occur. A black man elected president in the U.S. in my lifetime. I cracked a smiled when you were re-elected in 2012 because I really didn’t think you were going to pull that one off. Romney, stop being a sore loser. You could’ve exited graciously and still contributed significantly to public service, not now. Mr. President, get back to work. Many want to see you fail as they have stated so many times previously. Unfortunately, if you fail, the U.S. fails but your opponents do not concern themselves about the big picture. Do not forget your commitment to transparency in your administration. Sometimes I believe your administration forgets that. America, you will realize today and tomorrow that this world is made up of all human beings who have the same general needs and wants in life for themselves, their kin, community, and state. That is the freedom to LIVE and LOVE. They may eat different foods, enjoy different music, have different dialects, or speak a second language, but in essence are no different from you and I. This is America. We are not a perfect sovereign country as we have our own flaws but we are the closest that will ever exist.

Unfortunately, this is not the first time an authoritative figure has lied on me.

Mr. Freid, assistant principal, Cypress HS. Remember when you lied to my mother and the police officer in your office about stating that you never stated to me in a private conversation that you know the theft suspect (Miranda) stole my watch. Let me refresh your memory. A physical education teachers assistant, a student, stole the list of combination codes to peoples lockers, from the P.E. teacher. That student then opened many of those lockers and stole students personal property. My watch was taken in that multi theft an I reported it to you. A week later you discovered that the theft suspect was Paul Miranda, a student. You stated to me in private that you know for a fact he stole my property. When I attempted to retrieve my property from the suspect. Campus security was called and you lied and stated that you never stated to me that you “know he stole my watch”. You sat there and lied to their faces right in front of me. You said it with such a deliberate, stern face. I never forgot that and was not surprised when 13 years later I was lied on again in the BOR by Teresa Evans. maybe you can confess to your family at the very least in the private of your own home. After that, contact my mother and apologize for lying to her in 1996.

If possible, I want my brain preserved for science/research to study the effects of severe depression on an individual’s brain. Since 6/26/08 when I was relieved of duty and 1/2/09 when I was terminated I have been afflicted with severe depression. I’ve had two CT scans during my lifetime that are in my medical record at Kaiser Permanente. Both are from concussions resulting from playing football. The first one was in high school, 10/96. The second was in college and occurred in 10/99. Both were conducted at Kaiser Permanente hospitals in LA/Orange county. These two CT scans should give a good baseline for my brain activity before severe depression began in late 2008.

Sure, many of you “law enforcement experts and specialist” will state, “in all my years this is the worst……..”, Stop!!! That’s not important. Ask yourselves what would cause somebody to take these drastic measures like I did. That’s what is important.

To my friends listed below, I wish we could have grown old together and spent more time together. When you reminisce of our friendship and experiences, think of that and that only. Do not dwell on my recent actions the last few days. This was a necessary evil that had to be executed in order for me to obtain my NAME back. The only thing that changes policy and garners attention is death.

Luis Sanchez, greatest friend, Marine officer, aviator, and an even better father and husband. I Couldn’t have had a better big brother than you. Your spoken wisdom was always retained by me, you old salty Mustang. You sternly told me that no matter what I accomplish I will always be a ni#%er in many individuals eyes. At the time, I did not comprehend your words. I do now. I never forgot the quote you state below. I love you bro.

I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever feeling sorry for itself. –D.H. Lawrence

Jason Valadao, greatest friend, Naval officer, aviator, Great Father, husband, doctor, and even better human being. I always strived to live my life parallel to your similar values and personal disciplines. Danika is lucky to have found a man like yourself, and you are fortunate to have married an irrefutable imperfect woman. Always focus on your IMMEDIATE family as they are the ones who have loved you unconditionally and always been their to support you in difficult times. I always lived my life as WWJD (what would Jason do). Danika, take care of this guy. Jason, I’m sorry I missed your wedding and you had to find another best man. I’m sorry my predicament with the department stopped me from watching you and Danika get married and arguing with you about issues that were insignificant when I was really angry at the LAPD for what they did to me. I’m deeply sorry and I love you guys.

James Usera, great friend, attorney, father, husband, and the most cynical/blatant/politically incorrect friend a man can have. Best quality about you in college and now is that you never sugar coated the truth. I will miss our political discussions that always turned argumentative. Thanks for introducing me to outdoor sports like fishing, hunting, mudding, and also respect for the land and resources. Us city boys don’t get out much like you Alaskans. You even introduced me to PBR. A beer, that when you’re a poor college student is completely acceptable to get buzzed off of. I’m sorry I’ll never get to go on that moose and bear hunt with you. I love you bro.

Kinta Smith, greatest friend, accountant, entrepreneur, and even better Human being. You are probably the most well balanced person I’ve ever met and the most driven for success. In college, and after graduation, I was inspired by your personal drive. Never settle. When you make your first million, promise me you won’t forget to enjoy it a bit. I know your first reaction will be to invest it somewhere else. Spend a little, just a little. I love you bro.

Jason Young, great friend, entrepeneur, husband and father. You showed me the importance of fatherhood and friendship. Love you bro.

Suzie Clark Cunningham, Kassandra Harrell, Melinda Yates, Cal Jackson, Ryan Smith, The Rebelledos, The Banks, Ben Bines, J. Work, Bill O’neill, Jeremy Fletcher, and Rob Harriston.

You guys were all important and very special to me. Don’t be angry with me. I missed some of your weddings and unfortunately, some of your funerals. This was a necessary evil.

Some say it is my fault that I was terminated. Yes, DDX, I remember you stating this to me in an angry fit. You said that I should have kept my mouth shut about another officer’s misconduct. Maybe you were right. But I’m not built like others, it’s not in my DNA and my history has always shown that. When you view the video of the suspect stating he was kicked by Evans, maybe you will see that I was a decent person after all. I told the truth. It still hurt that you abandoned me in my time of need. I hope you’re happy, that’s all I ever wanted for you.

Sgt. Leonard Perez, you meant well but you should have known with your time on the job that the department would attempt to protect someone like Evans because of her time on the job, personal friendships, and ethicity. I’m not angry with you, but you should have known as an IA investigator.

Sgt Maggie Faust LPPD, Ofcr John Thomas LPPD (ret), and Chief Eric Nunez LPPD, your guidance and mentoring as a young police explorer was second to none and invaluable as a young man, police officer, and naval officer. Sgt Faust, you forewarned me long ago about joining LAPD as they were “different” and operated differently from other modern law enforcement agencies. I now know it was your humbleness and respect for all who wear the badge and protect their communities that you didn’t just express what you wanted to say, that they lack values and basic ethics as law enforcement officers. Chief Nunez, your f***ing awesome. Thanks for the long talks over the years when I was an explorer, college student, Naval officer, and Police officer. Your are a great leader and carry your heart on your sleeve. Your son will be a great Air Force officer with the upringing you provided. John, what can I say? Your just an awesome person and my first exposure to what law enforcement was really about was on our ride alongs. Your realistic approach and empathetic approach to treating all people as humans first is something I carried with me daily. Thank you, every one of you.

