Overcoming Incest and The Effects of Child Sexual Abuse Grooming

Eyes are the windows into your soul. Eye See You. – Ressurrection

Women and Men who have been incested often have trouble with developing and/or maintaining healthy relationships. It is somewhat confusing to do so because you have no real sense of what a healthy relationship is.

For example, in incest abuse, where the family member is sexually abusing you, they are one person when they are committing abuse, and another in front of others. There are many faces that they put on. An abuser presents him or herself to be different people depending on who he or she is manipulating.

Child Sexual Abuse Grooming is a term that I created because I believe that this is where abuse happens first. Before an abuser ever makes an inappropriate touch, they have thought out how they will do so by breaking down inhibitions and monitoring how they can prey on a child that they have access to.

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This is where silence comes from. Children normally tell you everything. Children are mostly honest and blunt, because they do not know anything different. When a child becomes afraid to share, or disenchanted with sharing become alarmed because this is not how most children are.

As children, most are taught to keep the secret of their abuse so that the abuser can gain the trust of the people around the victim in the same manner that they have done so with the child. Child Sexual Abuse Grooming does not just happen to the child that they are after, it happens to all of the people between the abuser and the child.

Just in case they have failed in keeping the child silent, the adults will be in disbelief, and permit continued offending. In many cases, you may “feel bad” that your family will be broken, or that you’re at fault for the change of events that happen if you do break your silence.

You take your experience with grooming, and abuse into your adulthood often being manipulated, and feeling confused. These behaviors are etched into your psyche and they feel normal, but they do not serve you in building relationships that help you to become the person that you came here to be, before abuse ever happen.

What happened to you was not destiny. A heinous choice was made that shaped how you think, feel and see life. Now, as an adult we have to go back, look at how we learned to accept abuse and conflict examining every fiber of what we understand about ourselves.

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The eyes are the windows to the soul. You soul is your mind, your will and your emotions. Your thinker, your feeler, your chooser. Look deep within. The journey that abused persons must experience to be free can sometimes be like being abused again so it is important not only to have someone to talk to, but to create a support system around you, once you understand what healthy relationships are.

Your spirit is broken but not for long. If you are reading this, you are ready for your journey to love, and your journey to love you. I have a system of healing, I had to go through it myself, which breaks down the journey that we take to wholeness into bite-sized morsels, so that healing can be an enjoyable enlightenment.

The other option is not to heal at all, and to continue to live your life as if nothing ever happened. If that works for you, I don’t think you would have stumbled across this article.

Child Sexual Abuse Grooming leads to child sexual abuse whether it is incest, rape, molestation or other specific types of sexual violence. Child sexual abuse however leads to alcoholism, and narcotics abuse to numb the pain. It leads to promiscuity, and domestic violence.

I believe personally, and based on my extensive research that the root of most of our problems which the Center for Disease Control reported last year costs us $124 Billion dollars, come from being sexually abused as children.

It changes your mind.  I want to help you to change it back. You can be healed, totally. I believe in you. The community of readers on my website in 188 countries believe in you.

You can come off of heroin addiction. You can overcome anything that you have experienced which stems from the abuse including promiscuity, prostitution, homelessness, domestic and sexual violence. There is nothing that is stronger than your spiritual self. Your soul must do what your spirit tells it too! Join me.

BE. Extraordinary!

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. She is available for radio, television and speaking engagements surrounding child sexual abuse and homelessness nationwide. Please email your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or call 202.717.7377