How Women Can Develop Friendships I

“If you’re the kind of person that is always griping about how much you give to others it is highly truthful that you haven’t given enough, or at least as much as you think you have.

If you are saying that you are not looking for reciprocity but you are telling everyone about what you contribute to someone or some-thing, you are not being honest about your need for immediate gratification. If you’re not looking for reciprocity stop saying that you are.

It is confusing. Do what you do out of love not rooted in selfishness and you will get your just reward. It may not come from the same person. It may be bigger and better because GOD is the rewarder.” – Ressurrection

I thought it was really important to start this blog, setting the stage for the wisdom, revelation and power principles that this blog is set out to convey about friendships.

How should we as WOMEN develop lasting friendships? That is the question. Princess of Controversy invited women to her artist’s lounge for a for a day of sophisticated conversation. She describes her desire for the Saturday afternoon as a day to see women of color a.k.a Sistas, develop personal relationships with one another, with the foresight that we will do business better together.

Princess of Controversy is in my opinion the Minister of Confidence! Her mission, desire and ministry is to serve others in a way that will build them up in the area of confidence.

There were so many notes from the exercises that she gave us, that I am going to create this blog into parts.

Princess asked a very interesting question, indicative of the afternoon. She wanted us to name five things that prevent us from developing female friendships.

We heard answers like, vulnerability, honesty, afraid to be judged, competitive or jealous, dishonest (sending the representative), and a lack of confidence from two of the beautiful women.

My daughter (14) was in attendance, and she mentioned that immediately trusting everyone too quickly, and others not having full disclosure. She also said that sometimes we as women can constantly try to find reasons to improve the person that we have befriended instead of allowing them to be who they are. One of the other ladies that came in late resonated this same thought by saying that, “We don’t give them time to evolve in other areas of their lives.” As Princess added, “We fall in love with the person for the one area that we connect with them on.”

I will add that sometimes we do need to allow people to be who they are and love them anyway. Sometimes they need to evolve, and sometimes they don’t. You all just have to be mature enough to disagree.


I personally do not deal with the competitiveness of women but I will deal with this as a topic because I would like to put an end to the topic. It is childish to compare yourself to someone else, and I will dedicate a paragraph only a paragraph to dealing with this issue.

I am the type of woman who hangs out with and gets along with men. I seem to enjoy learning about men more than talking about them constantly. In the next few blogs, I will talk about what my answers were to the issues that keep women from having closer relationships.

Here are my topics, and my answers to the questions (remember, I am going to throw in competitiveness as a bonus because I hear that this is an area of discontentment for many women.)

Personal Topics:

  • They don’t listen- they have an answer before you finish speaking.
  • Judgmental- Women think “I’m right”
  • Compartmentalize the friendships
  • We don’t treat people based on their love language

Princess made it clear that if we relate to each other better in our personal lives, we will relate to each other better in business. With that in mind, she asked the same thing for business relationships. What are some things that prevent us from having successful business relationships? In this series of blogs, I will also discuss my answers to her questions, by turning them into the following:

Business Topics:

  • Often want something for free
  • Backbiting- talking about one another, about petty differences
  • Think like a woman instead of a business woman
  • Getting caught up in the small stuff
  • Too social in a business environment

Do you feel like you are living an Extraordinary life? If not, stay tuned with this blog series so that you can become more acquainted with your Extraordinary self, and build better relationships in your world of women.

For more information about Princess of Controversy, Artivist please visit:

Join us every Tuesday for the whole month of March to cover this topic of developing lasting friendships among women, all women!

About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on
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