Dr. Funahashi, thank you for the superb surgery you performed on my knee on 7/98 in Irvine, CA. I never had the opportunity to thank you for allowing me to live a life free of knee joint pain. Thank you.

CM1 Bissett (Ret.), I learned more from you about leadership than most of my own commanders. You lived by a strict ethos of get it done, and get it done right. I wanted to attend your retirement, I really did. But because of my predicament I was unable to. Hope you and Ritchie are still together. I’ve always held you in high regard.

Sgt Maj. Kenneth “Rock” Rocquemore USMC, Thank you for the intense instruction and mentorship and time spent forging me into a never quit officer. You were challenging as a DI. You made sure the vicious and intense personality I possess was discovered. On a lighter note….Don’t feel humbled you never broke me. I made it a personal goal to never give up years before. The Corp is lucky to have you at the front. Your leadership is essential and needed for all marines, especially staff NCO’s and mentorship and advisement to company grade officers. You are the epitome of a US marine and never forget that.

I thank my friends for the awesome shared experiences. I thank the unnamed women I dated over my lifetime for the great and sometimes not so great sex.

It’s kind of sad I won’t be around to view and enjoy The Hangover III. What an awesome trilogy. Todd Phillips, don’t make anymore Hangovers after the third, takes away the originality of its foundation. World War Z looks good and The Walking Dead season 3 (second half) looked intriguing. Damn, gonna miss shark week.

Mr. Vice President, do your due diligence when formulating a concise and permanent national AWB plan. Future generations of Americans depend on your plan and advisement to the president. I’ve always been a fan of yours and consider you one of the few genuine and charismatic politicians. Damn, sounds like an oxymoron calling you an honest politician. It’s the truth.

Hillary Clinton. You’ll make one hell of a president in 2016. Much like your husband, Bill, you will be one of the greatest. Look at Castro in San Antonio as a running mate or possible secretary of state. He’s (good people) and I have faith and confidence in him. Look after Bill. He was always my favorite President. Chelsea grew up to be one hell of an attractive woman. No disrespect to her husband.

Gov. Chris Christie. What can I say? You’re the only person I would like to see in the White House in 2016 other than Hillary. You’re America’s no shit taking uncle. Do one thing for your wife, kids, and supporters. Start walking at night and eat a little less, not a lot less, just a little. We want to see you around for a long time. Your leadership is greatly needed.

Wayne LaPierre, President of the NRA, you’re a vile and inhumane piece of shit. You never even showed 30 seconds of empathy for the children, teachers, and families of Sandy Hook. You deflected any type of blame/responsibility and directed it toward the influence of movies and the media. You are a failure of a human being. May all of your immediate and distant family die horrific deaths in front of you.

Chris Matthews, Joe Scarborough, Pat Harvey, Brian Williams, Soledad Obrien, Wolf Blitzer, Meredith Viera, Tavis Smiley, and Anderson Cooper, keep up the great work and follow Cronkite’s lead. I hold many of you in the same regard as Tom Brokaw and the late Peter Jennings. Cooper, stop nagging and berating your guest, they’re your (guest). Mr. Scarborough, we met at McGuire’s pub in P-cola in 2002 when I was stationed there. It was an honor conversing with you about politics, family, and life.

Willie Geist, you’re a talented and charismatic journalist. Stop with all the talk show shenanigans and get back to your core of reporting. Your future is brighter than most.

Revoke the citizenship of Fareed Zakaria and deport him. I’ve never heard a positive word about America or its interest from his mouth, ever. On the same day, give Piers Morgan an indefinite resident alien and Visa card. Mr. Morgan, the problem that many American gun owners have with you and your continuous discussion of gun control is that you are not an American citizen and have an accent that is distinct and clarifies that you are a foreigner. I want you to know that I agree with you 100% on enacting stricter firearm laws but you must understand that your critics will always have in the back of their mind that you are native to a country that we won our sovereignty from while using firearms as a last resort in defense and you come from a country that has no legal private ownership of firearms. That is disheartening to American gun owners and rightfully so.

The honorable President George H.W. Bush, they never give you enough credit for your successful Presidency. You were always one of my favorite Presidents (2nd favorite). I hope your health improves greatly. You are the epitome of an American and service to country.

General Petraeus, you made a mistake that the majority of men make once, twice, or unfortunately many times in a lifetime. You are human. You thought with your penis. It’s okay.I personally believe you should have never resigned and told your critics to shove it. You only answer to two people regarding the affair, your wife and children, period. I hope you return to government service to your country as it is visibly in your DNA.

General Colin Powell, your book “My American Journey” solidified my decision to join the military after college. I had always intended to serve, but your book and journey motivated me. You are an inspiration to all Americans and influenced me greatly.

To all SEA’s (senior enlisted advisers), you are just as important if not a greater viability to large and small commands. It’s time you take a more active role in leading your enlisted and advising officers. These are not your twilight years or time to relax. You can either strengthen the tip of the spear, or make it brittle. You decide.

Pat Harvey, I’ve always thought you carried yourself professionally and personally the way a strong black woman should. Your articulation and speech is second to none. You are the epitome of a journalist/anchor. You are America.

Ellen Degeneres, continue your excellent contribution to entertaining America and bringing the human factor to entertainment. You changed the perception of your gay community and how we as Americans view the LGBT community. I congratulate you on your success and opening my eyes as a young adult, and my generation to the fact that you are know different from us other than who you choose to love. Oh, and you Prop 8 supporters, why the f*** do you care who your neighbor marries. Hypocritical pieces of shit.

Westboro Baptist Church, may you all burn slowly in a fire, not from smoke inhalation, but from the flames and only the flames.

Tebow, I really wanted to see you take charge of an offense again and the game. You are not a good QB by todays standards, but you are a great football player who knows how to lead a team and WIN. You will be “Tebowing” when you reach your next team. I have faith in you. Get out of that circus they call the Jets and away from the reality TV star, Rex Ryan, and Mark Rapist Sanchez.

Christopher Walz, you impressed me in Inglorious Basterds. After viewing Django Unchained, I was sold. I have come to the conclusion that you are well on your way to becoming one of the greats if not already and show glimpses of Daniel Day Lewis and Morgan Freeman-esque type qualities of greatness. Trust me when I say that you will be one of the greatest ever.

Jennifer Beals, Serena Williams, Grae Drake, Lisa Nicole-Carson, Diana Taurasi, N’bushe Wright, Brenda Villa, Kate Winslet, Ashley Graham, Erika Christensen, Gabrielle Union, Isabella Soprano, Zain Verjee, Tamron Hall, Gina Carano, America Ferrara, Giana Michaels, Nene, Natalie Portman, Queen Latifah, Michelle Rodriguez, Anjelah Johnson, Kelly Clarkson, Nora Jones, Laura Prepon, Margaret Cho, and Rutina Wesley, you are THE MOST beautiful women on this planet, period. Never settle, professionally or personally.

Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” is the greatest piece of music ever, period. Hanz Zimmer, William Bell, Eric Clapton, BB King, Bob Marley, Sam Cooke, Metallica, Rob Zombie, Nora Jones, Marvin Gaye, Jay-Z, and the King (Louis Armstrong) are musical prodigies.

Jeffrey Toobin and David Gergen, you are political geniuses and modern scholars. Hopefully Toobin is nominated for the Supreme Court and implements some damn common sense and reasoning instead of partisan bickering. But in true Toobin fashion, we all know he would not accept the nomination.

John and Ken from KFI, never mute your facts and personal opinions. You are one of the few media personalities who speak the truth, even when the truth is not popular. I will miss listening to your discussions.

Bill Handel, your effin awesome. For years I enjoyed your show.

Anthony Bourdain, you’re a modern renaissance man who epitomizes the saying “too cool for school”.

Larry David, Kevin Hart, the late Patrice Oneal, Lisa Lampanelli, Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, Louis CK, Dave Chapelle, Jon Stewart, Wanda Sykes, Dennis Miller, and Jeff Ross are pure geniuses. I’m a big fan of all of your work. As a child my mom caught me watching Def Jam comedy at midnight when I should have been asleep. Instead of scolding me, the next night she let me stay up late and watch George Carlin, Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor comedy specials with her for hours. My sides were sore for days.

Larry David, I agree. 72-82 degrees is way to hot in a residence. 68 , degrees is perfect.

Cyclist, I have no problem sharing the road with you. But, at least go the f***ing speed limit posted or get off the road!!! That is a feasible request. Livestrong you fraudulent assholes.

Cardinal Mahoney, you are in essence a predator yourself as you enabled your subordinates to molest multiple children in the church over many decades. May you die a long and slow painful death.

If you continuously followed me while I was walking at dusk/night I would confront you as well. Too bad Trayvon didn’t smash your skull completely open, Zim. While Trayvon’s body erodes to bones 6 feet under, Zimmerman has put on no less than 40 pounds while out on bail. Zimmerman was arrested for battery on a Peace officer and avoided jail/prison because he completed a diversion program. Thats a history of being an asshole. Zimmerman couldn’t get hired by a LE agency because of poor credit/and a history of violence/restraining orders with women. So what does he do? Designate himself, neighborhood watch captain and make complaints to his city council about the horrible work ethic and laziness of the officers patrolling his neighborhood. Good one Zim. How classy that your father attempts to use his veterans status “disabled veteran” during your bail hearing but doesn’t state what his disability percentage is. Prior service personnel know it can be 5% disability to 100%. You and your attorneys always avoid mentioning your fathers occupation as a magistrate/judge because I’m sure he’s utilized his position to get you out of way more jams then the public has discovered and that your family is not indigent. Oh, tell your wife to stop perjuring herself in court.


Anonymous, you are hated, vilified, and considered an enemy to the state. I personally view you as a culture and a necessity that brings truth to a cloaked world. Forge ahead!

Charlie Sheen, you’re effin awesome.

My opinion on women in combat MOS’, Designators, Rates, and AFSC’s. I wish all of you who attempt to pursue combat occupational roles the greatest success in completing, graduating, and qualifying in their respective schools/courses. Many want to see you fail. Remember, everyone of you is a pioneer. There was a time when they didn’t allow blacks to fight the good fight. This is your civil rights. Don’t quit!!!

It’s time to allow gay service member’s spouses to utilize the same benefits that all heterosexual dependents are eligible for. Medical, Dental, Tricare, Deers, SGLI, BX, Commissary, Milstar, MWR, etc. Flag officers, lets be honest. You can’t really give a valid argument to as why gays shouldn’t be eligible as every month a new state enacts laws that allow same sex marriage.

LGBT community and supporters, the same way you have the right to voice your opinion on acceptance of gay marriage, Chick Fil-A has a right to voice their beliefs as well. That’s what makes America so great. Freedom of expression. Don’t be assholes and boycott/degrade their business and customers who patronize the locations. They make some damn good chicken! Vandalizing (graffiti) their locations does not help any cause.

Mr. Bill Cosby, you are a reasonable and talented man who has spoken the truth of the cultural anomalies within the black communities that need to change now. The black communities’ resentment toward you is because they don’t like hearing the truth or having their clear and evident dirty laundry aired to the nation. The problem is, the country is not blind nor dumb. They believe we are animals. Do not mute your unvarnished truthful speech or moral compass. Blacks must strive for more in life than bling, hoes, and cars. The current culture is an epidemic that leaves them with no discernible future. They’re suffocating and don’t even know it. MLK Jr. Would be mortified at what he worked so hard for in our acceptance as equal beings and how unfortunately we stopped progressing and began digressing. Chicago’s youth violence is a prime example of how our black communities values have declined. We can not address this nation’s intolerant issues until we address our own communities morality issues first. Accountability. We need to hold ou”

Posted in My thoughts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

The Washington Post Mocks 600 Homeless Men and Women at D.C. General Hospital

Yesterday I wrote a blog here about being an at-risk homeless entrepreneur. In short, I shared that my car shut down while I was going 60 mph on the highway this weekend, we managed to get to the side of the road and within thirty minutes the car was gone.

You May Also Like: One Horrible Myth About Homelessness

The police took it. For three years (which I consider to be long-term homeless since the average life-span of homelessness is 3-4 months) this car was my house, carrying all of my belongings or providing a place for my daughter and I to sleep.

This photo is not to be used without my personal, expressed written permission. You do not have permission to use this photo, download it or share it independent of this article without my permission. - Ressurrection Graves

This photo is not to be used without my personal, expressed written permission. You do not have permission to use this photo, download it or share it independent of this article without my permission. – Ressurrection Graves

The world of being homeless is awful, and unless you have been homeless you have absolutely no idea how to combat the issue. Petula Dvorak of the Washington Post took a stab at it today, and while I am happy to find that there was an article written about the overcrowded make-shift shelter that is D.C. General Hospital, I am disappointed that she could not find one expert to talk about how to overcome homelessness.

Her article only made us aware that there are 600 young children who are homeless. She did not offer a call to action, and she even highlighted what most people without experience mention, that it’s the homeless person’s fault that they are homeless in the first place. So much for offering a solution.

In her article she somewhat contradicts her statement that,

No, this is not a world full of innocents. The D.C. General shelter is a showcase of bad decisions, social ills and generations of defeat. – Petula Dvorak, The Washington Post article “600 Homeless children in D.C. and no one seems to care”

She offered us examples of a married woman, and man who were working at McDonald’s and Walmart respectively when hours were cut and no benefits were offered. As I said yesterday, it makes no sense for me to go get a job for minimum wage because it will not solve my problem, and it does not prevent homelessness.

You May Also Like: Emergency: If you build it will they really come?

Housing prevents homelessness, and it has been proven that housing people actually saves the government boat loads of money. Homeless people are more likely to get employed once they are housed too.

