Entertainment Today: Lil’ Wayne, Meek Mills, Nicki Minaj, and Sex With A Grudge

Not every black person knows about the story of Emmett Till. In fact, I am going to be honest and say that I have confused the story of Emmett Till with Medgar Evers. As I have heard both stories, what I have taken from them is injustice, murder and racism. My miseducation with the historical injustices of some names that have been used to rally racial equality does not mean that I am void of identifying said injustice when I see it.

I use my vulnerability to share my truth about my lack of facts concerning the Till story to make the point that there are many people in the generations after Till who are listening to Lil’ Wayne’s music from different races, who are unfamiliar with the Till story.

I am fairly confident that those people did not stop the music to go and research his story – rather they assumed that because it was Lil’ Wayne, Till must be something good to equate his experience to sex.

According to History.com:

While visiting family in Money, Mississippi, 14-year-old Emmett Till, an African American from Chicago, is brutally murdered for flirting with a white woman four days earlier. His assailants–the white woman’s husband and her brother–made Emmett carry a 75-pound cotton-gin fan to the bank of the Tallahatchie River and ordered him to take off his clothes. The two men then beat him nearly to death, gouged out his eye, shot him in the head, and then threw his body, tied to the cotton-gin fan with barbed wire, into the river.

All week I’ve been faced with talking about the identity of young black men. And, in response many white men and women have disagreed with a blog article that I wrote here about a 13-year-old african-american boy who posed as a “newborn” baby with open-toed tights, soft lighting and what looks like make-up on his eye lids as a “Welcome Announcement” to his adoptive parents’ friends, family, professional colleagues, Facebook friends – and now the entire world via internet, print and television.

A few weeks ago, my daughter said to me that Lil Wayne “is on some other stuff”. Which was teenage talk for “he’s doing too much”, also slang for having no idea what he’s talking about in his music but it’s not something that I want to hear.

When I was younger we used slang words in the DMV- Washington, DC, Maryland and Virginia like “tight” to describe something that was good. I remember a trip to New York and when I said, “tight” they acted like I spoke another language. I had to explain what “tight” meant, and they said “Oh you mean butta?” As in, butter; smooth like butter. We used other terms like, “like that”, and my personal favorite slang word which I still use is “dope”, which also means, butter, like that, and tight.

Today however there are new terms. “Crack” is something used to describe something that is tight, butta, like that and of course, my personal favorite – dope. “Trippy” as in, “you’re trippy mane” is used to describe someone who is intoxicated or visibly high like, let’s say in school. And, “hurt body scotty” which is said to be used by Lil Wayne before describes how “hurt” you are.

When the lyrics, and teens say that they are “hurt”, they aren’t talking about their feelings. “Hurt” is what they plan to do to themselves with the consumption of drugs and alcohol, and “hurt body scotty” means that they are so hurt that they have or will throw up – leaning over.

Today we are bombarded with words like “Kill” and “Murder” for simple adjectives. The tongue is apparently so weighed down with how many words it uses, that these individual words carry enough meaning to replace full sentences.

Perhaps clear communication can clear up this misunderstanding

Meek Mills wrote a song that I perceived to be blasphemy and even a form of hate-speech by definition because he is not a christian as he made very clear in an interview with Pastor Jomo Johnson who requested that he apologize publicly. I also wrote a blog about Mills who had disrespectful rape lyrics which stated:

“have my nigga snatch yo bitch and rape yo honey”.

You May Also Like: Meek Mills “Church” or Meek Mills “Rape Lyrics”

Honestly, the music and entertainment industry has always been reckless – or calculated in their attempt to make a generation operate under its command. I believe that the music has changed as this generation, i.e., Lil Wayne and his peers have taken the idea of sex, drugs and money to a level of systemic audible pornography in lyric and accompanying music.

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Lil Wayne takes over the song around the third verse, and the line in question goes something like this: “Pop a lot of pain pills/Bout to put rims on my skateboard wheels/Beat that p***y up like Emmett Till/Yeah….” – Madam Noire

Reverend Jesse Jackson Sr. called L.A. Reid about the lyrics of the song, and the version was taken off-line out of respect for the historical preservation of Emmett Till and his family. An apology was also issued by Reid who did not hear the lyrics before they were “leaked” online.

The family of Emmett Till, Airicka Gordon-Taylor, cousin of Till and the director of the Mamie Till Mobley Memorial Foundation heard about the lyrics and were outraged by them. She said something so powerful,

“How could you compare the gateway to life, to the brutality and punishment of death?”

