11 Questions about SEX that you should ask – part three

8. Can we say NO to eachother? Wow…I hate having to include this question because honestly, I have never said no to my significant other, NEVER. I can remember times when I had a headache or was not feeling well. Let’s just say that I felt all better after he helped work it out. In my opinion, there is no earthly reason to say no to your mate, but the good thing is, I am not you. You have to discuss whether you all may have spiritual, or emotional liberty to bail out on sex. This kind of goes back to one of the earlier questions about your level of sexual desire. Many women state that after having children or some other reason they are too tired. I may write about managing your life and sex at a later time but for now here are a few things to consider. It’s a good thing that he/she is craving you and just because you say no, the desire doesn’t wane. Now, if this is excessive behavior and you all are skipping jobs or constantly late then you don’t have a sex problem, you have a priority and timing issue that you can resolve together. Just have the conversation about the word NO as married people. Be careful to hear the answer of your potential mate because they are going to be extremely truthful about their feelings I believe. No has been a word that has been both intimidating and empowering for women. Pay attention to this conversation and gauge how your perspectives agree or disagree here. If you disagree in anyway, can and will your potential mate respect your answers?

9. What is Sex? What is making love? – There are varied responses to this question and as a neutral voice, I will not try to answer it however, I will say that it is important for you to ask this question. I remember when I was about 17 and on the phone with a male friend who attempted to answer this question. He said that Sex was fast and calculated. Although I paraphrase his message he clearly thought that sex was just an act without any feelings or slow motion. When I asked about making love- he talked about slow motion. He thought making love was slow motion sex. In Proverbs 31 Man, Michelle McKinney Hammond describes the woman’s vagina as the “Holies of Holies” and when engaging in the action of love making their is a spiritual experience that takes place. The “Priest” enters in and worships with God. She likened making love to an expression of your relationship with God in the most intimate meeting place, beyond the veil. As the title suggests the book was written to speak to men but I must encourage you, men and women to read it. It was a powerful look at the man’s headship and his relationship with him woman. I believe that knowing where your potential mate stands on their definitions of their sexual intimacy and actions with others is critical to your understanding their commitment to the entire relationship. If sex is just sex, and the purpose of it is to simply ejaculate then there is no real significance in having that climax with you! Check it out for yourself and use wisdom.

*Stay tuned for the last part of the series…part four! Subscribe, leave a comment, and click share!

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About Ressurrection

Ressurrection Graves is a Child Sexual Abuse Grooming Expert and H.E.A.L.E.R. (Healer, Educator, Activist, Life Skills Expert, Empowerment Speaker, Relationship Mentor) Her website reaches readership in 188 countries. She is available for national speaking engagements, radio and television interviews. She can be reached at: 202.717.7377 or send your request to: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com or comment on http://www.ressurrection.wordpress.com
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