The other thing I find disappointing about the article is that we don’t know the real demographic of the people who are in this shelter. How many of them have AIDS and can’t afford medicine? How many of them are suffering internally because of a mental illness, or other issues that can date back to being sexually abused?

Homelessness is deeper than the surface and I’m proud of the person who was too “embarrassed” as the writer stated to give their name. What benefit did they have to do so? Did you offer these people any kind of help when you wrote their story? Did you get them out of there?

I have so many questions about this Washington Post article that I could leave a comment with all of the other people who were being negative, this deserved its own space.

I had so many questions about this Washington Post article that I could not leave a comment with all of the other people who were being negative, this deserved its own space.

What about the conditions of the shelter? Are there rats jumping over these children at night? And, why are we only concerned with the children? Are you intending to have some saviors come in and take these children from their parents?

An article friday said that D.C. is the most literate city in the United States. Are these people literate? One young woman you mentioned was a Howard University student. Did you offer her support in finding employment? I am clearly literate, and lack of capital mixed with other circumstances lead to my personal crisis. I lost my business, my home foreclosed and we were left with our car.

I do not see how the article in the Washington Post does anything to end homelessness, calling the community to action. It sounds more like gossip that will take place around the water cooler, and on social networks. If you read some of the comments below the article it will utterly disgust you.

Washington Post, before you decide to allow one of your “columnists” to write an article about the plight of homelessness, you need to make sure that the article does not make a mockery of the men and women that are being written about.

About 4 years ago I volunteered with an organization that was supporting women in the shelter at the former DC General Hospital. I am not a stranger to the area but could not find the shelter entrance on the campus that also houses DC Jail and other medical and mental health services.

After a few calls and directions I was lead across a parking lot and loading dock then behind a building to the women’s shelter entrance.  The pathway behind the building led to a courtyard with one street light and a row of tinted glass windows and doors. Not a safe place for single, vulnerable women trying to get their lives back on track.

The shelter was housed in the former cafeteria. The glass doors were tinted but breakable by anyone intent on doing harm. There was a crack in the door and tape had been placed on it. When I entered the old, dark cafeteria I was stuck by the dozens of run down bunk beds shoved into such a small space.

I recall counting well over 50 bunk beds. The women were literally living on top of each other. There was less than two feet between each old bunk bed. The living arrangement was not welcoming, motivating, or safe.- Nicki Sanders, MSW The Teen Toolbox

At the end of the article contact information was offered. I don’t want to contact Petula Dvorak, because I already know that she ended her relationship with these hurting people when she received what was needed for her story. How do I help them? You did not offer a way for us to support them.

Tell me, why did it make sense to Petula Dvorak that the intake worker would be dumb enough to want the telephone number of an abusive boyfriend to verify the last residence of a homeless person? Does that not offer access to an individual who can be harmed or killed in a domestic violence dispute?

Sullivan said shelter officials wanted a list of everyone she’s lived with in the past three years before they’d let her and her baby in while it was snowing outside. So she gave them that and the intake counselors called those people — be they abusive boyfriends or angry landlords — “no less than 20 times.” – The Washington Post article “600 Homeless children in D.C. and no one seems to care”

Homeless people are not all uneducated, unworthy good-for-nothings. Some of them are smarter than you.

Homeless people are not all uneducated, unworthy good-for-nothings. Some of them are smarter than you.

Does that not offer personal information to someone who the victim fears could gain access to her? Even if the situation were not violent, most people don’t really want their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend to know that they have fallen on disappointing times.

Homelessness is deeper than an article. I feel mocked and I want an apology. Washington DC is the home of the National Coalition for the Homeless. I am from here, and I am stationed here. All they had to do was google something related to homelessness, and it is very likely that one of my articles like One Horrible Myth About Homelessness would have come up as several have gone viral in the past.

You May Also Like: Homeless Heir to Founder of Las Vegas Fortune Dies 

For those who care, there are many reasons why people become homeless. I have added a few links in this article for you to understand why and how people become homeless, and how to develop compassion in order to support them in overcoming their situation.

At DC General Hospital another article captured Mayor Vincent Gray’s thoughts in a statement:

The Legal Clinic reported that the General Hospital has had heat outages in many common areas and rooms since Christmas. “One client, who had an infant daughter, reported that she had been requesting a space heater from staff for three weeks to no avail,” the advocacy organization stated. She was not moved to a room with heat until the organization confronted city’s housing department about the problem.

Families have also reported that the building is “infested with mice, bedbugs, and water bugs. Some families also reported being bitten by spiders.”

This humanitarian catastrophe has been met by city officials with indifference and denial. Mayor Gray, questioned by Washington Post reporter Courtland Milloy about the Legal Clinic findings, declared, “I’m over at that shelter all the time, and I don’t think anybody can credibly say that we aren’t doing things to help the homeless.”

“I haven’t seen any bedbugs,” Gray said. “I’m always interacting with those young people over there and, frankly, I’ve never seen any evidence of what that advocacy group is talking about.” – World Socialist Website

If you are homeless and you need:

  • someone to talk to,
  • someone to walk you through overcoming homelessness,
  • someone to find you alternative housing solutions
  • someone to negotiate housing alternative that you have found

or something not listed here, this is my husband and my life’s work. We met in a homeless shelter. We have an extraordinary love story, meeting in an unthinkable place. We understand that no two homeless situations are the same, and whatever we can do to support you, we will. Later this year, we plan to officially launch the Rapha Response Group.

Rapha Response Group is a boutique agency offering an alternative shelter solution for homeless individuals seeking transitional housing. We offer a matchmaking service between an individual or family willing to foster hope, healing and temporary housing to homeless teens, veterans, individuals, and families.

We provide training to both the hosting individual or family on the nuances of homelessness, and training, support groups and individual supportive case work for the homeless individuals who we help find affordable and alternative housing. The host families receive a small stipend for their contribution to ending homelessness in their community.

If you are a person:

  • with resources for homeless people and want to be added to our database, please connect with us at 202.717.7377 (RESS)
  • with access to a larger platform to generate interest, connections, speaking opportunities or media to help end homelessness please call us at: 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Dvorak thought she was writing an article about those poor children who are homeless but she missed an opportunity to talk about why these people are there and how these people can be supported in overcoming the barriers that may keep them chronically homeless.

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. She is an author and professional speaker on topics surrounding child sexual abuse and homelessness. She is available for speaking engagements and interviews by calling 202.717.7377 (RESS) or emailing: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com. 

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Long Suffering: The Face and Lifestyle of Homelessness, Teenage Moms | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Emergency: If you build it, do they really come?

Last night, my car did some weird thing and stopped in the middle of the highway. We were in 30 degree weather. The police called a tow truck before I could work anything out. They were there within a half hour. My car is gone. The car that I slept in when I was homeless. I am not materialistic, more sentimental than anything. My car is a necessity – and a liability, not a want and an asset (financially speaking). I’m blown, not without faith but definitely feeling like I am unable to be the solution to my own problem. $240 tow and a $65 a day problem.