Stevie Wonder one of our most celebrated musical icons spoke through the Associated Press to say this:

“You can’t equate that to Emmett Till. You just cannot do that,” he explained. “I think you got to have someone around you that – even if they are the same age or older – is wiser to say, ‘Yo, that’s not happening. Don’t do that.

Sometimes people have to put themselves in the place of people who they are talking about. Imagine if that happened to your mother, brother, daughter or your son. How would you feel? Have some discernment before we say certain things. That goes for me or any other (song) writer.”

The outrage from people is clearly about the use of Emmett Till as a figure of racism in the African-American community however I want to add an element that is not as welcomed in discussion – sexual violence.

We hear men say that they are going to “beat that pussy up”. As a woman, I feel very comfortable making a blanket statement that when we hear that a man wants to beat that pussy up, we imagine that he has a big penis, or that he knows how to work the average penis size that he has to please the woman he’s having sex with.

We imagine that he’s going to make us feel good, that he’ll go deep – but we do not imagine that he will literally beat our pussy up. Why would a woman, whose vagina is inward agree to brutality? Why would she consent to damaging a part of her being in order to experience what she believes will be ecstasy?

Now that Lil’ Wayne and the rest of the imps who promote sexual violence have run out of things to say, who I believe are participating in sexual violence behind the music he raps about, he adds Emmett Till whose eyes were gouged, and face beaten in? This metaphor gives me images of torment – and while I as a woman may consent to having pleasurable sex, I have not consented to having sex that will abuse, bruise and send me to the hospital.

In fact, as a woman I also feel confident saying that if you make her pussy swollen it could mean that she was turned off at some point but you were too selfish to notice, that her juices stopped flowing. Whatever the reason, friction and broken skin could lead to a swollen vagina, and to high-five and celebrate a woman’s painful experience with you indicates that your intention is sexual violence.

Sexual violence is not love, and is not sex.  – Ressurrection Graves 

The real question is, what is she consenting to? And, as a man – a real man, if you are with a woman who is consenting to sexual violence perhaps you want to examine why she finds this acceptable, what other risks is she taking, and ask yourself whether you can trust a woman who does not value herself.

If you both consent to sexual violence, that is between you, and your partner. However, if your partner has not consented to you literally beating that pussy up, you are violating trust and you are being violent – without consent.

In a radio interview last night, I was asked about pornography. Pornography is a multi-billion dollar business. You don’t even have to watch movies anymore to see images that are filled with lust and an invitation to masturbate.

On Valentine’s Day Nicki Minaj sent a photo collage of her behind to her more than 15 million twitter followers. Since I’m not a follower, I would have missed the opportunity to view her ass-ets but thanks to Global Grind, who I do follow on Facebook it was the share of the day. She was pictured in a thong bikini, and in her message including a hashtag it read: #JerkResponsibly

This accompanied a pic of her on the set of a music video where she wears a thong bikini.

There are a few things that you want to know. Pedophile is a clinical term. Someone is diagnosed with pedophilia, but like so many other words, we often use them as familiar terms. In the justice system – pedophilia would not be used to charged someone rather, “sexual offense(s)” may be used depending on your state.

Pedophiles are not the same as the general term “sexual predators”. A sexual predator can mean anyone who is a predator after sex. This has more to do with your actions, the type of abuse used in order to get what you want including manipulation, coercion, child sexual abuse grooming®, or child grooming.

While 80% of pedophiles watch pornography, we seem to ignore the fact that the pornography industry is a multi-billion dollar business who makes videos for the demand.

It has been found that many sexual predators mimmick pornographic videos when they rape women. The pornography industry caters to the requests of its clients who want to see violent scenarios of sex.

Pornography does not promote sex. It promotes violence. In healthy relationships you can creatively engage in love-making that is enjoyable to you and your partner. There is difference between lust – which is never satisfied and love. The pornography industry caters to lust, and for this reason, its clients are never satisfied and they continue to create more videos that promote sexual violence.

In the case of Lil’ Wayne and his Emmett Till lyric who is dubbed a “pill popping animal”, I wonder if S.W.A.G. is his pill of choice. A poet in the Washington, DC area uploaded this picture the other day, and while men made light of it – even if appalled by it, I saw through different eyes.

I imagined being the woman laying down with her ass-ets and vagina burning on fire. I had a physical reaction to the idea and had to post for you, what is being sold and consumed by men who want to become a “beast” in order to extract the “beauty” out of the birth canal of a woman.