Many of you do not know that I offer pastoral counseling. I do not feel that this is appropriate to “market” but people find me from all over the country as God leads. Much of my work is service that I do not get paid for because it is ministry. I’m always busy working, and serving.

Producing a book, developing healing and prevention programs, having an event these are all income generators that support my ability to be there for my family and for people who are overcoming child sexual abuse, whose children are taken and given to pedophile parents, homeless people who need help overcoming personal crisis, and entrepreneurs who call for counsel and support.

I never question whether I am doing what I am called to do, I know that I am. What I do find questionable is why there is no action from most people who say that I have impacted or inspired them in some way. Why after proving myself, offering constant free content, staying relevant and providing education on subjects that are useful to your life, I am not able to afford to get my car out of the impound?

I want to be careful, and very clear that I do not feel that my readers hold a responsibility or an obligation to support me but you have to understand that from an entrepreneurial perspective, you have no business if you have no clients. So, I may be breaking some kind of secret entrepreneur code here, but the reality is that it is part of our job to master marketing, and sales. What makes you buy my product?

In personal reflection, I believe that when something unexpected happens, it doesn’t have to be a crisis just because it is an emergency. And in determining how I’ve gotten to this place where an emergency does mean it is a crisis, I must find out how to be more effective in communicating the benefits and values of my products or in closing the sale.

The solution is not for me to go and work at Walmart. This would be ignorant and only silence what God has already given a voice. The reality is that getting a job, any job is not sufficient income. Many jobs like Walmart, and other places that provide jobs and not careers in your field serve as a monetary distraction to pursuing your ultimate goals.

There is not enough money at the end of the paycheck for you to invest in your business or to do what is necessary for you to become more valuable in your business. There are many examples of entrepreneurs who have come through the same channels that I have who, eventually struck oil, or water in the well landing them the client, contract, or level of business that would in fact sustain them. Giving up, and giving in is not the solution especially when you have trademarks, and niche work that solves a problem in the world.

What will it take for you to support me? I ask this question literally – soliciting your feedback. I offer speaking engagements, I have a memoir, and a new book coming out. You know that I can write, you read my work. You also know that I can speak because I have something to share, that may be a different perspective than others who share their stories. No one can tell my story or add the insights that I do, and the same applies to you.

I am a Nationally Certified Massage Therapist, and Fibromyalgia Certified Therapist. I also have a degree in massage. My massage tables and chair were forfeited during my homelessness, so when I sell enough books I’ll go buy my table again. I have a space to massage.

Click on the link below to find out how you can get this package.

Click on the link below to find out how you can get this package.

Seriously, what would it take for you to say, “I want to be a part of Ressurrection’s success?” or “I really want to invest/buy/spread the word about her work so that more people can overcome their crisis’?”

Although child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable subject, it is no longer a silent epidemic. It is however a $124 billion epidemic according to the Center for Disease Control. 80% of substance/narcotics abusers were sexually abused, 80% of those who are acute/chronic mentally ill – i.e., depression, schizophrenia etc have been sexually abused.

93% of sexual predators are religious, and child sexual abuse accounts for the reason why most people become prostitutes. 97% of homeless women have been sexually abused and/or raped. I could go on, but my point for this paragraph is that my subject is relevant. You or someone you know have been sexually abused, and I want to end it.

Yes, my husband is amazing. He is awesome and my personal life has nothing to do with business. You go to work, and at the end of two weeks you get a check. An entrepreneur lives a life of faith that most do not understand. Ministry, I will do for free but I do not believe I’m called to live homeless and broken, so that others can be sheltered and whole.

Click on the link below to get this perk during our crowdfunding campaign.

Click on the link below to get this perk during our crowdfunding campaign.

This is not a joke, I am really asking this as a question. I am not sure how else to understand why you watch but are not compelled to invest your resources into what you believe to be impactful work. I am asking in love.

Some people like to wait until the person is accepted by others. Some people will never support your work, they are only around to watch what happens lose, win or draw. Some people want to copy you, so they stick around to study you. Some people are in it for the free content, and never had intentions on buying anything. What I am out to discover is not who I am assigned to, to help but who is assigned to my journey as a part of my target market.

Please feel free to share your thoughts below.

Support me by clicking here for my new book crowdfunding opportunity,

and click here for information on my upcoming events.

BE. Extraordinary,

Ressurrection Graves

Posted in My thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Deitrick Haddon Response: Your Marriage Ending was A Choice

I sense that there is an attack on marriage in a variety of communities. In one of my old blog posts I mentioned that there is a group of homosexuals who said that they want same-sex marriage to be legalized so that they can lobby for marriage to be abolished altogether.

Marriage is a covenant from God and man can not make it insignificant. We are seeing the reality shows use the word “wives” when, on most of the shows where the word is used, these women are not a “wife” in the position of the word.

Likewise, we see people in the Christian community who are walking away from their marriages for irreconcilable differences, infidelity and quite frankly drama that we don’t really need to know about.

In the latest of divorces are Deitrick and Damita Haddon. Deitrick uploaded a picture of him and his new boo-thang with his brand new baby on New Year’s Eve (my birthday).

You May Also Like: Exclusive Interview with Domonique Scott Sisterhood

After he began receiving negative comments from people who are clearly in shock, he decided to take his business to Facebook and blast Isaac Carree for sleeping with his wife and breaking up his marriage.

The whole thing I find disgusting and I could have done without this knowledge. What I appreciate is Tye Tribbett who had his own extra-marital foolishness and how he humbled himself, repented publicly and recommitted himself to his marriage.

From what I hear, the Betty and Coretta movie was a fictional movie but portrayed the lives of two women whose men were saving the world. When a friend called me, and we discussed this article she chimed in saying that all she kept thinking was that their homes were not in order and they needed to go back home. And, why did I need to know that Martin Luther King Jr. was unfaithful? There is no point to this disclosure.

Day One Woman

Day One Woman

Ministers are required to have their homes in order, and by home I mean the place they sleep at night where their wife/husband and children dwell. There is nothing wrong with ministry or your career but when it seems that your relationships are not in alignment with your career, go home. It is important that you become one and walk in your oneness.

In response to the admission of Deitrick Haddon confusion I want to say this:

Isaac Carree did not MAKE you get a divorce. Divorce was an option for you and Damita. Infidelity is sin, but there was decision after the sin, to walk away. In addition to stating that you divorced Damita because of her infidelity, you have tried to excuse your own infidelity with the fact that you almost committed suicide twice. I totally understand being at a low point in life but sex in your new relationship which produced a child was also a choice.

To say anything different is to tell your listeners that they can do the same. Instead an admission (to those who follow you) not the entire world on Facebook and Instagram, would have been sufficient – because there is a baby (evidence). And, you have to know that those who are spiritually sensitive can sense what’s going on in your music without you ever saying a word-ever. It is commendable that you haven’t ministered in a year, and I would encourage you to stay seated until you are healed and whole.

Lastly, the media who are gossipers and backbiters are bullies. You owe no man an explanation for your personal affairs, but you do owe God your integrity. If you need to sit down, do that. There is a difference between secrets, scandals and your business.

A secret is something that is being held that will harm others. A scandal is when the wrong person exposes the secret. In Deitrick Haddon’s case, it sounds like it was self-inflicted. But the truth is, most things are not a “secret” they are just not someone else’s business.

You have to protect your marriage. Love covers a multitude of sin. This scripture never said that someone can abuse you in any way or constantly do the same sin – as there would be no evidence of repentance. No one can tell you that you made the right or a poor choice in getting divorced, only you know your situation but do not encourage others to do the same. As leaders, the choices we make impact generations.

When leaders realize that you can not be a leader without possessing influence, perhaps they will take the time to become whole in order to handle opposition in a way that does not divide God’s people. – Ressurrection Graves

Here is what one commenter named “Jeena” from PraiseDC had to say about this foolishness:

I don’t know how I got subscribed to you guys but the last time I checked, I thought you guys were suppose to be promoting Christian and spiritual related news and music. Not gossip in the Christian community. It disgusts me that such a station would promote and email such news out like this. I think its borderline disgusting in general for people to call out their fellow human being in such a way. We all make mistakes. Grow up and stop posting up pointless news. I think this is something that should be left up to only Deitrick Haddon, Isaac Carree, and whoever was involved. Not the public (at least not for gossip purposes).

And, we’ll end with Isaac Carree’s response which I felt was the most appropriate thing said all day. If you do not understand his comment he says that everyone should mind their business while Deitrick figures out how to stop being foolish.

“It has been brought to my attention that Deitrick Haddon recently made some very hurtful statements about me. I, as well as my wife, are both shocked and confused by Deitrick’s actions. It saddens me that he would seek to engage in mudslinging with me, especially because he and I have spoken openly and honestly about this, even long before his allegations. While I have no desire to drag these personal conversations into a public forum, he and I both know what the truth is. Still, I pray God’s best for him and his family. This weighs heavily on me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to speak from my heart. This will be the only statement that I will make regarding this situation.”

David and Tamela Mann

David and Tamela Mann

I am really praying for marriage in general, that people come back to love and understand the covenant and purpose of marriage. I am praying that those who are married will talk about why they got married often and are focused on their purpose in life as one. Love is an extremely beautiful, supernatural thing. And, married people who have gotten divorced have remarried to each other too. Selah.


Posted in Family Ties, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 41 Comments

[EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW]: Domonique Scott of the Sisterhood Reality Show on Overcoming Child Sexual Abuse, Foster Care and Prostitution

The church itself is a place where people have determined based on culture and personal revelation the heart of God. We know this because there are different sects and beliefs about paths to salvation. In every faith or religion there are people who are conservative or extremists in their thinking and the only way to know if actions are truly aligned with God is to ask him.

The Sisterhood is a reality show appearing on the TLC network formerly the acronym for The Learning Channel. I’m not sure how you officially drop the meaning behind an acronym for a network but I think that given the line-up of shows that they are now promoting they may feel a bit awkward with this self-identification of themselves.

While many well-known church entertainers have spoken out about their contention with the reality show, the real response is coming from the viewers – whether they watch or not, determines the shows stickability.

Brian and Domonique Scott, Good Life Church

Brian and Domonique Scott, Good Life Church

Domonique Scott is perceived as the “bad girl” of the group. She has been called a lot of names, and portrayed in the commercials as the one who is most unholy but I saw something else. I saw something deeper – this woman has a serious story that the camera is either not capturing or not showing us.

After Domonique saw my article about me being scripture bullied by Tara who is also a cast member of the show, and my focus on spiritual abuse she said this:

You called us [the entire cast] to the carpet.

In her above statement she explains, “we have all missed opportunities to minister during this show, not just Tara.” She continued that my article made all cast members have to take a look at the impact that they are making.

While, Tara’s response to my article was to go completely off on me I appreciate the heart of Pastor Domonique Scott, Christina Murray and Ivy Couch who wanted me to be sure to explain that the actions of one member of the cast are not necessarily the thoughts and approved actions of all cast members. Domonique offered me a formal apology on my Twitter timeline, as did Christina Murray in a direct message.

Domonique Scott Apologies on behalf of Twitter Bullying

Domonique Scott Apologies on behalf of Twitter Bullying

We must be honest about the fact that having the Sisterhood as a reality show is dangerous because non-believers and strattling-the-fence believers will have access to some of the issues that are behind-the-scenes in ministry.

Many believe that an inside look should not be available to anyone for an upfront view because like reading the bible, everything can not be understood with intellect alone but by the spirit.

However, many christian leaders are saying that this is not at all how they live and it should not be aired as a representation of how all pastor’s wives handle opposition.

You May Also Like: Tara Y. Lewis Sisterhood Bullies On Twitter

While Brian Lewis who is Tara’s husband says that reality television is the new evangelism, I highly disagree and after catching up with some other cast members they do as well.

I’m not saying I’m the representation for all first ladies, I’m telling my story. – Pastor Domonique Scott

What could happen off of the television, behind-the-scenes and in their daily lives will be the opportunity to become witnesses of the gospel to those who find them interesting, empowering and role models. However this position is not exclusive to a pastor’s wife. We should all be ministers and examples of the gospel (good news).

Pictured on Left: Pastor and Gospel Recording Artist Canton Jones - Pictured on Right: Pastor Brian Scott, the Sisterhood

Pictured on Left: Pastor and Gospel Recording Artist Canton Jones – Pictured on Right: Pastor Brian Scott, the Sisterhood

Without getting too deep into understanding evangelism, I will say that the primary focus of the calling and position of evangelism is rooted in bringing souls to christ. I don’t mean as a result of developing a fan base created by popularity that you then bring souls to Christ.

I believe that evangelism in the real sense of the call and position is that your primary focus is to bring others to Christ. In other words, if evangelism is the real purpose of this show we would see people evangelizing. Evangelism and Pastorship are not entirely the same although one person can possess within them both gifts.

Since we don’t see them evangelizing as the primary purpose of the show, we can stop assuming that this show is supposed to be a representation of evangelism and move forward to other elements of the show that may be up for discussion.

As a child sexual abuse expert, my priority is helping to prevent child sexual abuse and to support adults in healing from their past. As someone who was sexually abused myself, I get it. I understand how you can be emotionally and psychologically damaged.

I understand how life is more challenging in some areas because of what you have gone through and how child sexual abuse can lead to a life of homelessness, prostitution, drug addiction, and domestic and/or sexual violence.

For people who have been sexually abused, this is a $124 Billion dollar epidemic that people in the church (and all communities) want to continue to silence. – Ressurrection Graves

Interviewing Pastor D

I struggle in knowing how far to go with discipline. Sometimes we as parents who have not been properly trained in how to respond to them didn’t get the soft words, hugs and kisses or compassion.