This promotes sexual violence and offers instruction on how to use it on the label.

You read it correctly! It says, 1 to hurt it, and 2 to kill it – and by hurt and kill they do mean “beat” and “murder” (other slang words being used as adjectives). According to this pill brand S.W.A.G. means Sex With A Grudge. I took a look at urban dictionary where several commenters believe that S.W.A.G. was a term used in the sixties by a homosexual group, and its meaning Secretly We Are Gay. Today we know it as a word that means someone has a sexy or attractive gait and style.

In the videos promoting S.W.A.G. they show a depressed man who is confronted by emotional abuse from a woman who ridicules and disrespected him because he finishes before she does. Then magically, he is introduced to the pill that will change his life and rid him of his sexual anxieties.

It is unrealistic. The issue is not only that pills like these are responsible for the impotence of men as a long-term effect, but that the whole intention behind using this pill is to violently use and abuse a woman. In a video on their website the video ends with his violent thrusts in the womans mouth, and music in the background which say, “I’m going to f*ck you up.”

On their website “FAQ” page, they indicate that women can use the pills as well, however in every video it is about male domination and violence. When asked if there are any side effects they say, “We have not yet had a client inform us of any side effects. NOT ONE!!!”

This answer about no side effects indicate that no studies or testing have been done either. They encourage you to take it everyday, and report that their clients say it is okay to take it regardless of your other prescription medication.

The ingredients listed are Polyrhachis Vicina Roger, Formica Sanguinea, Ginseng (root) Hippocampi, Medlar, and a Proprietary Blend of Essential Amino Acids and Trace Minerals. On this website the same ingredients are listed for a different product, called Black Ant, only they have a proprietary blend which tells me that they have done some kind of testing. If the product is so natural and herbal as a supplement for male enhancement, why does it rely on promotion of sexual violence to sell its product?

You May Also Like: The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse

In conclusion, I read a book by Michelle McKinney Hammond called The Proverbs 31 Man many years ago that told me that entering the woman was like the holies of holies. The holies of holies was a place in the tabernacle beyond the outer court, the inner court where the priest were, and the veil that divided this 15×15 foot cubical called the holies of holies from sinful people and a holy God.

The high priest had to prepare for being in God’s presence. The ark of the covenant or “mercy-seat” was there. This was the place of atonement, where the high priest could enter only once a year. It was a place where God dwelled. He now dwells in us. We are the habitation of God.

A woman’s vagina is like heaven. It is like the place where God dwells. You must enter in. There is a spiritual exchange between heaven and earth when you enter a woman. It is holy. Sex is not a bad thing but violence, lust, pornography, pill popping – all these things feed insecurities and promote a thirst that cannot be quenched.

As parents, as teens and as music lovers we with clarity need to understand that a woman is not an object. We make choices, we consent to sex and not violence, our understanding of beating up the pussy means that we think you’re going to do a good job, and not that we’ll feel raped and violated (whether we tell you or not) at the end of what was supposed to be a good time.

Young black men need to know that Lil’ Wayne was sexually abused – forced to have sex, and openly stated that he’d do the same thing to Lil’ Twist. Many Hollywood children have been sexually abused by the producers of movies and other powerful people they fear exposing. 80% of people who are substance abusers (narcotics, alcohol) have been sexually abused. 75% of prostitutes were sexually abused. 80% of mental health patients were sexually abused. And the pornography industry makes videos for rapists and pedophiles (their biggest clients) yet the movies are promoted to you. Lil’ Wayne is not your idol. He is not your example and he is killing himself, while promoting you to kill the pussy, giving you images that you are brainwashed into believing make you popular and masculine. – Ressurrection Graves

Your masculinity is not wrapped up in raping women – which is what you are really doing in your mind. With time, effort and communication a healthy relationship depends on exchanging ideas, learning effective ways to complete each other in life and in ecstasy.

If you have questions about:

• How to have a healthy relationship
• How improve your mindset about lust vs. love
• How to view women in a positive way and not as objects
• How to heal from past sexual abuse or domestic violence
• How to overcome pornography addiction

Or any other questions that you would like to have answered, please do not hesitate to contact me for a 15 min-consultation.

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse expert and H.E.A.L.E.R.® who speaks on topics surrounding healthy relationships, overcoming homelessness, child sexual abuse prevention, adult healing, and awareness. Ressurrection is available for radio/television interviews, or ministry/conference/keynote speaking engagements nationwide by telephone at: 202.717.7377 (RESS) or please email: ressurrection dot wordpress at yahoo dot com.