It’s easy to mix a bad day with parenting and I need a mommy pause. I will apologize if I snap. Although I have passed the stage of nightmares [from child sexual abuse], I still struggle with self-preservation [in my marriage]. They (the men) all had a motive or agenda.

– Dominique Scott, The Sisterhood

Domonique was up close and personal with me, offering me permission to share parts of her story that were difficult memories to revisit. In this exclusive interview, you’ll read some parts of Dominique’s powerful story that was either uncaptured or edited out of the final version the Sisterhood producers decided to show the public.

Domonique remembers being put into foster homes because her mother was preoccupied with people-pleasing and seeking love from men. We all want to be loved, and when we do not find love in one, it usually translates into multiple counterfeits until we figure out – if we figure out, how to identify “the one”.

Without using the word neglectful, Domonique remembers her mother to be the type of mom who would deny her children (by lying about them) if the man she wanted to be with said he did not like children. She did not meet her father until she was about 7 or 8 years old, and remembers that she saw him once again in 1991. She was born to educated parents who were at the top of their classes, who became drug addicts.

Domonique Scott, the Sisterhood

Domonique Scott, the Sisterhood

Scott who holds a master’s degree in business remembers that her stepfather’s father was a pedophile and woman-beater. She went into several foster homes where it was abundantly clear that the motivation for their care was money, not love or providing a nurturing environment taking on the role of a mother or father.

In her last foster home before becoming a child prostitute, she was passed around for $20 by her foster-father in Miami. She believes that his child sexual abuse grooming® started about a year before he actually did begin raping her. He would touch her in a way that was abnormal or uncomfortable and usually this happens when a perpetrator is trying to get you comfortable with being violated.

For this reason, we should never take a child’s impulses to report that someone touched the small of their back, their shoulder or another part of their body as innocent if they say that they were uncomfortable.

Domonique remembers his grooming tactics as barbaric stating that he wasn’t particularly nice to her. What he would do however was say yes when the wife said no, or offer her $10 instead of the $5 that the wife gave her in response to her request.

There is nothing wrong with being loving, affectionate or providing for a child. The concern is that the behaviors for the sole purpose of gaining the child’s trust is to sexually abuse them.

Domonique was a prostitute for seven years. She was in a relationship with her pimp. He never beat her. Her first “John” bought her first set of church dresses. She married a man who had just come home from jail, that was a part of her church. He beat her brutally for the duration of their marriage.

The church told her to stay and so she did. Ministries as I have mentioned in the other article here, often tell people to stay in relationships that are filled with domestic and sexual violence.

While as Christians marriage should not be an option, we must also understand the complexities of each dynamic situation where God does not desire for us to be beaten – he did that – for us. Wisdom is necessary to determine if a  relationship can be healed from abuse, or will end in domestic violence.

It wasn’t until they [the church] told me [to], that I left. If I say anything to women who are being abused, leave him in bible study. And, I want women to know that they should not wait until they cannot  take anymore beatings. Leave! – Domonique Scott

Domonique left after her ex-husband rammed her car with her and the children in it causing them to spin around seven or eight times. She miraculously walked away from the incident. The day she left her ex-husband beat her face in, to the point where she could not see out of one of her eyes.

The men of the church went on a hunt for him, and he was in the house the whole time hiding. He jumped out with a knife to kill her, and not realizing that one of the men of the church stayed behind in case he came back. She remembers that one night he woke up in the middle of the night saying, “I feel the spirit of murder on me, you better pray.”

I asked Domonique how she believes that the church, and those who are in the church can heal from child sexual abuse, and domestic violence. She said:

Rehabilitation never starts from inside the institution. It starts inside of you. Even if it hurts the church has to be honest. The bible says that if I [God] be lifted up, I [God] will draw all men. Don’t put preachers on altars. Christians are lazy. You want to be a prophetic junkie. You don’t want to study to show thyself approved unto God.

If I may interpret her heart in this interview, her desire was not to discredit other pastors, rather to put an accountability for us all to be more intuned with our personal relationships with God, building that intimacy so that we don’t need a prophet in areas where we can seek God for ourselves.

Domonique met her husband at a famous comedy club in Atlanta. He showed interest. He was different from her DMX – type past attractions and eventually she had a light bulb moment that he was indeed the one.

Brian and Domonique Scott, pastors

Brian and Domonique Scott, pastors

While they have had challenges in their finances, ministry and even their relationship because of the external struggles which come from life-learning, they have maintained their strength, and renewed their love. They are re-opening Good Life Church on February 17th, 2013.

Every woman is a first lady, and every man is a pastor at our church. We’re all in this together. We don’t act like we’re scholars of the word. We’re child-like and passionate in our teaching. – Pastor Domonique Scott, Good Life Church

Scandals and The Sisterhood

As I look at scandals within the real-life church that fill our inbox’s like Jamal Bryant, who impregnated a child and then took a hiatus from the church to do a speaking tour while the dust settled or like Eddie Long who is a homosexual-pedophile according to the allegations made against him by five young men, who sat down for a while and then returned to be crowned as king by some Jewish Rabbi with an unoriginal article of his culture that Long’s congregation sat in amazement to observe in ceremony.

As I look at people who I can be honest that I was disappointed in like Tye Tribbett and his wife, Da Truth who slept with Tye Tribbett’s wife, Deitrick and Damita Hadden, and Isaac Carree who was sleeping with Damita are examples of harmful disclosures to the body of christ.

As an aside, Isaac Carree just came out with a song who sounds just like R. Kelly and Deitrick Haddon who just wants to make it to heaven (sounding like Prince) is remaking everything R&B like “Climax” by Usher and “Adorn” by Miguel.

The report of James Fortune being sued was quickly quieted as people were satisfied with his response to his admission of child abuse. He never mentioned being delivered from anger during all those songs where he said he was delivered from homelessness. The child was so badly burned that he was rushed by helicopters to a hospital that specialized in burns.

You May Also Like: Tara Y. Lewis Pedophile Comment

The child is still disfigured which was the complaint of the biological father who was suing for $5 Million. From a ministerial perspective it becomes confusing when people say they have committed to a lifestyle that is holy, but their actions are not parallel.

The list is ridiculous and unnecessary, but the reality is that we did not need a “sisterhood” which would reveal our “secrets” as ministers to discredit the kingdom of God.

People who are making music without the presence of God being experienced through it can be thought of as contributors. People who walk around claiming to believe one thing, having created their own variation of the word can be held accountable. As I’ve stated before, as pastors we should look different from those who are coming into the church to learn how to live for God.

Yes, we do all make mistakes however I believe that there is a preparation for ministry and if you are sincerely struggling there is a way of escape – SIT DOWN! You sit yourself down so that God doesn’t have to expose you.

He will give you opportunities to overcome your personal trials but when you take on the attitude that you are too big and bad to be dealt with, he’ll remind you that he’s God and in truth it is His ministry.  I believe that you must develop both your nine fruits of the spirit (character) and your gifts of the spirit which are carried by the anointing.

The Sisterhood is not to blame for the negative view of any church let alone the black or evangelical church. My hope is that you will continue to find foolishness unacceptable no matter who it is, and where you are, that you would see yourself as peculiar, and that you would begin to line up with that standard for your life.

The benefit of the Sisterhood is not to get an inside view of preacher’s wives so much as it is an opportunity to see women who believe they are called to ministry grow into their personal best while telling their stories.

 They love God, they just don’t love God’s people. Our ability to love and forgive are the only thing that sets us apart from the world. – Domonique Scott, Pastor of Good Life Church

She said of the argument about the name of the Rutherford Plantation home:

The argument with DeLana was edited out. My daughter almost drowned at their house. Her husband got in the face of one of the cast members’ faces. No crops are on their land. They have a swimming pool.

Her comment was stating that the question about the word “plantation” was relevant because they do not have one. In the episodes concerning her tattoo she said:

I don’t have other tattoos. That was my first one and it says “free”. And, the Rutherford (cast members) have tattoos all over their bodies.

During the trip to Miami where she had been a drug addict and prostitute, she heard an overwhelming emotion come over her like, an audible God-voice which said:

You have forgiven. You have released. You have pushed forward but there was one person that you have not forgiven. You still have not let Domonique go. Forgive little Domonique.

This visitation to her old stomping grounds served as a life-changing event. She began to realize that all the child sexual abuse, the conditions of her childhood and her parent’s physical and emotional absences were not her fault.

One thing is true, we as a body of christ must began to understand the difference between opinion and discernment, struggle and living in sin without conviction, culture or tradition and Yahweh. -Ressurrection Graves


Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 40 Comments

Ressurrection Day Three: Superbowl Victory

Today was easy. It was easier than I expected. I was not as hungry, so I consumed less smoothies. I remembered to drink water. What made today especially interesting about my 60-day juicing challenge was that my family and I went to see the Superbowl at a family member’s house.

In addition to the fact that the Superbowl is the largest human trafficking scene in the world, it is responsible for the massive overconsumption of food at house parties, and bars everywhere. If there is one day that you avoid any kind of nutritional plan, it would be a Superbowl game because of the amount of temptation.

However, I withstood the chicken smells, and the chocolate chip cookies being passed around. I sipped on my smoothie that was made with broccoli and hidden by berries as if my “food” was the best thing in the house.

It was a great day with family. I rooted for the Baltimore Ravens, and I knew that when the lights went out, the momentum would change, and it was possible that the 49ers would win.

Someone on Facebook posted this funny pic.

Someone on Facebook posted this funny pic.

I haven’t screamed so loud for a football game since the Redskins back in the day! So, to wrap up the joy, excitement, and fulfillment of the day, I wanted to dedicate a song to Ray Lewis and the Baltimore Ravens.

Since I am from Washington, DC I consider Baltimore my neighbors. I was trying to think of a song, and Victory by Tye Tribbett came to mind. I wasn’t sold on it, but after watching the video I knew that this was the one.

By the way, how do you think Beyonce did for the half time show?

Posted in Christian Living, Christianity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ressurrection Day Two: Quenching my Thirst

After writing Day One yesterday evening, I saw a post on Facebook that described the atmosphere of an all night prayer that I wanted to attend as Supernatural. I was two hours late but we made it, and the ingredients for a supernatural experience were sprinkled lovely to host the presence of God.

I pressed my way last night because I felt like passing out, and not under the holy spirit. I started this challenge and I missed something that I need most, water. After realizing that my headache was warning me of something I inquired spiritually for an answer. Apparently drinking liquids no matter how healthy they are, does not replace water.

Ah-ha! Biblically, water is a representation of the holy spirit so for the purposes of this next point, I needed to clarify what water represents.

No matter how health conscious we are, or how well we balance everything else in our life, water is the foundation for wellness. The amount of nutritional value in our meals, and our relationships can be filling but without water we will forever thirst. – Ressurrection Graves

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. who has decided to journal her self-challenge to eat no food for sixty days. She is available for media and speaking engagements on topics surrounding child sexual abuse and homelessness. She may be reached at: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse, Christian Living, Christianity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ressurrection Day One: Meet Kale

meet kale


What in the name of all that is holy did I just commit to? Truthfully, in this moment I do not see the next 59 days ahead of me. However choosing to be the answer, I adjust. I am not going to look at tomorrow until it arrives. I cannot.

I should clarify something. I am not “juicing” by the definition that I think everyone understands it. What I’ve learned is that the difference between a juicer and a blender is that the blender keeps all the pulp in it, and the juicer separates the pulp (which is fiber). I am not eating any food, and I am using my blender to make me fruit and vegetable smoothies.

Since I have an oversized bag of Kale in my refrigerator, every smoothie that I have for the next week will have Kale in it. I thought that it would be challenging to be creative with making smoothies however today I realized that I am used to putting a fork to my mouth.

You May Also Like: A Pastor’s Life, is a Fasted Life

There are people who have oral fixations and they need a mint or a piece of gum in their mouth. For me, at some point today it was my natural instinct to look for something to chew. You can’t exactly do that with liquid. The best that I’m getting is pulp.

At the point when I felt like maybe I was trying to challenge myself with something that is too hard, my husband told me that I was not drinking enough. He went and made me a smoothie that I can not put down.

Then, I began to tell him about my concern that I’m in too deep, and he came and had a passionate sit down with me in my office about how I needed to pray. What? I’m thinking, you don’t have to tell me to pray. Is this a joke? But, I kept my mouth closed. And, I said to myself, “Self, you have not prayed today.” Now, when I say I haven’t prayed today, what I really mean is that I haven’t spent time in worship.

Today was a full day. And, every time I tried to get a moment I was occupied with work. I interviewed Domonique Scott, a cast member for the Sisterhood, and played phone tag with a woman who booked me to speak as her keynote for an event in Northern, California in May 2013.

The best quote of the day came from my client who booked me for the keynote. She said, “They don’t know you. I called you because I want them to know you.” In other words, come out here and change lives, so we can fly you back out here for multiple events.

Someone wants me to be known? I don’t mean like famous known, I mean like – you are the solution, an answer to a problem – known. What this means for me is that I have to continue to push and challenge myself to discover answers to relevantly be one.

After my husband’s reminder I went to YouTube. I clicked on a video that I always overlook and I’m so glad I did. The words are below:

I’m a mess, I’m a mess, I’m a mess right now don’t fix me up just lay me down, you fill me up to pour me out, I am undone.

The “I’m a mess” can be literal or figurative, but with this being my first day of this 60 days without food could this song be more divine?

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert, and H.E.A.L.E.R. who has decided to journal her self-challenge to eat no food for sixty days. She is available for media and speaking engagements on topics surrounding child sexual abuse and homelessness. She may be reached at: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or 202.717.7377 (RESS)

Posted in Child Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment